I Owed You One
by cpdfan4
Summary: "So you're here alone?" she asked, but before he could answer, there was a knock on the door. "Jay! Someone's here for you!" he heard his dad call from the foyer. Confused, he walked out of the kitchen and was met with a familiar pair of hazel eyes.
1. Chapter 1

Jay threw his dress shoes and a tie into of his suitcase and zipped it up, praying that he had everything he needed for the weekend and wouldn't have to listen to his mom nag about how he needed to be more organized. He already knew he was going to have to listen to her nag all weekend about how he needed a girlfriend; he didn't need to hear her complain about anything else. He looked at his watch and sighed, knowing it was time for him to get on the road before he was late to his brother's rehearsal dinner.

He threw his bags onto the passenger seat of his truck and began heading north to Wisconsin. He hadn't seen his family in months and as much as he didn't want to have the "girlfriend" conversation again, he was excited to get away from Chicago for the weekend. While he loved his job in Intelligence during the week, weekends lately had been rough and usually consisted of third-wheeling Erin and Severide or Ruzek and Burgess at Molly's. God, he needed a girlfriend. He'd tried to find one, really. He tried to reconnect with Allie but the spark was gone, he'd gotten a few girls' numbers at Molly's, and he'd even asked Erin to set him up a few times. But every date he went on, he found something wrong with the girl. Usually, it was that none of them were Erin Lindsay.

The sound of his phone ringing broke his thoughts and he smiled when his partner's name flashed on his screen. "Hey, you. I'm on my way to Wisconsin." He answered, keeping his eyes on the road. He had thought she was with Kelly and tried to hide the surprise in his voice.

"Oh my god, I forgot! I'll let you go, drive safe. And have fun! I'm sorry I didn't come say goodbye!" she began to apologize, and he laughed.

"Er, it's three days. I'll be in the office on Monday. And you don't have to hang up."

"I know it's only three days, but how am I gonna survive Molly's without you tomorrow night?" she frowned as if he could see her face.

"You have Kelly. And besides, I won't be having too much fun, just getting hounded by mom about why I don't have a girlfriend yet." He was confused about her Molly's comment, but it made him smile.

Erin cringed at the mention of Kelly's name and sighed. "Yeah. Right. I'm really letting you go though, because you need to pay attention to the road. Text me when you get there?"

"Of course. Don't have too much fun at work without me today," Jay said, reluctantly hanging up his phone and turning up the radio.

xoxoxoxoxo

Erin hung up her phone and sighed. She had called to tell Jay that she'd broken up with Kelly, but she didn't need him to be her therapist when he should be paying attention to the road, he wasn't even that good of a driver with no distractions. Erin couldn't believe she had forgotten his brother's wedding was this weekend; with all of her problems with Kelly she had become a terrible partner. She replayed their quick conversation in her mind, and just then realized his "girlfriend" comment and smirked. She would love to meet Mrs. Halstead; according to Jay, she was always busting his balls and seemed like someone Erin could really get along (and make fun of Jay) with. Then she had an idea.

"Hank?" she stood up from her desk and walked into her pseudo-father's office. "Are we getting a new case today?"

"Nah, using the day to catch up on paperwork. What's up, kid?" Hank looked up from his desk.

"I finished my paperwork last night. Can I have the day? Pleeeease?" she begged.

Hank looked at her suspiciously and nodded. "Stay out of trouble."

"You're the best." Erin smiled and grabbed her coat from her desk, running out of the precinct and to her apartment.

xoxoxoxoxo

A few hours later, Jay pulled into the driveway of his childhood home and was greeted by his niece and nephew running out the door. "Uncle Jay!" they screamed in unison, jumping into his arms as he got out of his truck.

"Hey Emma! Matty! What's up?" he asked, smiling. It was good to be home. He put the kids down and grabbed his bags from his truck, heading into the house, where he was greeted by his sister and dad, who were sitting on the couch watching a baseball game. As bad as it sounded, he was slightly relieved that his mom wasn't home yet and couldn't start the girlfriend interrogation. He settled in quickly, grabbing a beer from the fridge and joining his family on the couch.

A few hours later, Jay was in the middle of playing Headbandz with Emma and Matty when his mom came home. "Jay!" she gave him a hug and went into the kitchen to put down the grocery bags and he mentally prepared himself for the questions that were coming. He walked into the kitchen to help unload the bags and his mom wasted no time. "So you're here alone?" she asked, but before he could answer, there was a knock on the door.

"Jay! Someone's here for you!" he heard his dad call from the foyer. Confused, he walked out of the kitchen and was met with a familiar pair of hazel eyes.

"Er?" he tried to hide his surprise but failed miserably, pulling her in for a hug.

"I've been a pretty shitty partner lately. Plus, I owe ya one," she whispered in his ear. "Sorry I'm late, babe, I had to meet with a CI this morning for Voight," she said louder, so his mom could hear.

Mrs. Halstead looked away from the refrigerator where she was putting the groceries away and looked Erin up and down. "Jay, she's beautiful. How much did you pay her?" she joked, but became serious quickly. "Now introduce me to this gorgeous woman!"

"Erin, this is my mom. Mom, this is Erin, my-" Jay paused, unsure of what to call her.

"His girlfriend." Erin finished for him, and Jay beamed.

"Erin? Jay talks about you every time he calls! But he never told me you were his girlfriend! I was getting worried." She chuckled, and Jay turned bright red.

"Oh, he talks about me all the time?" Erin smirked and raised her eyebrow at Jay, who shook his head.

"Let's bring your bag upstairs," he told her, taking her hand.

They walked into Jay's childhood room and he shut the door behind them, looking at Erin for an explanation.

"I just figured I owed you one because of my high school reunion, you know? You made it a little obvious how much you were dreading telling your mom you were still single, and I didn't feel like being assigned a new partner today anyway," Erin explained.

Jay smiled. "What about Kelly?"

"What about him?" Erin shrugged and Jay raised his eyebrow. "We broke up. That's what I called to tell you when I realized I forgot about the wedding. Hence me being a shitty partner way too caught up in my own problems."

Jay tried to hide his smile when Erin said she and Kelly broke up, but his lips curved upward anyway. "Er, you're definitely not a shitty partner. You spent your morning driving to surprise me in Wisconsin. You HATE Wisconsin."

She shrugged. "But my partner needed me." 'If you only knew how much', Jay thought.

"Well let's go back downstairs so you can meet the rest of my crazy family. Prepare yourself," Jay warned, opening the door and leading them back downstairs.

xoxoxoxo

"Erin, come on! The limo to dinner is leaving in ten minutes!" Jay banged on the bathroom door.

"Give me thirty seconds!" Erin yelled from inside the bathroom, where she was finishing pinning up her hair. She couldn't see Jay, but she knew he had just rolled his eyes.

Finally, the door opened and Erin stepped out, causing Jay to gasp. "Wow," he choked out. His partner looked beautiful, in a tight teal dress that brought out her eyes and showed of her amazing figure.

"Put your tongue back in your mouth, Halstead," she joked, punching him on the shoulder and walking past him, down the stairs. He just shook his head. Pretending to be Erin Lindsay's boyfriend was going to be the death of him.

xoxoxoxo

Jay stood in the doorway of the restaurant, watching Erin as she played a game on her phone with Emma and Matty. Emma must have said something funny, because Erin threw her head back and laughed and the little girl beamed. Jay's heart swelled in his chest and he had to remind himself that they were only pretend-dating.

"She's a keeper." Jay heard a voice behind him and turned to see his brother standing next to him, catching him staring.

Jay nodded. "You're telling me."

"How'd you meet?" Will questioned.

"Work. She's my partner in Intelligence." Jay explained shortly, not wanting to go too far into detail. Knowing Erin, he thought she'd have an entirely different story drawn up in her mind and he didn't want anyone to question their relationship. As if she had heard them, Erin came walking over to Jay and put her arm around him.

"Talking about me?" she raised her eyebrow jokingly.

"Just letting my little brother here know he hit the jackpot. Seriously, I've never seen him so happy," Will told her, causing Erin to blush. She felt Jay pull her closer and smiled.

"Trust me, I'm the lucky one." She smiled up at Jay, and his heart ached when he remembered she was acting.

xoxoxoxo

The rest of the rehearsal dinner had gone by smoothly, with Erin winning the heart of every relative she met and Erin and his mom ganging up on him every chance they got. As much as he wanted to be mad, one look into Erin's shining eyes or at her dimples, and he was reminded of why he could never stay mad at her.

Erin fell asleep in the limo on the way home from the restaurant with her head resting on Jay's shoulder and a sleeping Emma on her lap. Jay looked down at two of the most important girls in his life and sighed. He wished more than anything that this weekend was real, but he knew Erin was hurting after breaking up with Kelly and she just felt like she needed to pay him back for her high school reunion.

They pulled up to the house and Jay woke Erin and Emma up. "Uncle Jay, can you carry me to my room?" Emma asked, rubbing her eyes.

"Of course, peanut." He answered, lifting the little girl off of Erin's lap and bringing her into the house.

"Are you going to marry Erin?" Emma whispered in his ear once they got to her bed.

"What? Emma-" Jay didn't know how to respond to the little girl.

"Because she's prettier than a princess and I want her to be my aunt." Emma said simply, before rolling away from Jay and closing her eyes. "Goodnight, Uncle Jay."

Jay just shook his head. "Goodnight, Em." He shut the lights off and walked into his room, where Erin was going through her suitcase. She pulled out a pair of pajamas and walked over to Jay.

"Unzip me?" she asked him, and shuddered when his hand touched her back and chills ran through her body. She quickly got changed and went into the bathroom to take her makeup off. She looked at herself long and hard in the mirror and she had to admit; she looked happier than she had in a long time. It had to be because she had finally broken up with Kelly, right? She didn't have feelings for Jay. She _couldn't,_ she told herself. He was her partner and Voight had strict rules against that. She sighed and went back into Jay's room, where he was laying in bed and crawled in next to him.

"You better not be a cover-hog, Halstead," she said, smirking at him.

Her voice broke him away from his thoughts and he rolled over to face her. "Stay on your side of the bed, Lindsay," he warned playfully. She jokingly tore some overs off of him, then rolled onto her back and quickly fell asleep. Jay watched as her breathing evened out, then tried to get some sleep himself.

xoxoxoxo

Jay woke up the next morning to find his body entangled in Erin's in the middle of the bed and all of the blankets on the floor. As if on cue, Erin picked her head up and looked around. She made a face at Jay and began to laugh, "Well, I guess we both lost. Neither of us can stay on our sides or keep covers on."

Jay just shook his head. "I guess we're not good at following rules,"

Erin immediately knew where he was going with this conversation. "Jay-" she started.

"I know. We can't," he sighed, getting up and leaving the room to shower. Erin groaned and silently prayed he wouldn't have an attitude all day now. Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door and Emma and Matty walking into the room, both carrying blankets and stuffed animals.

"Everyone here wakes up so early!" Matty whined, climbing onto the bed with Erin.

Emma followed her twin brother, "Because Uncle Will is getting married today!"

Erin laughed at the disheveled kids who were now cuddled at her sides. "Well, good morning to you guys too," she said as Emma grabbed her phone to reopen the game of Candy Crush they had been playing last night.

"Where's uncle Jay?" Matty asked.

"He's in the shower-" Erin began to say, as the door to the bedroom opened and Jay walked back in. "Just kidding, he's right here," she looked up, smiling at him.

Any ounce of annoyance Jay had from their previous conversation melted away the second he saw Erin's dimples and his niece and nephew laying at her sides.

xoxoxoxo

Jay felt like he had déjà vu as he banged on the bathroom door again, this time because they were about to be late to the wedding where he was the best man. "Erin! We need to leave!"

"Thirty seconds!" she promised, putting on her final coats of lip gloss and mascara.

She swung the door open and once again Jay gasped. "You are killing me," he told his partner, who walked out of the bathroom in a tight black strapless gown.

She just rolled her eyes and took his hand. "You don't look too bad yourself. Let's go, we're gonna be late, remember?" she laughed at his eye roll and led him down the stairs.

xoxoxoxo

"Dance with me." Erin walked over to Jay and pulled him out of his chair.

"Er, I don't dance." He told her, but he was already being pulled towards the dance floor.

"Come onnnn. This is my favorite song," she begged, as _Cop Car_ by Keith Urban came blasting from the DJ booth. They made it to the dance floor and she threw her arms around his neck and he pulled her close. No one could deny how well their bodies fit together.

"I never did thank you for coming. You've made this weekend so much easier." Jay began, looking down at her.

"Don't mention it. This is the only place I could imagine myself right now." Erin smiled, looking back up into his blue eyes. The thought of normally being stuck in the back booth at Molly's with Kelly right now made her sick. She felt Jay's body tense up. "Are you okay?" she asked, noticing how his eyes had darkened. She turned her head to see what he was staring at.

A beautiful woman had just walked onto the dance floor and was staring at Jay with equally dark eyes. "Jay?" Erin tried again to get his attention before it clicked. That had to be Allie. Erin had never met her, but she'd heard plenty of stories. Jay and Allie had tried to get back together a few months ago and it hadn't gone well. Erin could feel the pain in Jay's eyes and without thinking, she pressed her lips to his.

Jay was shocked when he felt Erin's lips against his, but he quickly kissed her back. Nothing had ever felt so right and he quickly forgot the stare down he was having with Allie. Erin deepened the kiss and opened her mouth, allowing Jay better access. They kissed until neither could breathe and Erin pulled back.

"Wow." Jay gasped. Erin didn't say a word; she just took his hand and led him off the dance floor and into an empty hallway.

"Was that Allie?" she asked, looking deep into his eyes. She had no idea why she suddenly felt jealous and territorial, Jay wasn't even hers.

Jay nodded. So that was why. "Tell me that's not the only reason you just did that." He prayed he was wrong.

Erin bit her lip. "It was. At first." She looked around, trying to find words. "But she's not out here now, and I would do it all over again."

Jay beamed. "As much as I would love that, maybe we should talk?"

Erin sighed. "When we get back tonight. You know this is going to be a heavy conversation and I don't want to ruin this wedding. We're having so much fun."

Jay sighed right back. "Right." Heavy conversation. That didn't sound fun at all, especially because Jay knew how it was going to end.

Erin cupped Jay's cheek in her hand. "We'll figure it out. But for now," she took her hand off his face and used it to pull his tie to pull his face down to hers, "let's go, _boyfriend_ ," she planted a soft kiss on his lips and led him back out to the dance floor, leaving him shaking his head. Only Erin Lindsay, he thought.

xoxoxoxo

Jay sat on his bed and waited for Erin to come out of the bathroom. His hands were shaking and he was terrified of where this conversation was going to go. Erin walked into the room and Jay started to make room for her, but she sat right down on his lap, surprising him.

"Where do we start?" she asked quietly.

"Er, I don't really know what there is to talk about." Jay started. "I like you, hell, I love you. And I hope you like me. And I think that should be enough for us to try and figure this out."

"God, Jay. I hate that you're even questioning if I like you. I'm sorry I ran from it for so long, but tonight, the thought of Allie ever having you made me sick. I could only imagine what Kelly and I did to you, and I'm so sorry. I didn't even realize-" Tears began to fall from her eyes and Jay wiped them away.

"What are you saying, Erin?" He asked sternly, trying to redirect her rambling.

"I don't know, Jay. I guess I'm saying I like you. A lot. And I just realized it, and it scares the living hell out of me." She looked so honest and vulnerable in that moment and Jay fell in love with her even more.

"So what are we going to do about it?" He was terrified to hear this answer.

Erin leaned forward and passionately kissed his lips. "This," she whispered. She kissed him for a moment before pulling back, "And I guess I have to call Hank in the morning."

Jay smiled so big that Erin thought his cheeks were going to break. He lay down, pulling her on top of him. "Don't you dare leave my side of the bed tonight, Lindsay," he said, kissing the top of her head.


	2. Chapter 2

Sooo this was going to be a one-shot, but your reviews were all so nice I decided to keep going, but I had no idea where to go with it so don't hate me, I hope you like it! Thank you all for reading and for your sweet reviews!

Disclaimer: I don't own Chicago PD or any characters involved; all rights to Dick Wolf & NBC

xo :)

Erin woke up and smiled when she felt Jay's arm wrapped around her. She couldn't believe how much her life had changed in the past 48 hours, but she couldn't be happier. She rolled onto her side and looked at her sleeping… partner? Boyfriend? They had gotten far too busy with other things to figure out labels last night. Like he knew she was staring, his blue eyes popped open.

"What are you looking at, Lindsay?" he joked, smiling.

She crinkled her forehead and pretended to look confused. "You're not Kelly," she tried to keep a straight face, but burst out laughing.

Jay shook his head and sat up, throwing himself on top of her. "You're gonna pay for that," he whispered in her ear, before playfully starting to wrestle her.

Erin shrieked and tried to push him off of her, eventually giving up as the wrestling match turned into Jay peppering soft kisses all over her body. They were interrupted by a knock on the door. "Uncle Jay? Erin? Breakfast is ready," a small voice called in.

Erin's eyes widened and she frantically reached for her shirt, pulling it over her head and sitting up as Emma walked into the room.

"Thanks, Em. We'll meet you down there." Jay told the little girl, shooing her out. When the door was shut again, they both broke out laughing. "Close one."

Erin gave Jay one last kiss and got out of bed, heading into the bathroom to get ready for the day. Jay watched her walk out of the room and just shook his head. How had he gotten so lucky?

xoxoxoxo

Erin stood on Jay's front porch, her hands shaking. She looked down at the cellphone in her hands and knew what she had to do. She dialed Hank's number and let out a shaky breath.

The phone call went nothing like Erin had imagined. She knew Hank would be mad, but she didn't realize just how mad. He was _mad_ when Erin had thrown a basketball at Justin and broken his wrist. He was _mad_ when 17-year-old Erin was overdosing in his bathtub. He was _mad_ when he caught Erin sneaking out to go to parties every Saturday night. But this? Erin had never heard such fire in her pseudo-father's voice.

Erin walked back into Jay's house and tried to hide her tears as she darted past his entire family and ran upstairs to Jay's room, where he sat waiting for her. He looked up when he heard the door open, and his heart dropped. "Er? What's wrong?"

Erin just shook her head and collapsed on his lap. She couldn't form words. She just balled his shirt up in her fists and sobbed into his chest, shaking her head.

Jay stroked Erin's head and waited for her to calm down. "Er. What did he say?" he asked again.

"He-" Erin choked, "He said-"

"Erin," Jay lifted her chin so she was looking into his eyes.

"He said he's transferring you out of Intelligence," she told him, and the tears fell all over again.

Jay felt like he was going to be sick as he looked at the broken girl in his arms. He couldn't believe the words that had just come out of her mouth. "That's fine-" he began, before he even knew what he was saying.

Erin sat up. "Are you kidding me?" she spat. "That is NOT fine, Jay. Intelligence is everything you have ever worked for and this isn't worth it being taken away for!" Now she was angry. Not only at Hank for putting them in this situation, but also at Jay for accepting it so easily.

"No, Er. You're worth it. I'll be happy anywhere in the CPD, especially knowing I have you to come home to." He reached for Erin's hand but she pulled away.

"You are unbelievable. I can't believe you would give up that easily." And with that, she grabbed her bags and ran out of Jay's house.

By the time Jay could process what had just happened, he ran outside and saw Erin's car driving down the street, already on her way back to Chicago.

xoxoxoxo

Erin got back to Illinois in record time, despite the tears that burned her eyes the entire drive. She looked at her phone, 7 missed calls and 12 unread messages from Jay. That just made her cry even harder. What had she just done? She was so scared to have such strong feelings for Jay that she'd taken all of her anger towards Hank out on him. She'd just ruined the best thing she ever had before it even started. At least now no one had to leave Intelligence.

xoxoxoxo

Erin pulled up to the district Monday morning and sighed. It was 7 am and she already knew that this was going to be the worst day of her life. She walked inside and right up the stairs to the bullpen, ignoring Platt and everyone else saying hi to her. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that she was the first one there, besides Voight, who was in his office. Erin walked into the office, knocking on the door but not pausing to wait for permission to enter.

"Lindsay." Her boss looked up from his computer.

"You don't have to transfer out Halstead." She told him, not offering any explanation.

She could've sworn she saw Voight smile, but she didn't have the strength to fight with him over it. "Glad to hear it," He told her, motioning for her to get out of his office.

She left the office and went into the break room to get a cup of coffee, cringing when she saw the time and realized that the rest of the unit would be arriving soon. She took her mug back to her desk and sat down, immediately trying to look busy organizing her CI files, when she heard that laugh. _How could he be laughing?, s_ he thought, _She was breaking._ But then she remembered that this was all her fault and no one deserved to be happy more than Jay. She kept her eyes glued on her files as she heard him walk past her desk and sit at his desk, which was conveniently across from hers.

After what seemed like years passed, Voight finally came out of his office to give the team a briefing. "Lindsay, Halstead. My favorite _partners._ Go sit on the house." He ordered before leaving the bullpen with Olinsky. Erin cringed as he emphasized the word 'partners', then took a deep breath and headed into the locker room to get her things.

xoxoxoxo

"Erin, it's been two hours of silence. Can we talk about this?" Jay begged, shifting in his seat. She looked so broken; her eyes were puffy and red with dark bags underneath that he figured were from lack of sleep last night. All he wanted to do we hug her.

"What's there to say, Jay?" She said icily.

"Why are you shutting me out like this? I thought you wanted to be with me, you said so on Saturday night-"

"You don't get it, do you? It's so different for me!"

"No, Erin. I don't get it. I don't think it's that much different for you," Jay's confusion and concern suddenly turned to anger. "Because I'm in love with you just as much as you're in love with me, whether you want to admit it or not. And I'm the one who's job is on the line here, you know Voight isn't going to do anything to his best detective, who just happens to be his precious daughter. So if anyone should have run away, it should've been me."

The coldness of his words shocked Erin, but she couldn't even be mad at him. Every word he said was 100% true. "We should go. I don't think this is the right house." She turned her attention back to work and they drove to the district in silence once again.

The rest of the day was just as awkward as the morning had been, but they had solved the case and Ruzek was buying rounds at Molly's to celebrate.

"Linds, you coming?" He asked as Erin was putting her coat on, getting ready to leave. She knew Jay would want to go, so she muttered some bullshit excuse about babysitting Justin's kid and ran out the door.

xoxoxoxo

Hours later, she lay in her bed tossing and turning. She couldn't sleep, she just kept replaying her and Jay's conversation from earlier over and over in her head. Her thoughts were interrupted by her phone ringing and she jumped. She looked at the clock, 1:34 am and her heart stopped. Something wasn't right. She checked the caller ID on her phone – Ruzek.

"Hello?" she answered, confused.

"What are you doing right now?" He asked hurriedly.

"Nothing… Ruzek, what's wrong? You're freaking me out,"

"You need to come to Molly's and get Jay. He's had way too many but he won't leave with anyone but you." Ruzek told her.

Erin sighed. "I'll be right there." She grabbed a sweatshirt and her keys and ran to her car, getting to Molly's in ten minutes. She walked through the door and quickly spotted her unit. Everyone was standing around Jay, who was sitting at a booth with his head in his hands. She walked up to them and placed a hand on Jay's shoulder. "Hey, let's go," she said softly as he picked his head up.

"Erin," he said slowly. "You came." He tried to stand up but couldn't support himself, so Erin threw his hand around her shoulders and held his waist.

"Yeah, let's go. Thanks for calling, Ruzek" She said goodbye to the team then helped him walk out to her car and got him into the passenger seat. She then began driving them both back to her apartment, knowing there was no way she could leave him alone tonight.

She was able to get Jay into her apartment and laid him down in her bed, stroking his hair.

"Er," he whispered, looking up at her.

"Don't say anything you'll regret in the morning. Just go to sleep," she whispered back.

"I called Voight tonight. When Ruzek was on the phone with you," he told her.

"You _what!?"_ she ripped her hand away from his head. "Jay-"

"I told him that I loved you and that being your partner was the best thing that's ever happened to me. And I told him how much you respected him and everything that happened this weekend. Then I reminded him of all the times that I've had your back and all the times that you've had mine. He said it himself today, we're the best partners. And he'd be stupid to ruin it, and I told him that." He suddenly sounded sober, and Erin's jaw dropped.

"What did he say, Jay?" Her eyes filled with tears at the thought of Voight actually transferring Jay out of Intelligence. That was what she had been trying to avoid by all of this.

"He said okay."

"Okay?" Erin stared at him. "Okay, _what,_ Jay?"

"That it was okay if I do this." He used all of his strength to sit up and crash his lips against Erin's. She was shocked at first, but she kissed him back. She was still crying, but her tears had turned to tears of happiness. No one had ever stood up to Hank Voight for her before, especially someone with this much to lose.

"I love you." She choked out once she pulled away from the kiss.

"I love you more. Now come here, cover-hog," Jay pulled Erin on top of him and passed out. Suddenly exhausted from the alcohol and the events of the past five minutes.


	3. Chapter 3

thank you for all the sweet reviews, please keep them coming! & a special thank you to NALEY23always forever for the idea about sunday dinner at voight's! enjoy chapter 3!

xo :)

Jay woke up the next morning with a pounding in his head and the smell of coffee brewing. Groaning, he opened his eyes to an unfamiliar apartment and looked around. He was in the strange bed alone with all of his clothes on, which he assumed was a good sign, having no recollection of the night before. He turned to his side and a picture on the nightstand caught his eye – a picture of Erin. "Fuck," he muttered, shooting out of bed.

He found his partner sitting at her kitchen counter, doing something on her phone and sipping a cup of coffee. She didn't hear him coming and jumped when he started speaking. "Erin, whatever happened last night, I am so sorry-"

Erin raised her eyebrow. "You don't remember?" She tried to hide her smile but burst out laughing.

"This isn't funny! What did I do!?" Jay began to panic.

Erin decided to have some fun with this. "You called Voight." She told him, offering no further explanation.

"You're lying."

Erin snorted. "I'm not." She said, her smile wider than ever.

"And this is funny because…? What did I say?" Jay's heart was pounding.

"Apparently you confessed your love for me," Erin finally stood up from the counter and got a bottle of water from the fridge, walking over to hand it to Jay who was still standing by the doorway, frozen in fear.

"Erin…" He suddenly felt like he was going to throw up, and it definitely wasn't from the hangover.

"Would you calm down?" She finally reached him and handed him the bottle of water, taking his other hand in hers. "Apparently you are also are _very_ convincing."

"What are you saying?"

Erin didn't answer; instead she stood on her toes and gave him a soft kiss. "I don't know what you said," she whispered to him, "but whatever it was, it worked,"

Jay was too shocked to kiss her back; he just stood there, dumbfounded. "I… I got Voight's approval?"

"I mean, if you don't believe me…" Erin smirked and began to walk away, but Jay grabbed her hand.

"Oh, I'm taking your word for this one." He told her, leading her back to the bedroom.

xoxoxoxo

Their first week in Intelligence as a couple went smoothly, aside from them being late to work that first morning. They had proved to Hank that they could keep it professional at work, even though their co-workers sly comments made it hard sometimes.

On Wednesday night, they had walked into Molly's holding hands and the unit erupted in hoots and screams of _"I told you so!"_ and _"I won the bet!"_ Atwater showed Jay a piece of paper containing the bet that the unit had placed on their relationship status and he just shook his head. He wanted to be mad, but he still felt like he was floating on cloud nine.

"It's about damn time, man," Antonio had told him, slapping him on the back.

Jay laughed and shook his head. "How long has this bet been going on?"

"Hmm… how long have you been partners?" Jay rolled his eyes. "Okay, maybe it was that time you laid that guy out for just looking at her. Or maybe, it was the look in your eyes that time she went in undercover as a couple with Ruzek. Or maybe-"

"Okay, okay. I get it," Jay looked up at Erin, who was across the bar laughing at something Burgess had said. "But can you blame me?"

Antonio shook his head. " _That,"_ he pointed to Erin, "is like my little sister. Watch yourself. But for what it's worth, you're both pretty lucky."

Jay nodded and made his way across the bar to his girl. She felt his hands on her hips and turned to face him. "Hey, you."

One look into her shining eyes and Jay was gone. "Let's get out of here," he whispered, pulling her into him.

"Oh, definitely." Erin took his hand and led him out of the bar, leaving the whole unit behind just shaking their heads and still wondering what had taken them so long.

xoxoxoxo

"Jay!" Erin banged on his apartment door. "Come on, we're gonna be late!"

The door opened and Jay stood there, still in sweats. "Oh, how the tables have turned. Remember that time we were almost late to my brother's wedding because _someone_ needed a tenth coat of lip gloss?" He smirked as she pushed past him into his apartment.

"You are NOT wearing those." She ignored his joke and looked him up and down.

"Er, do I have to go?" He suddenly sounded like a scared little kid and Erin realized what the problem was.

"Jay," she walked back over to him and cupped her hand around his cheek, "It's just my family. You see Voight everyday." Her voice got softer as she looked into his eyes.

"But I've never seen him outside of the district as your _boyfriend,"_ he almost choked over the last word. "And Justin hates me."

Erin sighed, "Look, I know Voight can be intimidating. But I promise, he only wants what's best for me. And deep down, he knows that it's you. You're what's best for me," she gave him a soft kiss, "And Justin is just gonna have to deal with that too," she pulled him into a hug and felt his rapid heartbeat against her chest.

Jay melted into Erin's hug and squeezed her tight, not wanting to let go. He felt so safe there with her and he knew that in a half hour he would be in a room with two men who probably wanted to kill him more than half of the criminals he caught at work.

Erin pulled away and looked into his eyes again. "Calm down. And go put on jeans." She playfully pushed him away and he reluctantly went into his bedroom to change.

The car ride there was silent, with Erin driving but keeping a hand on Jay's leg the whole time. When they pulled into Voight's driveway, she turned to look at him. "You can do this. I got you." She reassured him before getting out of the car.

Jay's hand shook as he reached up to knock on Voight's door. A little boy came padding down the hall to answer it and Erin reached down to pick him up. "Hey buddy!" she gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Jay, this is my nephew, Daniel. Daniel, this is my boyfriend, Jay."

Jay's fears suddenly diminished when he heard Erin use the b-word and he smiled. "Hi, Daniel," he waved to the little boy in Erin's arms as she led them inside.

They entered the kitchen where Voight, Justin, and Olive were sitting at the table and Erin put Daniel down.

"Hey, kid." Hank stood up to give her a hug. "Halstead," he held out his hand.

"Hi, Sarge," Jay shook his hand.

"Call me Hank. Sit down, I'll get you a beer." He motioned to the table, where Erin was already sitting next to Olive and she smiled at him reassuringly.

They all made small talk while dinner was in the oven and Jay had begun to feel comfortable. Hank, Justin, and Erin shared stories of Camille and Hank and Justin threw in embarrassing stories about Erin every chance they got.

"Er, remember that one time you got in trouble for passing a note to your boyfriend in class and your teacher made you read it out loud?" Justin was laughing so hard he could barely get the question out.

Erin turned bright red and almost choked on her wine and Hank started to crack up.

"Wait, I gotta hear this one! What did the note say?" Jay smiled, looking at Erin who was squirming in her seat.

Erin glared at him and kicked him under the table.

"Oh, no, it's not what the note said. Although that was funny – mushy high school love shit - but ask her about the punishment," Justin had tears rolling down his face.

"I had to stay after school and help sweep my teacher's classroom," Erin said matter-of-factly.

"And?" Hank asked, still laughing. Jay raised his eyebrows.

Justin couldn't wait any longer for her to finish the story. "And she used the broom as a microphone and put on a concert that her teacher and principal walked in on,"

Erin groaned as everyone else at the table cackled, including Jay. Every time he looked at her he just laughed harder, picturing a young Erin Lindsay getting caught jamming out to the Spice Girls.

Erin looked around the table and couldn't help but smile. At least all of her men were bonding. "You're all dead to me," she joked, getting up to take the lasagna out of the oven.

Once dinner was served, the conversation had moved away from Erin's childhood to work, the weather, and everything in between. Voight, Justin, and Jay were getting along well and Erin couldn't have been happier.

After dinner, Erin and Olive cleared the table while all of the boys went into the living room to catch the end of the Blackhawks game.

"You look happy," Olive said to Erin as she loaded the dishwasher.

Erin nodded. "I am," She honestly couldn't wipe the smile off of her face.

When Erin walked into the living room, Jay and Justin were screaming at the TV about a bad call while Daniel sat on Jay's lap, causing her to smile even wider.

"Hey, you took my spot," she jokingly said to Daniel as she sat down next to them. Hank cleared his throat and Erin rolled her eyes and rested her head on Jay's shoulder. They all watched the rest of the game, with Jay and Justin screaming at every bad call and high-fiving every time the Blackhawks scored.

By the time the game ended, Daniel had fallen asleep on Jay's lap. Olive told Justin they should get him home and Justin walked over to Jay to get his son. As he bent down to pick up the sleeping child, he whispered in Jay's ear. "I really want to hate you, but I've never seen her this happy. Keep it up."

Jay beamed. "Always," he nodded.

xoxoxoxo

Erin pulled into the parking lot of Jay's apartment and leaned over to kiss him goodbye before he got out of the car.

"That was fun," he told her, surprising himself. "Thanks for dragging me,"

"I told you Hank wasn't so bad. And besides, I think I took all of the heat off of you," she shook her head; still replaying the awful memories of the concert she'd had in her English classroom.

Jay burst out laughing all over again. "I gotta ask though. What did the note say?"

Erin raised her eyebrow. "Why do you care so much?" she questioned.

"Just curious. I can't really picture Erin Lindsay being 'mushy,'" he said, making air-quotes with his hands to mock Justin.

"Hmmm… well I think it said, _I love you sooo much and I can't wait for tonight._ Ooh, I bet it had a winky face too," she bit her lip, "That – after my concert, anyway – was a good night. Over ten years ago and it still stands out," she pretended to remember, a smirk on her face.

"Okay, okay, okay-" Jay cut her off, the thought of Erin and another man, even if it was in high school, was not something he wanted to think about.

"Aw, what's wrong? Too far?" she couldn't wipe the smirk off of her face as Jay shook his head.

"Little bit. And because of that-" he reached across her and pulled her keys out of the ignition. "I'm kidnapping you tonight and I'm going to give you a new night to stand out, Lindsay."

"Easy, Halstead. Kidnapping me would be against my will," she leaned across the console and rested her forehead against his, "And I don't think I'm gonna fight you on this one." She said, roughly pressing her lips to his.


	4. Chapter 4

i had no idea what to do for this chapter so here ya go, enjoy!

still don't own any of the characters of Chicago PD or any of the music/lyrics i use!

***flashback is in italics!

xo :)

Jay shivered as a breeze blew through his open window and he looked over at Erin, who was still asleep, wrapped in every blanket from his bed. He shook his head, thinking of the first night he and Erin had shared a bed and she was worried about _him_ being a cover-hog. He reached over and tried to pull a blanket out from underneath her and she reached her hand up to punch him without even opening her eyes. She made contact with his shoulder but he grabbed her arm and pulled her over to him, causing her to finally open her eyes.

"What do you want, Halstead?" she whined, trying to sound annoyed.

"Good morning to you too, sunshine," he said, laughing.

Erin groaned and turned over to look at the clock. "We still have an hour til we have to get ready for work, why are you awake? I didn't tire you out last night?" she turned back to him and raised her eyebrow.

"Nope, better luck next time," Jay smirked as she rolled her eyes, "and I was _trying_ to sleep but woke up freezing since someone stole all the covers,"

"Keep it up and there won't be a next time," Erin smiled sweetly to mock Jay and sat up to pull the blankets out from under her. She curled her body into Jay's and laid the blankets over both of them. "Better?" she mumbled into his bare chest.

"Much," he pressed a kiss into her head and they both fell back asleep until his alarm went off, blasting _Mean to Me_ by Brett Eldredge.

Erin groaned again, "It's too early for country music, Jay-" she began to complain as she realized what song it was.

Jay smiled as she shut up. "You remember?"

Erin sat up and her eyes met his, "Of course," she whispered, leaning in to crash her lips against his.

 _Erin and Jay sat across from each other at a tiny restaurant in downtown Chicago after deciding to ditch Erin's high school reunion. Erin had just begun to tell Jay another story about Hank when Jay interrupted her._

" _You hear this song?" he asked, as Mean to Me began to play in the restaurant._

" _Well I'm not deaf, so yes," she smirked._

 _Jay rolled his eyes. "This came on in Molly's the first night I met you, when Antonio brought me to Molly's to meet the unit. Listen to the chorus."_

\- Standing here,  
Watching you,  
Turning every head in this crowded room -

 _"You were the first thing I saw when I walked into that bar that night. I almost died when Antonio told me you were going to be my partner. Did you ever realize how almost every man in the bar stops and stare as you walk by? You're so damn beautiful, Er. It kills me that you don't see it sometimes."_

 _Erin blushed, "Jay, stop. Where is this coming from?"_

" _It came on the radio again the first time I got in the car with you, when we were on my first stakeout," he explained. "You were on the phone with Bunny and getting so mad. Like so mad your right eye started doing that twitching thing that it only usually does when you're about to punch a perp during interrogation-"_

" _Do you stare at me a lot, Halstead?" Erin asked, trying to lighten the mood, trying not to allow herself to feel anything for Jay._

 _He brushed her off, "And when I saw how much she bothered you, I told myself that I would never let anyone hurt you. You're so tough, Er, and your eyes looked so sad when you were on the phone with her. It hurt me to see you unhappy, even if it was just for a two-minute phone conversation. And I guess that's when I realized just how much you meant to me. When a song on the radio suddenly began to explain my whole life about a girl who I'd only known for 3 days, that's when I knew I was in trouble." He grabbed her hand across the table._

 _Erin tried to fight it, but her fingers intertwined with his. She smiled up at him, but shook her head. "Jay, we can't,"_

 _He nodded, "I just needed you to know. Now come on, let's get you home,"_

"We've come a long way. I love you, ya know. Even if you do stare at me a lot," she said as she pulled back from their kiss.

"I love you too. Even if you can't take a compliment," Jay told her, reaching to grab Erin's arm as she began to get out of bed. She pulled away and shook her head.

"We can't be late to work again!" she seductively pulled Jay's t-shirt off of her body and let her lacy underwear drop to the floor, winking at him as she walked into the bathroom and closed the door.

"You're such a tease, Lindsay!" he yelled, shaking his head.

"Bite me, Halstead!" The shower turned on and he heard Erin cackle.

Jay groaned as he got out of bed to start a pot of coffee. His phone started to ring as soon as he got in the kitchen. "Halstead," he answered.

"Halstead, it's Voight. We just got a huge case but I need you to go undercover and I don't know how long it will take," the Sergeant's gravelly voice explained.

"Sounds good boss. I'll pack enough for a few days, just in case,"

"Uh," Voight hesitated, "Halstead. I don't know how to say this, but this could take weeks. Months, even."

Jay's heart stopped. "What about Erin?"

Voight sighed, "I'll take care of her. I'm sorry, Jay. You need to be at the district in a half hour," he ordered, hanging up the phone.


	5. Chapter 5

Jay's phone fell from his hand and landed with a bang on the kitchen counter. He felt like his heart was physically breaking in his chest and he knew it was about to get worse because he had to go break the news to Erin. He walked over to the bathroom door and knocked softly, "Er?" he called in.

"I already told you no!" she called out playfully.

"Erin, I have to tell you something," he said urgently and Erin realized he wasn't joking around. He heard the water shut off and the bathroom door opened quickly, his heart dropping even more when he saw his beautiful girlfriend wrapped in a towel with concern written all over her face.

"Babe... what's wrong?"

"Voight just called-" Jay started and Erin quickly interrupted him.

"Oh my god, is he okay!?" she panicked.

"Calm down. He's fine. He called to tell me I'm going undercover," Erin raised her eyebrow, still not understanding the problem. They went undercover all the time; it was part of the job.

"Er, it could be for months,"

"What?" Erin's eyes immediately filled with tears. "Jay…"

"I don't even know what the case is. I need to meet Voight at the district-" he checked his watch, "in 20 minutes. I guess he's briefing me then I'm leaving…" Erin grabbed Jay and hugged him so tight she was sure he couldn't breathe, but she didn't care. Jay felt her tears through his shirt and kissed the top of her head, wishing more than anything he could wake up from this nightmare.

Erin pulled away and looked up at Jay with wide, bloodshot eyes, trying to find the words to say but coming up empty. "Come on, I'll help you pack," she took his hand and led him down the hall. When they got into Jay's room, she reached down to pick up his Blackhawks shirt that she'd been wearing as pajamas and folded it to put in his bag.

"Keep it," he told her, as he shoved random clothes into his duffel, not paying attention to anything but his girlfriend's face.

Erin tried to smile. "Thanks," she said solemnly, picking up her clothes from the night before and throwing them back on. "I'm coming to the district with you for the briefing," she informed him.

Jay wanted to fight her – he had no idea how dangerous this case was and he definitely didn't want her to find out any scary details that would make her worry more than she already was going to, but he wanted to spend as much time as possible with her, so he just nodded. "Of course,"

They drove to the district in silence, Erin's hands gripping the wheel so tight that her knuckles were white and Jay drumming nervously on the dashboard the whole ride. Not caring about keeping it professional, Erin grabbed Jay's hand the second they got out of the car and didn't let go as they made their way upstairs, where Voight and Olinsky were waiting for Jay.

Voight sighed as he saw the two of them walking up the stairs. He hated to do this to Erin, but he also knew that Jay was the best man for the job. "Alright, Halstead, we got a high volume drug operation based out of Austin. I don't need to remind you that it's the most dangerous neighborhood in Chicago. We have reason to believe that this operation is responsible for 80% of _all drugs_ on Chicago's streets – heroin, cocaine, prescription drugs – you name it. No one can pinpoint how many people are behind it, which is why I don't know how long you'll be down there. We believe the head of the operation is Gregory Ryan, so we got you an apartment in his complex. You are to act as a buyer and befriend as many of Ryan's clients as you can. Your name is Kyle Langston and you just got out of court-ordered rehab,"

Erin's head began to spin as she listened to Voight talk and she zoned out while he explained the rest of the plan, which was probably for the better. She had seen so many undercover busts go wrong and the thought of Jay being in that danger, especially living in Austin, for _months_ made her want to vomit.

Jay's voice broke her from her thoughts. "Hey, Er, anyone home?" he was waving his hand in her face. She tried to smile up at him but couldn't.

"Say goodbye then meet us in the garage. O will be dropping you off in a taxi," Voight explained, squeezing Erin's shoulder as he walked past her and out of the bullpen.

Erin looked up at Jay and just shook her heads, still at a loss for words. "Come here," he grabbed her and held her tight, "Voight's got a good plan. I'll be back for you soon, I promise," he mumbled into the top of her head, savoring the honey-scent of her hair that he was going to miss so much.

"Please be careful," she begged, her voice breaking.

"Always," he whispered, pulling out of the hug. He cupped her cheek and gave her a hard kiss. His heart broke even more when he tasted the saltwater from her tears. "I'll see you soon," he promised again.

"Soon," she repeated, squeezing his hand and walking him to the door. Jay gave her one final kiss then walked into the garage as Erin stood in the threshold, fighting back another round of tears.

She walked back to her desk and sat down, staring absently at the now empty desk across from hers. She heard footsteps coming up the stairs and turned to see Voight walking toward her. "He's gonna be fine, kid. Halstead is good police," her pseudo-father told her.

"I know," she said softly, trying to convince herself.

xoxoxoxo

The first three weeks following Jay's assignment were a blur for Erin. She buried herself in her work – she was always the first in the bullpen every morning and the last to leave every night. She had never filled out so much paperwork; she had even volunteered to do some of Ruzek and Atwater's when they left it all to the last minute. She logged in a ridiculous amount of hours at the shooting range and had even been helping teach a few classes at the academy.

Voight and the rest of the unit made it obvious that they were worried about her, always offering to let her go home early and begging her to join them at Molly's, but she never accepted. When she was working, her mind couldn't wander off to Jay but the second she had free time, her mind was gone. Voight wouldn't update her on the case, he and Olinsky were keeping it 100% confidential and she couldn't figure out if that was good or bad.

It was a Thursday night; 24 days after Jay had left. Voight was in his office and Erin and Ruzek were the last ones in the bullpen as Erin helped him finish his paperwork, as usual.

"Sign here and you're good," Erin said, sliding a pen towards the young officer and standing up to get her jacket from the locker room.

"Thanks, Linds," Ruzek picked up the pen and scribbled his name then followed Erin into the locker room. "Molly's? Burgess, Roman, and Atwater are already there," he asked.

Erin rolled her eyes. "You guys don't give up, do you?"

"Nope," Ruzek smiled proudly, "And I'm not taking no for an answer, Erin. You know Jay doesn't want you worrying about him, he's fine. If he was here, we'd all be at Molly's by now."

"But he's _not_ here, that's the thing, Ruzek," she snapped, slamming her locker and trying to leave the room.

Ruzek stepped in front of her before she could get anywhere. "You're coming."

Erin rolled her eyes but followed Ruzek out of the locker room. She figured she'd have a beer to shut them all up, and then she could go back to Jay's and curl up in his bed. She hadn't told anyone she'd been staying there but it was the only place she could feel his presence anymore.

"Lindsay!" Burgess ran up to her the second she and Ruzek entered Molly's and hugged her tight. "How are you holding up?"

Erin forced a smile. "I'm fine," she told her friend, quickly turning to search the bar for Gabby Dawson to get her a beer. The sooner she knocked one back, the sooner she could get out of there. She was just about to order from Gabby when her phone rang and Voight's name popped up on the screen.

She rolled her eyes, figuring he was just calling in to check on her. "Hank, I'm fine-" she began to answer.

"Erin, get the unit back up here now. Shots were fired at Jay's apartment complex. We have to move in," Erin's heart dropped. She screamed at the unit and ran out the door, the rest of the guys following.


	6. Chapter 6

Jay thought the operation itself was going well, but it was taking a toll on him – he felt absolutely awful - physically, mentally, and emotionally. Sleep was a foreign concept to him at this point; he spent every night in a different nightclub with his new "friends". He barely ate and had been to the gym once since he'd gone undercover. The only positive was that he had gotten a solid idea of how the drug ring was being operated and he figured he'd only need another day or so before he could call Voight to set up a bust.

But, God, he missed Erin. He hoped she was doing okay and that the unit was taking good care of her. Jay had been putting everything he had in this case and had lost track of how long he had been in Austin, but with every piece of information he collected he got more excited when he pictured Erin running out of the 300 for the bust when it finally came.

 _That Thursday…._

Jay met with the last dealer he had to and ran back to his apartment to try and finish putting the pieces of this complicated puzzle together. As he sat on the dirty, uncomfortable couch, he thought of the possibility of cuddling with Erin on her couch as soon as that night and smiled. When he was sure he had all of the information necessary to execute the plan, he left his apartment again and walked to the payphone down the block to call Voight. He dialed his boss' number and tapped his foot impatiently.

"Voight," the gravelly voice answered.

"Yo, man," Jay was talking fast, suddenly nervous someone was on to him, "I got the stuff. Meet me at the corner of Washington and 16th at midnight," he used the code words Voight had given him weeks ago.

"Copy that," the Sergeant hung up and Jay headed back inside, thankful for the confirmation that this would be his final night in Austin.

Like clockwork, his "friends" knocked on his door at 10:00 that night to go to the nightclub they'd chosen for that night. As they were leaving his building, Gregory Ryan turned the corner and pointed a gun to his head. "Hello, Detective," he said icily, an inhumane look in his eyes.

xoxoxoxo

Erin, Ruzek, and Atwater sprinted up to the bullpen, taking the stairs two at a time. By the time they got there, Voight was already dressed and threw vests at the detectives. "Hurry up and get dressed, we should've been there 10 minutes ago!" he barked.

Erin was shaking so hard she couldn't even get her vest on. _Get it together,_ she thought, _Jay needs you._ She steadied her hands and pulled the zipper up, then grabbed her keys and sprinted down to the 300.

She followed Voight and Olinsky and by the time they pulled up to Jay's apartment complex it was already surrounded by patrol cars.

Erin's heart stopped when she saw someone being put into an ambulance and she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw it wasn't Jay. "Where's Halstead?" she screamed into her radio.

"Calm down, Lindsay. Patrol reports that Ryan shot the two men who were with Halstead, but for whatever reason he is holding Halstead in the lobby. We have to move in NOW," Voight ordered.

Erin jumped out of the car, ignoring the fact that her legs felt like Jell-O. She grabbed the long gun from her trunk and met the rest of the unit at the door. "Olinsky and Ruzek, take the back. Atwater, Lindsay, and I will go in through the front. Lindsay, you stay back once we get inside," he ordered.

"Stay back? Are you out of your mind? My partner is in there with a gun to his head!" Erin countered and Hank grabbed the long gun from her hand.

"You're too emotionally involved. Stick with your shotgun and listen to me or you can watch from your car!" He barked, signaling for Atwater to move in.

"CHICAGO PD, DROP YOUR WEAPON!" Atwater screamed as he, Voight, and Lindsay ran into the building. The lobby of the apartment building was completely cleared of people except for the detectives and Ryan and there was broken glass and blood everywhere.

"You drop your weapon, or I shoot your detective!" Ryan ordered. He and Atwater began screaming at each other for what seemed like years as Erin immediately hid behind a column in the lobby trying to get a clear shot. Ryan clearly knew what he was doing; there was no angle she could take the shot from without risking hitting Jay.

Jay. She looked at her partner who was being held up by Ryan with a gun to his temple. She knew that he hadn't seen her yet; she had come into the lobby and immediately hidden from Ryan's sight to try and get the shot. She barely recognized her boyfriend – he looked awful, he was bleeding from the fight she assumed he'd put up and he had bags under his eyes that looked like he hadn't slept since he left. He was pale and he'd lost weight.

Jay had breathed a sign of relief when Atwater's voice rang out and Jay saw him and Voight run into the building. He knew the rest of the unit was probably coming around the back and he couldn't wait to see Erin…. if Gregory Ryan didn't blow his brains out first. He knew his chances of survival were plummeting by the second. Neither Ryan or his team was backing down, and he'd been part of enough bad busts to know that the criminal usually took the shot first, having nothing else to lose.

Erin was getting frustrated and Ryan was losing patience. He and Atwater were still screaming at each other and Erin had an awful feeling that he was going to shoot Jay at any minute. Voight clearly had no shot either and she had no idea where Olinsky and Ruzek were.

All of the sudden, an actual miracle happened – there was no other word to describe it. Olinsky literally appeared out of _nowhere_ , sneaking up behind Ryan and pointing a gun to his head. Erin's heart stopped in her chest and time started to move in slow motion.

"Wanna drop your gun now?" the older detective asked as Ryan froze. Jay took this moment to use what little strength he had to break free from the criminal and grab Ryan's gun from his hand.

Erin ran out from behind the column, tears of happiness streaming down her face. "Jay!" she screamed. He finally saw her and as their eyes met, tears ran down his face too.

"Lindsay, get him out of here!" Voight barked as he threw Ryan to the ground.

Erin nodded, suddenly so thankful Voight had made her stay back, and grabbed Jay's hand, pulling him outside into the 300. When they got in the car, his weak body collapsed into her arms. She held him tight, running her fingers through hair and kissing the top of his head. "Hey, it's over. You're safe," she whispered.

"I missed you so much," his hoarse voice mumbled into her chest.

"Thank you for coming back to me," Erin leaned back and put a finger under Jay's chin to force him to look up and meet her eyes.

"Always," he whispered, finally smiling. God, she missed that smile. She leaned forward again and captured his lips in the most perfect kiss she'd ever had.

They were interrupted by Voight knocking on the window of the 300, and they both burst out laughing like two teenagers who had been caught by their parents. Erin rolled down the window expecting to get scolded, but Voight was… smiling?

"You good, Halstead?" the Sergeant asked.

Jay nodded. "Yes sir. Glad to be out of there."

"Nice work. That went nothing like we planned, but we got him and he gave everything up." Voight reached through the window and patted Jay on the back. "Get him home, Lindsay. And you're both taking tomorrow off."

Erin smiled at her father figure. "Thank you," she mouthed before driving off. She pulled into the parking lot of Jay's apartment and he shook his head.

"Can we go to your place? I need your couch,"

Erin raised her eyebrow and gave him a suspicious look, but didn't question it. "Of course," she took one hand of the wheel and squeezed his leg as she turned around and drove to her apartment.

She parked her car and they got out, slowly making their way up to her apartment. As soon as Erin unlocked the door, Jay made a beeline for the couch. "Er, come here," he mumbled tiredly.

"You good?" she asked, walking back down the hallway and sitting down next to him.

He sat up and moved her closer to him, then pulled her down on top of him. Both of their bodies sank into each other on the _clean,_ warm, comfortable couch. She buried her head in his neck and he didn't need to look down to see she was smiling her first real smile in 24 days. "I am now," he answered, burying his nose in her hair and inhaling the scent of honey that he'd missed so much.


	7. Chapter 7

"Jay," Erin whispered, trying to wake up her boyfriend who was in a deep sleep. They had both fallen asleep cuddled on her couch but now it was 2:58 a.m. and her back was killing her. "Come to bed." She rolled herself off of him and stood up to make her way to her bedroom as Jay reached his arm out and grabbed her hand.

"Don't leave me," he mumbled, and Erin wasn't sure if he was awake or sleep talking. She knelt down next to the couch and stroked his cheek with her free hand, studying his face in the moonlight. His brow was creased and he looked stressed out, like if he opened his eyes he was going to burst into tears.

"I just want you to come to bed," she said quietly, choosing her words carefully as she tried to figure out what was going on. She decided that he was sleep talking and most likely dreaming about his undercover assignment, which he hadn't told her much about last night. Seeing him so exhausted, in every sense of the word, broke her heart and she hoped that their day off together would fix that. She tugged on his hand, "Come on, babe, the bed is so much more comfortable,"

Jay groaned and his eyes slowly opened as he took in his surroundings. He saw Erin kneeling in front of him with a concerned look in her eye and breathed a sigh of relief when he realized he was on her couch and not back in that shitty apartment in Austin. Coming to his senses, he squeezed her hand and sat up, letting her drag him into the bedroom.

Erin climbed into her bed first and waited for Jay to get in before she lay down and rolled herself into his side and he wrapped his arm around her waist, holding her tight. She was so comfortable and her heart was so full, but she couldn't shake the awful feeling in the pit of her stomach. He breathed in the scent of her hair and felt her warm breath on his bare chest and swore to himself he would never spend a night without her again. Just when he thought she'd fallen back asleep, she rolled onto her stomach and propped herself up on her elbows, once again taking in Jay's exhausted features.

"Are you sure you're okay?" she whispered, her hazel eyes locked with his blue ones and her voice dripping with concern.

"Er, I promise I'm fine," he smiled sleepily and intertwined her fingers with his. "I've never been better. I'm here. I'm home. With you. I'm just tired, I promise," he tried to stifle a yawn but it came out anyway, proving his point.

Erin broke their eye contact and looked down at their interlocked hands, where Jay was tracing circles on her hand with his thumb. She tried to look back up at him to smile, but as soon as she saw his eyes that were now clouding with concern for her, she lost it. Suddenly, all of the emotions that she had bottled up during the past 24 days caught up with her, and before she knew it she was sobbing.

Jay let go of her hands and pulled her into his arms immediately, confused and scared of the sobs coming out of his girlfriend. "Erin… what's wrong?" he asked, watching her tears run down his bare chest.

"I was so scared, Jay. Hank and Al wouldn't tell me anything. I didn't know how you were for a single day out of the 24 you were gone. And then Hank called me tonight and he told me that there were shots fired and he didn't know if you were okay, and then we got there and there are bodies being wheeled into ambulances," she was crying so hard she was sure Jay couldn't understand a word she was saying, "And I can't lose you. I just got you and if I lost you I would never-"

"Hey," Jay interrupted her and her cries got quieter and seemed more under control. He turned her head so she was looking at him and he used his thumbs to wipe the tears from her cheeks, "I was fine. I _am_ fine. I'm here right now, and I'm not going anywhere,"

Erin was still avoiding eye contact as silent tears continued to roll down her cheeks, so he took his hand and once again turned her face towards his, forcing her to look at him. "Now do you want to tell me what else this is about?" he asked gently, knowing there was more than she was admitting to.

She looked up at him, his blue eyes so full of love. She knew he was exhausted and could be dead asleep right now, but here he was, worrying about her and putting up with her bullshit at three in the morning. He was the one who had just spent almost a month undercover in the ghetto; she should be the one worrying about him. "I'm just scared," she mumbled, so quietly that she wasn't sure her boyfriend had even heard her, but he had.

"Of what?"

"Of this. Us. Everything," Erin squeezed her eyes shut to try and stop a new batch of tears from falling. "Every time I think I can't love you more, you make me fall harder. I'm so fucking in love with you and I should be so happy, Jay, but everyone knows that I'm not _allowed_ to be happy. Because every time I'm happy, something horrible happens. So what's gonna happen next? Because I don't know what else I can take,"

Jay's heart broke as Erin continued to break down right before his eyes. Everything suddenly clicked and everything Erin had told him about her past began to make sense; the way she always acted and how she shut him out. He looked down at the beautiful girl in his arms and was filled with such a strong hatred for everyone who broke her. She deserved the world and she hadn't been given as much as a piece of dirt. He felt helpless knowing there was nothing he could do that was going to change the way she thought about herself, but he was damn well going to try. He placed a kiss on the top of her head and tightened his embrace, "Nothing's going to happen. You are Erin Lindsay, the most deserving, beautiful, strong woman in this world and I am not going to let anything happen to you. No one deserves happiness more than you, Er,"

Jay repositioned them so that they were both lying down with Erin's head still buried in his chest. He rubbed circles on her back and breathed a sigh of relief when her breathing finally evened out and he knew she was asleep. He was exhausted, but he would never choose sleep over Erin, especially not now. He closed his eyes and drifted off within seconds, still holding onto her as he slept.

xoxoxoxo

Jay rolled over and reached out for Erin, groaning when his arms hit the cold sheets and he opened his eyes to an empty bed. He looked at the clock – 12:07. _Shit,_ he thought. He'd really needed the sleep, but he thought Erin needed him more. He got out of bed and threw on a shirt, rushing out of the room to find his girl.

She was sitting at the counter in one of his hoodies, knees pulled up to her chest, looking at something on her laptop. When he wrapped his arms around her from behind in a strong hug and kissed the top of her head, she jumped but quickly relaxed in his embrace, "Hey, you," she smiled up at him.

"I missed that smile," He said, pulling out the chair next to her and sitting down.

Erin shut her laptop and turned sideways in her chair so she was facing him. "About last night-" she started, but he quickly interrupted her.

"Please don't apologize," he hated that she thought her past was her fault.

She shook her head. "I just wanted to say thank you. I know I'm a mess-"

He interrupted her again, "You are not a mess, Erin Lindsay, and I am going to prove that to you. I'm going to show you just how much happiness you deserve and I'm not going to stop until you believe it yourself. Actually, even then I'm not going to stop," he promised.

She opened her mouth to fight back, but closed it quickly, at a loss for words. "I love you, you know that?" Erin had absolutely no idea what she had done to deserve the man sitting next to her.

"Yeah, I get that a lot," he joked, earning a punch to the bicep by Erin. "Kidding, I love you too." He stood up and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "Now go get dressed – even though you do look really hot in my clothes,"

Erin raised an eyebrow. "Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise. Hurry, we have to stop at my place so I can change too," He pushed her towards her bedroom before she could ask any more questions.

xoxoxoxo

"Turn left here," Jay pointed to a street and Erin turned the car, giving him a quizzical look.

"Are you trying to get us lost so I let you drive and find your way out of here?" she asked, raising her eyebrow.

"As much as I would love to drive, I know exactly where we are and I have faith in my navigational skills and, as always, your driving skills." Jay said, laughing.

Erin shook her head, "Are we there yet?"

"You've asked me that 7 times and we've been in the car for an hour, Lindsay," Jay laughed again, "You're worse than Emma and Matty,"

Erin rolled her eyes. She kept looking for signs to give her an idea of where they were, but she was coming up empty. Since they had left the city limits of Chicago, she had been clueless. All she knew for sure was that it looked like the middle of nowhere and she had never seen so many cornfields in her life. "At least I know this isn't the way to Wisconsin," she said, smirking.

Jay just shook his head, "Shush. Turn right up here then you'll see it,"

"Finally," Erin did as she was told and gasped when she saw the huge Ferris wheel in the distance. She put the car in park and turned to face her boyfriend. "Jay, why-"

"Er, last night when you told me that you weren't allowed to be happy – that broke my heart. Imagine the strongest, most beautiful person you know telling you that they think they deserve to be miserable. And it got me thinking and I thought about your childhood, and Bunny, and it made me really upset that you never got to have a proper childhood. That you never got to experience that carefree happiness. This fair was my favorite place as a child – I came with my parents and siblings every year. It's the epitome of carefree happiness – rides, cotton candy, winning teddy bears – and no one deserves the feeling of happiness more than you. So let's go be happy."

Erin felt her eyes filling up with tears again, but this time they were happy tears – the complete opposite of the fear and denial she'd been in last night. Jay got out of the car and walked around to her side to open her door, pulling her out and intertwining his fingers with hers. They walked hand in hand into the county fair and Erin was positive her heart was going to burst from being so full.

xoxoxoxo

They were stopped at the top of the Ferris wheel and Erin was looking down, taking it all in. Everyone on the ground looked like ants, but she could make out a group of little kids playing tag and countless happy families walking around; parents holding hands as their children hugged stuffed animals that they won or stuffed their faces with greasy snacks from the vendors. She hated that she was jealous of the little kids running around so carefree below her, but she was broken from her thoughts by a squeeze of her hand.

"I can hear you thinking from over here," Jay told her, that look of concern from last night clouding his blue eyes once again.

"I was just thinking about my childhood, and how if anyone ever told me that one day I would ever have the chance to be here, with you, I would have laughed at them. This type of stuff doesn't happen to street kids," Erin shook her head, "I'm sorry I'm ruining the mood," she tried to change the subject but Jay interrupted.

"Er, you have to stop holding this all inside. Let it out, let me help you. I told you I'm going to make you realize that you deserve happiness and I'm never breaking a promise that I make to you," he squeezed her hand again and the look of love in his eyes gave Erin newfound courage.

"When I was 12," she started, her voice shaking, "I was going to bring Teddy to a fair like this in Chicago for his birthday. It was his 9th birthday and I had it all planned out – I even picked up extra babysitting hours from my neighbors to make sure I would have the money to do anything he wanted. I had studied the bus routes and knew what buses we had to take; I even bought Teddy a new jacket in case it was cold outside that day. But the night before, Bunny came home with a new guy and they both needed a fix but neither of them had any money. Bunny caught me putting my money in my backpack while I was getting ready for bed and she told the guy that I had money and wouldn't give it to her, so he came into my room and told me that he would kill Bunny if I didn't hand over the money. Said once she was dead, he'd call the cops and CPS would come get me and Teddy, and then he'd be able to get the money anyway. So I gave them everything and went to return Teddy's new jacket so I had money to at least buy him a cake," she finished, scared to look up at Jay and see his reaction.

Jay didn't say a word – he didn't know what to say – he just pulled Erin into him and kissed the top of her head as she took a deep breath. She had never told anyone that story, not even Hank, and it suddenly felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She was suddenly thankful they were 100 feet in the air so Jay couldn't run away right then – no one could want to deal with her past.

Finally finding words, Jay sighed. "You have such a big heart. You know what most 12 year olds would do if they had money? Go buy some video games or new clothes from the mall, something for themselves. No typical 12 year old would think of her little brother. But you did, Er. Because you want everyone to be happy. You gave Bunny the money, even though she didn't deserve it, because you wanted her to be happy and you didn't want to see her suffer. You've given everyone a chance to be happy. But guess what?" He cupped one of his hands around Erin's cheek and forced her to look into his eyes. "It's your turn to be happy,"

Maybe it was the relief of finally getting those words off of her tongue, or the love in his eyes, or his beautiful smile, but when he said those last six words, something made Erin believe him. She suddenly realized how badly she wanted to be free from her past and start clean, create a bright future. A future with Jay Halstead.

They were moving towards the ground now and another wave of relief washed over her when she realized he wasn't going to run when they got there. For the first time in her life, Erin Lindsay truly believed a person when he said he wasn't going anywhere. She leaned forward and crashed her lips onto his, a silent thank you because she knew she'd never be able to find the words to express her gratitude.

xoxoxoxo

They walked hand in hand around the fair, Erin's other hand occupied by a giant teddy bear that Jay had won her playing ring-toss. The sun was starting to set and Erin felt like she was floating on cloud nine. The rest of the day had been picture perfect, the two of them going on rides, eating junk food, and talking about anything and everything and laughing so hard that their stomachs hurt. They felt like the old Jay and Erin, before Hank tried to come between them, before the undercover op, before the hurt.

Erin looked to her left and took in Jay's features – he looked so much better than he had lying on her couch the night before and she took pride in being a part of that. The light was back in his eyes and he looked so relaxed, so perfect.

"It's not nice to stare, Linds," he laughed, letting her know she'd been caught.

Erin rolled her eyes. "Don't flatter yourself, I was just admiring the cotton candy stuck to your face." She laughed and let go of his hand to reach up and wipe the blue sugar off of his cheek.

"What would I do without you?" Jay asked sarcastically.

"It's a good thing you're never gonna have to find out," she promised, intertwining her fingers with his once again.

xoxoxoxo

"I can't believe you're letting me drive," Jay said for the fifth time as they drove back to Chicago.

"Eh, you earned it," Erin told him, laughing at his boyish grin. She looked at the clock on the dashboard, it was only 9:02 and she was feeling way too good for this day to be over any time soon. "Hey, wanna go to Molly's? I bet the unit is there and I'm sure they'd love to see you."

Jay nodded, not wanting the day to end either. "That sounds great," he said, reaching over and squeezing Erin's leg.

They pulled up to the small pub and walked in holding hands, automatically finding their team in their usual spot in the back corner.

"Halstead! Lindsay!" Ruzek called out, and the whole team plus Burgess and Roman looked up with huge smiles on their faces.

"It's so good to see you, man," Antonio greeted Jay, and then turned to Erin. "And it's so good to see you smiling again,"

Erin felt her cheeks redden but her smile just got wider, "I'm happy. Really happy," she admitted, squeezing Jay's hand as he beamed.


	8. Chapter 8

so. much. fluff. but i had to get this story going again! please review and give me some ideas on where you want me to go with this next, i love reading your feedback and ideas!

xo :)

Antonio smiled as he watched Erin and Jay at the bar. It had been a long time since he'd seen that sparkle in the woman he thought of as his little sister's eyes and he knew Halstead was to thank for that.

Once they got their drinks, Erin walked over to the bar to talk to Burgess and Jay made his way back over to the team.

"You did good, Halstead." Antonio told the younger detective when he sat down next to him.

"She makes it easy. I just wish she'd see herself the way that everyone else sees her, ya know?" Jay looked at his mentor. Because of Voight's rules, he had never had the guts to talk to anyone but Mouse about Erin before.

"What do you mean?" Antonio asked, even though he already knew the answer.

"She thinks she's unloveable. And that she's not allowed to be happy because if she's happy she thinks something bad is going to happen. And it just makes me so angry at Bunny and her dad and everyone else who made her think like that. And I don't know how to change her mind about it." Jay vented, taking a long sip of beer.

"Just keep doing what you're doing. Trust me, I've known Erin for a long time – since she first became Voight's CI. I've seen her push people away and go through boys like they're disposable. She's different around you. She wants to let you in, I can tell. She just doesn't know how. But whatever you're doing, it's working. I was just thinking that I hadn't seen that sparkle in her eyes in a long time – probably not since Camille died. She's happy, man, whether she wants to accept it or not."

Jay's heart soared at Antonio's words. He looked across the bar at Erin and saw the sparkle in her eyes that Antonio was talking about and at that moment, more than ever before; he vowed that he would spend the rest of his life making Erin Lindsay really, truly happy.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

"So spill. I haven't seen you this smiley since the day after your high school reunion – which you never did tell me about, by the way," Kim demanded, pushing another tequila shot towards Erin.

Erin rolled her eyes and picked up the glass, pouring another shot of the amber liquid down her throat. "I'm just glad Jay's back," she shrugged, not being one to talk about her feelings.

"I'm happy the two of you finally got your shit together and all, but that is not the only reason." Burgess challenged.

Erin shot her a look and poured herself another shot. How was Burgess not a detective yet? Damn, she was good. Erin knocked back the tequila and sighed. "Last night, after Jay finished the undercover op, he came back to my place…" 

"And? Erin, you're dating, that's to be expected…" Burgess continued to push her.

"And I don't know what happened, but we were just laying in my bed and I was just so happy to finally have him there but I was so scared during the bust and all of these emotions just exploded out of me and I couldn't stop crying. And Jay was comforting me, but I should've been the one comforting him, I mean he just spent the last month living in Austin for god's sake. But I was such a mess and he just accepted it. And I told him parts about my past, which I don't tell anyone, and he didn't run. And he's still here telling me he loves me. And today, he felt so bad about my breakdown last night, he took me to one of his favorite childhood fairs and told me about his mom, and I told him more about my past, and he still didn't run," she paused to take a sip of her beer. "And I just really, really don't know how I, the street kid with a deadbeat mom and a dad in prison, got so lucky… but today I realized that he's it for me. And I want to spend the rest of my life with him, and I never pictured myself saying that about anyone."

"Okay, well that is the most disgustingly cute story I've ever heard," Kim laughed and reached forward to squeeze Erin's hand. "Trust me, you deserve to be happy, Erin. Stop telling yourself otherwise. And you have a really, really amazing man who wants to make you happy – let it happen. Like I said, I haven't seen you this smiley in a long time." She pushed one more tequila shot towards Erin and took the last one for herself.

"Thanks Kim. Cheers to that," Erin clinked their glasses together.

xoxoxoxoxo

One hour, lots of girl talk, and too many tequila shots later, Erin stumbled away from Kim at the bar and back over to the table that Jay was sitting at. His chair was facing away from her and she wrapped her arms around his back in a hug, surprising him.

"Hi," her raspy voice whispered in his ear, sending chills down his spine.

"Hey, you," Jay smiled when he heard Erin's voice and he turned in his chair to pull her onto his lap, sending her into a fit of giggles. "Someone's a little drunk, huh?"

"Who?" she joked, reaching up to peck his lips.

"Hmm, I don't know. It might be this really beautiful brunette. She's about 5'3, gorgeous hazel eyes, sexy voice… you know her?"

"Is she your girlfriend?" Erin asked, raising an eyebrow teasingly.

"She is," Jay answered, placing a kiss on her cheek.

"Well she's realllllly lucky," Erin slurred, laying her head on his shoulder.

"Not as lucky as me," he buried his face in her hair for a second, inhaling a mixture of her honey scent and tequila. "Come on, let's get you home."

Erin slowly got up off of his lap and he got up right behind her, wrapping his hand around her waist for support as they said goodbye to the team.

"I'm driving again," he told her as they got out to the car, earning a groan and an eye roll from his drunk partner.

"But I hate your driving," she whined, even though she was already getting into the passenger seat.

"But you love me," he countered, leaning in for a kiss as he helped her buckle her seatbelt.

"I do. I love you so much," she mumbled against his lips.

"Well that's good, because I kinda love you too." He pressed one final kiss against her lips before closing her door and making his way over to the driver's side. As soon as he got in, Erin grabbed his free hand and intertwined their fingers. They spent the ride back to her apartment in a comfortable silence, both listening to the lyrics of the love songs blasting over the radio.

xoxoxoxoxo

Once they got back to Erin's apartment, they both got ready for bed quickly, exhausted from the alcohol and the day's events. Jay walked into Erin's bedroom with a glass of water and two painkillers, handing them to his girlfriend who was waiting for him in bed.

"You're too good to me," she said, sitting up and graciously accepting the Advil.

"Nothing will ever be too good for you," he promised, turning off the light and getting into bed next to her. She put the now empty glass on her bedside table and curled into Jay, laying her head on his chest.

"Thank you for today," she whispered into the darkness.

"You don't need to thank me, Er. I didn't do anything." Jay whispered back, lightly tracing patterns on her arm with his fingers.

"You did though. It's little things like that that mean the most. And it made me realize something,"

"What's that?" he asked.

Erin lifted her head off of Jay's chest and rolled onto her stomach, propped up on her elbows so she was facing him. "That you're my fresh start, and that I want to spend everyday trying to make you as happy as you make me. And that I'm so thankful for you and that I love you more than words. And I know that this is nothing like me and if you ever told anyone I was saying this, no one would believe it, but it's true," she suddenly sounded sober.

"Erin, you never have to _try_ to make me happy. You've made me happy since the first day I met you, when you were making fun of me for accidentally taking Platt's parking spot. And every day since then, you've made me even happier than the day before, even on days when I don't think it's possible. Being here, with you, makes me happier than I've ever been," he reached his arm out and pulled her back on top of him. "I love you so much. Thank you for letting me in."

"Thank you for not running." She rolled over so her head was buried in his chest.

"You're not getting rid of me that easy," he placed a kiss into her hair. "Or ever, actually. Now go to sleep, we have work in the morning."

"Goodnight, Jay. I love you," she mumbled into his chest, already losing consciousness.

"I love you more, Er." He tightened his grip around her and she fell fast asleep listening to his heartbeat, both of them feeling more complete than ever before.


	9. Chapter 9

Work in Intelligence was slow the next day, but Erin and Jay were just thankful to be back in the bullpen and getting back to normal. Lindsay sat at her desk reorganizing some old CI files while most of the guys gathered around Jay's desk, engrossed in an intense game of paper football.

"Lindsay!" Platt's booming voice came up the stairs.

Erin stood up from her desk to make her way over to the stairs. "What's up, Sergeant?"

"There's someone down here to see you!"

Confused, Erin made her way down the stairs to the lobby of the 21st district. She walked over to Platt, who had resumed position behind the desk. The sergeant shrugged and returned Erin's confused look and pointed to the bench in the corner of the lobby. Erin turned to the bench and was met with a face she had not seen in a long time.

"Oh my gosh, Ryan! What are you doing here!?" she ran over to the man standing up from the bench and wrapped him in a huge hug.

"Hey Er!" Ryan pulled back from the hug and looked at his old patrol partner. "I'm with the department of organized crime now and we need serious help on a case. My sergeant mentioned partnering with Intelligence and when I heard you were working up here now I volunteered to come talk to your team. You look great, by the way."

"Well you picked the perfect day, it's dead up there. Let me go talk to my sergeant and introduce you to my team." Erin smiled. She and Ryan had gone through the academy together and he was her first partner when she went out on patrol. Aside from Jay, he was the best partner she'd ever had. She buzzed them upstairs and as they entered the bullpen, she saw nothing had changed and the paper football game was still in full force – she wasn't even sure if they noticed her leave in the first place.

Erin cleared her throat to get the attention of her childish team and all of their heads snapped up to look at her. Jay immediately noticed the man standing behind her and shot her a confused look.

"Guys, this is Ryan. He's from organized crime and they may need our help with a case they're working," she explained, leading Ryan through the bullpen and over to Voight's office. She knocked on the door and heard him grunt, which she took as a sign to enter.

"Lindsay," he motioned for her to close the door behind her, not looking up at her or noticing the man behind her.

"Hank, you remember Ryan Murphy?" she asked, and her sergeant's head popped up from the papers he was looking at.

"Murphy!" Hank stood from his desk and held his hand out to shake Ryan's. "One of the finest partners my girl has ever had. What can I do for you?"

Ryan began to explain the case and Erin excused herself from Hank's office to let the two of them talk. She saw the football game had been resumed and walked over to Jay's desk, sitting down on his lap while she knew Hank was distracted in his office and wouldn't make a comment about keeping it professional.

Jay welcomed the surprise and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Who was that?" he whispered in her ear.

"I told you, an officer from organized crime."

"You know him," Jay said with an edge to his voice, and Erin couldn't tell if it was a question or statement.

"I do. He was my first partner. Why does it matter?" she asked, confused.

"Just wondering." He quickly shut her down.

"Jay Halstead," Erin turned in his lap so she was facing him. "Are you jealous?"

"What? No!" Jay whisper-screamed, way too quickly. Erin raised her eyebrow and was about to retort when the door to Voight's office opened. She quickly jumped off Jay's lap as her father figure and old partner walked back into the bullpen.

"Erin, walk Murphy out." Hank ordered and she nodded, walking away from Jay's desk and back down the stairs with Ryan, thankful he and Jay wouldn't be in the room together.

"How'd it go?" she asked once they got back into the lobby.

Ryan shook his head. "He doesn't want to take the case. But it wasn't a wasted trip. I'm really glad I got to see you, Linds. We should get dinner sometime…"

Erin smiled. "Ryan, I have a boyfriend."

"Ya know, I should've known from that sparkle in your eye. He's a really lucky guy. I have to go, but I'll see you around." Her old partner gave her a small smile before making his way out the door.

Erin made her way back upstairs to see that the football game had finally ended and everyone had returned to their respective desks, sorting through files and filling out forgotten paperwork. She sat down at her desk and finished going through the file she'd been working on before Ryan had shown up and was about to go through another one when she felt a pair of eyes on her. She looked up to see her boyfriend staring at her, still looking confused. Smirking, she tilted her head towards the break room and stood up, with Jay following close behind. Erin closed the door behind them and double-checked to make sure Hank was still in his office before she pinned Jay up against the counter.

"You're sexy when you're jealous," she whispered, placing a quick kiss on his lips.

"Erin, I saw the way he was looking at you." Jay sighed, frustrated.

"Oooh, is that why he asked me out to dinner?" she teased.

"What!? Erin!" Jay's eyes widened and he felt anger bubbling inside of him.

"Jay," she cupped a hand around his cheek, running her thumb over his stubble. "And then I told him that I have a boyfriend - an amazing, very hot boyfriend who I love very much."

Jay dropped his face into Erin's hair and placed a kiss on the top of her head but stayed silent.

"Where is this coming from? You've never had a problem with any of my friends before," she asked, confused.

Jay lifted his head and looked into her eyes, which were glowing with a mixture of love and concern. "It's nothing, really. Please don't think I don't trust you. I don't trust the other guys. I mean, I've always known how amazing you are, and how lucky I am to have you, but yesterday I saw a whole new side of you and fell in love with you 100x more. And knowing that every other man in the world also sees how amazing you are, it's kinda hard to trust them. Because if I wasn't dating you, I'd definitely be trying to steal you from someone."

It took everything in Erin to remind herself that they were in the break room and she couldn't kiss his face off because he looked so in love and vulnerable at that moment it was all she wanted to do. "Babe, no one is stealing me. I'm not going anywhere. Like you said last night, you're not getting rid of me that easy. No more jealousy, okay?"

Jay nodded. "I'm sorry. I love you."

"I love you more." Erin stood on her toes to place one last kiss on his lips, then looked at the clock behind him. "Come on, it's already 6. Let's see if Voight will let us go, I have a surprise for you."

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Jay gasped as Erin drove into the parking lot of the United Center. "How?" he asked; knowing Blackhawks playoff tickets weren't cheap or easy to find.

His girlfriend shrugged as she parked the car. "I felt the need to properly thank you after yesterday, so I asked Atwater to hook me up. You know his connections. Now come on before we miss puck drop!" she got out of the car and he met her at her door, automatically grabbing her hand and intertwining their fingers.

"This is seriously amazing." Jay had never been to a playoff game before and the atmosphere was unlike anything he'd ever experienced.

"I'm glad you like it, because you're buying beer." Erin smiled up at him sweetly as they found their seats.

"I knew there was a catch." He rolled his eyes, but the smile on his face proved he was feigning annoyance as he reached for his wallet.

The puck dropped and they fell into their usual banter, with Jay making fun of Erin when she jumped every time the puck hit the glass in front of her and Erin cackling when Jay cheered so hard he spilt his beer down his shirt. After the second period, Jay serenaded Erin with every song that blasted over the speakers.

"You are such a dork," she spit out between laughing fits, playfully smacking his head away from her.

"You loveee it," he continued in his sing-song voice.

Erin rolled her eyes. "Eh, sometimes. I guess."

"Hey!" he pretended to be hurt, reaching over and lifting Erin up out of her seat and on to his lap. All of the sudden, everyone around them was staring at them but they were too lost in their banter to notice.

"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" a chant broke out around them and caused Jay to look up at the scoreboard, which featured their two faces on the kiss cam.

"Uh, Er…" he laughed awkwardly, knowing that despite her currently sitting on his lap, his girlfriend was not one for public displays of affection.

Erin looked up at the scoreboard and almost groaned, but then remembered everything this man had done for her and said to her in the past 24 hours and how badly he wanted to be with her and how he wanted the whole world to know that she was his. She put a hand on each of his cheeks and leaned into Jay, capturing his lips in a passionate kiss that took him by surprise and sent the crowd erupting in applause.

Jay was shocked when they finally pulled apart for air. "What was that for?"

"Everything." Erin leaned forward one last time and pecked his lips before moving back into her own seat and resting her head on his shoulder as the third period began.


	10. Chapter 10

Later that night, Jay and Erin were tangled up on Erin's couch mindlessly watching reruns of Grey's Anatomy. Erin was lazily drawing circles on Jay's chest as Jay played with her hair, both of them fighting sleep.

"I don't wanna go to work tomorrow, it's been so dead. It's like Chicago's criminals are taking a break," Erin mumbled.

"Are you complaining about being able to sit at your desk and stare at me all day?" Jay asked.

Erin rolled her eyes. "I could do that in bed though…"

"Please, Er, if we were in bed, you'd be doing more than just staring at me," he countered.

"Don't flatter yourself, Halstead. I'm exhausted," Erin yawned as if she needed to prove her point.

"Let's go to bed then," Jay suggested, a smirk on his face.

"And _sleep,"_ Erin emphasized, getting up from the couch.

"Fine, you need to be well-rested for tomorrow night anyway," Jay sighed, turning off the TV and following her into the bedroom.

"What's tomorrow night?" Erin asked, confused.

"Well… my sister and her husband are attending an event at Hotel Monaco and I kinda told them we would babysit Emma and Matty…"

"Are you serious!?" Erin exclaimed, a huge smile breaking out on her tired face.

"I mean, unless you don't want to…" Jay joked, laughing at her excitement.

Erin threw a pillow at her boyfriend. "You just made my night. They're, like, the only perk of dating you."

Jay rolled his eyes as he turned off the lights and got into bed next to Erin, hitting her with the pillow that she'd thrown at him. "Are they now?" he asked, pulling her into him.

Erin let out a content sigh as she nestled into the crook of Jay's shoulder. "Maybe your body heat is a close second," she mumbled, her breath hot on his skin.

Jay couldn't help but laugh. "I love you, you brat," he placed a kiss in Erin's hair and tightened his hold on her as he began to drift off to sleep.

"I love you more," she whispered, already half-asleep herself.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

During another slow day in Intelligence, Erin was practically bouncing off the walls of the break room as the end of the day neared.

"Jeez, Er, are you excited about something?" Jay asked sarcastically as he filled their coffee mugs.

"I'm so bored, I've reorganized the CI files like five times. I even offered to help Platt with inventory," she whined, "I just want to go home and eat and see Emma and Matty,"

Jay laughed at his girlfriend as his heart swelled at how excited she was to spend time with the two most important kids in his life. "One more hour. Come on, you can help me clean off my desk."

Erin groaned. "I would rather stick needles in my eyes, Halstead. Your desk hasn't been cleaned in like two years, there's probably live animals in one of the drawers,"

"Fine, no niece and nephew for you," Jay shrugged as he began to walk out of the break room.

"Okay, fine!" Erin took two huge steps to catch up with him. "I'll get the garbage can,"

Forty-five minutes, seven banana peels, four empty coffee cups, and one clean desk later, the day was finally over.

"You're not driving for at least another year after making me do that," Erin informed her boyfriend as they walked out of the precinct to her car.

"Come on, it wasn't _that_ bad!" Jay protested.

"Halstead, we found paperwork from a case from 2013!" Erin laughed. "But it was nice to see that you started saving pictures of us in 2013 as well,"

Jay felt his cheeks redden. Of course Erin had found the picture that he'd printed out of the two of them from his first night at Molly's with the team. He had just said something stupid and Erin was laughing at him and smacking his arm as he beamed at the camera that Burgess was pointing at them. It'd been in his desk since his second week in Intelligence and quite honestly he'd forgotten about it until Erin found it under a pile of papers and banana peel today.

"It's always been you, Lindsay," he reached to his side and wrapped his arm around Erin's shoulders, pulling him into her.

Typically Erin would have replied with a sassy remark, but she knew he was right. No matter how much she had tried to fight it, he was it for her. It had always been them, so she just sighed contently and rested her head on his shoulder as they took the final steps towards the 300.

When they reached the car, Erin resumed her spot in the drivers seat as Jay slid into the passenger seat. "What time are the kids coming?" she asked excitedly.

"Probably like an hour?" Jay guessed, checking his phone. "My sister's event starts at 7 so they'll drop them off a little before that."

"What does Uncle Jay have planned?" she asked, raising her eyebrow as she began to drive to Jay's apartment.

"Food. I always sugar them up when they're at my place, my sister hates it," Jay chuckled at the memories.

"Food sounds so good," Erin moaned as her stomach growled.

"I didn't say anything about _you_ getting food," Jay joked.

Not taking her eyes off the road, Erin reached to her side and slapped his arm. "Watch it,"

Jay lifted his hands up in mock surrender as he laughed. "Fine, Er, I guess we'll share our food with you. But only because we love you,"

"Nice save, Halstead," Erin rolled her eyes as she pulled into a spot in front of Jay's building and the couple got out of the car.

"There are leftovers from last night in the fridge or we can order pizza or something before they get here," Jay looked over at Erin and realized she looked unimpressed. "Unless you want what the kids are eating? Chicken nuggets and French fries?"

Erin's eyes lit up. "For a second I thought you weren't going to offer that to me,"

"You are a child," Jay laughed. "Let me guess, you want to make your own sundae for dessert too?"

"Chocolate ice cream, rainbow sprinkles, whipped cream, and a cherry," she winked at him as he unlocked his apartment door.

"You know I can tie a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue?" Jay raised his eyebrows and smirked as Erin walked past him into his apartment.

"Well I guess that takes away the theory that only good kissers can do it," Erin challenged, matching his eyebrow raise.

Jay's jaw dropped at her comeback. "Take that back, Lindsay," he warned, following her into his kitchen and trapping her between his body and the kitchen counter.

"Or what?" she asked innocently.

"Don't make me prove myself to you," Jay mumbled as he brought his face closer to Erin's.

"I dare you," Erin stood on her toes to close the distance between them and hungrily crashed her lips to his. Jay's hands found her waist and lifted her onto his counter, their lips never disconnecting as Erin tugged at the hair on the nape of his neck. Jay was doing a pretty good job proving himself when there was a knock on the door.

"Fuck," Erin whispered, trying to catch her breath.

"Still want them to come over?" Jay groaned, pecking her lips a final time before leaving the kitchen to answer the door.

Erin hopped off the counter and took a deep breath to pull herself together then followed Jay to the door. The apartment was quickly filled with squeaky voices and happy giggles.

"Erin!" Emma screamed, running across the apartment catapulting herself into Erin's arms the second she spotted her.

"Hi sweet girl!" Erin lifted her off the ground, resting her on her hip.

"Hi Erin!" another voice called out and Erin looked down to see Matty hugging her knees.

"Hey bud!" she reached down with her free hand to ruffle his hair.

"What am I, chopped liver?" Jay asked as he closed the door and turned towards his girlfriend, niece, and nephew. Emma squirmed out of Erin's arms and ran over to Jay with Matty following close behind.

"Are you guys hungry?" Jay asked, leading them back into the kitchen.

The twins nodded. "Chicken nuggets?" they asked simultaneously.

"Obviously. Erin wants some too, do you think we should share with her?" he asked them, winking at his girlfriend.

"Of course!" Emma exclaimed, giving her uncle an _are-you-stupid?_ expression and Matty nodded in agreement, causing Erin to stick her tongue out at Jay.

"I'll cook them, why don't you guys go into the living room and play?" Jay suggested.

The twins eagerly nodded. "Let's go, Erin!" Matty yelled, grabbing her hand and pulling her down the hall; Jay's heart swelling at how much they loved her.

When Jay finished cooking dinner, he carried trays into the living room to find Erin simultaneously building a Lego tower with Matty and braiding Emma's hair while she played CandyCrush on Erin's phone. The twins were getting along, which was rare, and neither was fighting for attention because somehow seemed completely focused on both of them. He just shook his head, amazed. Whenever he babysat alone, trying to play with them usually resulted in a screaming match between the two kids about who Jay liked more or who Jay was paying more attention to. The three playing on the floor looked so happy that Jay hated to interrupt them, but he gently cleared his throat to make his presence known and lifted up the trays of food to show that he had dinner. Erin and the kids climbed up to the couch and he put the trays of chicken nuggets and fries on his coffee table then took a seat next to Erin; Emma climbing in Erin's lap and Matty climbing into Jay's. They were all starving and the food disappeared quickly.

"Dessert?" Matty asked eagerly as he swallowed his last French fry.

"Ice cream," Jay answered, earning wide-eyed grins from his niece and nephew.

He went to stand up to go back in the kitchen when Erin stopped him. "Sit, you cooked dinner. I'll bring this stuff into the kitchen and bring you out ice cream," she smiled, picking the trays up off the table.

"We wanna help!" the twins declared, getting off of the couch and following Erin down the hall, once again causing Jay to shake his head at how much they loved her.

Erin dropped the trays into Jay's sink and opened the freezer, taking out cartons of chocolate and vanilla ice cream. She grabbed sprinkles from the cabinet and whipped cream and cherries from the fridge.

"What kind do you guys want?" she asked the twins.

"I want vanilla and Matty wants chocolate," Emma answered for both of them. Erin got bowls out of the cabinet and scooped their ice cream for them before handing them the bowls to add toppings.

"Be careful," she warned, "You know how much Uncle Jay hates messes." The words left her mouth but were not heard by either child as Emma picked up the whipped cream and squirted it into her brother's mouth, getting it all over both him and the floor. Erin burst out laughing as she grabbed a towel to wipe the mess when she got an idea.

"Hey, Em," she whispered quietly. "I'm gonna get Uncle Jay's ice cream ready then you should go see if he wants some whipped cream?" she winked at the little girl who's face lit up when she realized what Erin was saying. Matty caught on too and began to giggle mischievously as he added sprinkles on top of his ice cream.

Erin scooped a huge bowl of chocolate ice cream for her and Jay to share then motioned for the twins to follow her. Clearly too excited to formulate any type of plan, both kids ran in front of Erin and Matty jumped on to Jay's lap to hold him still.

"Hey bud, where's your ice cream?" Jay asked, confused. Before Matty could answer, Emma climbed up the side of the couch and held down the top of the whipped cream bottle, spraying the dessert all over her uncle. Erin stood in the hallway, hand over mouth, trying to silence her laughter as tears rolled down her cheeks from laughing so hard. Before Jay could even process what had happened, both twins had climbed back off the couch and ran over to Erin for high-fives.

"You are so dead," Jay stood up with a huge grin on his face, chasing Erin down the hall and back into the kitchen with the twins following close behind. He stuck a finger into the open vanilla ice cream and smeared it all over Erin's face as Erin defensively threw a handful of sprinkles towards him. Within seconds, Emma and Matty joined in and the kitchen turned into an all-out food fight.

"Okay, okay, I surrender," Erin spit out a few minutes later between laughing fits, throwing her hands up in mock-surrender as a cherry hit her in the eye. Matty was hiding behind her as Emma crouched behind the counter, trying to eat her ice cream and throw sprinkles at everyone at the same time.

"About time," Jay laughed, wiping a handful of whipped cream out of his hair and putting down the carton of ice cream he'd been holding. He looked around his kitchen that looked like an ice cream shop on steroids and shuddered.

"Do you want help cleaning up?" Erin asked, still laughing.

"No way, you'll just make it worse," Jay smirked, knowing what Erin's idea of cleaning up was. He'd had to pick her boots and wet towels up from the middle of his floor one too many times for him to believe her when she promised to clean anything up. "Go put a movie on for the kids, I'll meet you out there,"

Erin nodded and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "Yum, chocolate," she smirked, wiping the excess dessert off his face before leading the kids back into the living room.

When Jay returned to the living room forty-five minutes later, he found all three passed out on the couch with _Peter Pan_ playing in the background. Erin was sitting up with Emma sleeping on her right shoulder and Matty on her left. He was about to join them when there was a knock on the door, signaling that his sister was here to pick up her kids. He woke up his three sleeping beauties by kissing them each on the forehead before answering the door to let his sister in.

Once Jay's family left, Erin made her way back into his apartment and collapsed onto his couch. "That was exhausting," she said, but with a smile on her face showing that she'd enjoyed every minute of it.

"You're great with them, I think they like you better than me," Jay made his way over to her, two beers in hand.

She graciously took one from him and took a long sip. "No way, they adore their Uncle Jay. You're going to be a great dad one day, ya know,"

"And you're going to be an amazing mom," Jay sat down next to Erin, pulling her into him.

"I hope our kids have your eyes," she told him, lifting her head up to look at him.

Jay couldn't help the goofy grin that broke out across his face. "Our kids," he repeated, half convinced that he imagined the words coming out of his commitment-phobe girlfriend's mouth.

Erin rolled her eyes. "Yes, you dork. I know I'm all over the place but this is new to me. You have to know that you're it for me."

"Well that's good, because I think you might be it for me too," Jay was still unable to wipe the smile off his face as he pressed his lips to hers.

"Love you," she mumbled between soft kisses, completely unsure of how she'd gotten to this point in her life but so thankful she had.


	11. Chapter 11

The shrill ringing of a cell phone caused Erin to jolt awake at 3:54am. She turned to her side to grab her phone of Jay's nightstand, thinking it was Voight telling them that Intelligence had finally caught a case, but then realized that it was only Jay's phone ringing, taking away that possibility. Immediately knowing something was wrong, her heart began to pound as she nudged her boyfriend awake.

"Jay!" she tried to say loudly, but her voice was horse from waking up so suddenly. Jay just groaned and flipped over onto his stomach, still sound asleep. Knowing how hard he was to wake up and knowing that the phone was going to stop ringing soon, Erin took a deep breath and grabbed his phone off the nightstand, pressing the green button.

"Hello?" she spoke quietly into the receiver.

"Wh-who is this?" a shaky female voice asked and Erin could tell whoever was on the other end was crying.

"Uhm, hold on," Erin stammered, her heart dropping and her brain clouding with confusion. She reached back over to the nightstand and turned on the lamp, then turned back to Jay and hit his arm. "Jay!" she spoke louder this time.

Jay's eyes shot open. "Jesus, Erin, what!?" He snapped, startled by the sudden awakening. He immediately regretted his reaction when he saw the fear in his girlfriend's eyes as she handed him his cell phone. He quickly got out of bed and made his way out into his living room before putting the phone to his ear. "Hello?"

Erin almost got out of bed and followed Jay but judging by his outburst when she woke him, she decided against it. She held her breath as she tried to listen to Jay's conversation in the living room and her concern only increased when she heard a few select curse words followed by, "Oh my god. When? How?" Eventually she couldn't fight it anymore and she climbed out of his bed and tiptoed into the living room. Her heart shattered into a million pieces when she saw Jay, who was off the phone at this point, leaning on his kitchen counter and staring out the window. He was gripping the edge of the counter so tight his knuckles were turning white and his shoulders were beginning to shake with sobs. Erin quickly made her way across his kitchen and wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her head between his shoulder blades and pressing kisses to his spine.

"What happened?" she whispered into his back. Not saying a word, Jay spun around so he was facing Erin and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, burying his face in her hair. "Jay?" she asked again; she knew her boyfriend was exactly like her – he wouldn't say a word about what was bothering him and he would shut everyone out until it ate him alive.

"Jake… Jacob Quentin… he was my buddy from my first tour. Saved my life a few times… he shot himself. His wife just called, Er, and he put a bullet in his brain so he didn't have to deal with his nightmares anymore," Jay tightened his hold on Erin and she rubbed his back soothingly, feeling his tears wet her hair. "I knew his PTSD was bad, but I didn't know it was like that. I should have been there for him. I hadn't talked to him in months. I should've checked in."

"Hey," Erin pulled her head away from his chest to look up at him. "Don't do that. There is nothing you could have done to prevent this," she said sternly, forcing his bloodshot eyes to meet hers. She truly had no idea what to say; she knew that no matter what came out of his mouth, Jay was going to blame himself, but she promised herself that no matter what this led to, she would not give up on him because he never gave up on her.

"It's 4am. Let's go lay down, I'll tell Voight we're taking off tomorrow," she said gently, pulling out of his embrace and taking Jay's hand to lead him back into the bedroom. Jay followed, still not saying a word. He got into his bed first and Erin was slightly relieved when he motioned for her to lie close to him. She turned off the lamp that she'd put on earlier and climbed into bed beside him and placed a quick kiss on his lips before resting her head in the crook of his shoulder and lazily drawing patterns on his chest.

"Tell me about him," she whispered, knowing sleep wasn't going to be an option for the rest of the night.

Jay let out a deep sigh. "He was strong. My first tour was his third and he looked out for me. He's the one who got me out of the Humvee the first time…" his voice trailed off and Erin moved her hand off his chest to intertwine her fingers with his, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

"What was your favorite memory with him?" Erin asked, trying to make Jay focus on the positives.

"Summer 2012 – actually right before I started working in Intelligence. We went on a boy's trip up to the cabin in Wisconsin but Jake made us leave our phones and computers and all electronics at home for the whole week. It was our first time all together in years and it was great. One night we were playing some drinking game and Jake was dared to jump into the lake naked but he got spotted by a boat of fishermen," Jay let out a dry laugh.

"Focus on memories like that," Erin squeezed his hand again. "That's what he'd want you to do, ya know?"

Jay just grunted, and Erin continued. "Maybe after his funeral we can use some of our vacation days and go up to the cabin? Voight's gonna put us on forced furlough soon anyway," she suggested. She knew Jay needed it and it would be worth every mosquito bite she got.

"Really?" Jay asked, and Erin swore she almost heard excitement in his voice. She let go of his hand and rolled over to prop herself up on her elbows, cupping his cheek with one hand.

"Really." She ran her thumb over his stubble, her heart breaking a little more when she could make out the tears in his eyes through the dark. "When's the funeral?"

"Day after tomorrow. In Springfield."

"We'll go straight from there. I'll clear everything with Voight in the morning," Erin promised.

"Erin, you don't have to come to the services with me," Jay said hoarsely.

"Yes I do. After everything you've done for me, I definitely do," she rubbed his cheek one last time before pressing a gentle kiss on his forehead and cuddling back into his side.

"Er-"

"Jay, stop. It's okay to admit that you need people, ya know," she went back to drawing on his chest. "You're strong, babe. You're the strongest man I know and you've been there for me hundreds of times, but just let me be here for you, okay?"

"Okay," Jay whispered.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Two days later, Erin and Jay loaded their bags into the back of Erin's car and began the three hour drive to Springfield. Jay was silent for the first hour of the drive but kept a death grip on Erin's free hand with his left hand as his right hand constantly adjusted the pins on his uniform.

Eventually Erin couldn't take the silence anymore. "What're you thinking?" she asked softly.

"I don't know." Jay answered honestly. "I'm scared, Er. I'm scared I'm going to see his wife and she's going to blame me for not checking up on him. I could have picked up on the signs."

"She's not going to blame you. I told you that once and I'll tell you a hundred times until you believe it." Erin squeezed his hand. "She's probably so thankful that you were there for him as much as you were. You said you were one of the first people she called, Jay. That just proves how much they both love you."

"Loved." He corrected her.

"No," she sighed. "Love. Present tense. He's always going to be with you and he definitely does not like watching you beat yourself up over this. I don't either."

"I hate this damn uniform." Jay changed the subject and began to fiddle with his pins again.

"You look hot in it," Erin smirked, trying to lighten the mood. Jay just grunted again and Erin turned up the radio and gave up on trying to make conversation. Even though she was silent, her mind was racing. She had never seen her boyfriend shut down like this before, not even after his undercover op, and she absolutely hated it.

Her mind was moving at 1000 miles per minute and before she could stop herself she blurted out, "Do you have nightmares?" She regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth and Jay's head snapped towards her.

"Not anymore," he said quietly and much more gently than Erin expected.

"What stopped them?" she matched his gentle tone.

"You," he said simply, and now it was Erin's turn to snap her head towards him.

"What?"

"You. I haven't had a nightmare since we got together, since I've been sleeping next to you. They started to come back when I was in Austin after I hadn't talked to you or seen you in weeks but the first night I got back to your apartment they were gone again. They were one of the reasons I was dreading going back to my parents house for the wedding so much, too. My nightmares were always really bad there because that's where I lived when I first came home from overseas so I was scared they'd come back when I slept there again… but you slept there with me and I was fine. And I've been fine since. Over three years of nightmares and all it took was one person to make them go away, it's kinda crazy."

Erin opened her mouth and closed it again, unsure of what to say. That was more than Jay had said to her in the past two days combined and now her heart was so full she couldn't even find the words to explain it. "I love you," she choked out. "I love you so much and my heart physically hurts watching you go through this right now. But you're going to get through it, you know that, right?"

"Yeah, I do," Jay looked at her and smiled his first real smile in two days. "Because I have a really amazing support system."

Erin smiled and brought his hand up to her lips, kissing his knuckles as he squeezed her hand, not taking her eyes off the road. According to her GPS, they were five minutes out from the funeral home and even though they had made progress in the last ten minutes, she knew things were about to get hard.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

 _Next up is Wisconsin! I don't really want to write about the funeral in detail because that's depressing af, I just wanted to give you all the idea that Erin was there for Jay (obviously!) There will be some mention of it during the next chapter but not much so I hope that's okay. Thanks for reading, keep reviewing! I love hearing your feedback & ideas, you guys are the best! xo :)_


	12. Chapter 12

"How ya doing?" Erin turned the radio down and glanced over to her boyfriend who had been uncharacteristically quiet since they got back in the car after Jacob's services.

Jay's head was spinning and he was lost in his thoughts, replaying memories of his times with Jake over and over in his head. He was broken from his trance by Erin's voice, which was dripping with concern. He opened his mouth to reply, but closed it again to choose his words carefully – he didn't want to lie to Erin. After all she had been through and everything she'd opened up to him about, she deserved the truth. He could say he was horrible: one of his best friends had just died because he hadn't been there for him and it stirred up a million memories of his time overseas. He could say he was great: he had the most beautiful girl in the world sitting to his left and he was on his way to his favorite place on earth with said girl. Neither of those were true though, so he decided on the middle ground.

"I'm okay," he said honestly. He wasn't great yet – the guilt and those memories of Afghanistan were still floating around in his mind – but he would get there, and he knew Erin would make sure of it.

"I'm proud of you," she said softly, taking one hand off the wheel to intertwine her fingers with him. "You're so damn strong,"

"I couldn't do it without you," he admitted, flashing back to the nightmares he had before she came along.

"You're never gonna have to," she promised, squeezing his hand as she followed the GPS directions to turn into the driveway of a huge log cabin. "Fuck, Jay," she whispered in shock, definitely ruining their moment, but she didn't care – she was in shock of the beautiful home in front of her.

Jay smiled his first real smile in days, both at the sight of the house and at Erin's reaction. "Welcome to northern Wisconsin," He excitedly got out of the car and got their bags out of the trunk of Erin's car.

Erin joined him outside of the car, her eyes still wide in shock. "How the hell did mules build this place?"

Jay laughed and grabbed her hand to lead her inside. "Er, it might have been renovated a bit since the 1920's, ya know."

Erin rolled her eyes. "You could've told me that! Maybe I wouldn't have been so resistant about coming here," her jaw dropped when the door opened to reveal a wide open foyer, surrounded by windows. A giant fireplace occupied the back wall of the house and she could see a hot tub through the back window.

"A pretty house overrules mosquitoes and the smell of cheese curds?" he challenged, still laughing at her amazement as he dropped their bags by the stairs.

"It definitely makes it more manageable," she stopped looking around and turned to look at Jay, her heart swelling when she saw the sparkle back in his eyes. "Give me a tour?"

Jay took her hand again and pulled her down the hallway. "This is the kitchen," he pointed to the left and Erin's jaw dropped at the modern appliances. There were huge stainless steel refrigerators and freezers, including a huge, fully-stocked wine cooler. "And this is the dining room," he pointed to the room on the right then continued down the hallway. "And this is the living room," he announced as they entered the room with the huge fireplace. The living room featured two huge plush couches covered with fuzzy blankets, two comfortable loveseats, and a giant flat-screen TV over the fireplace. It reminded Erin of something that you'd see in a movie where the actors went on a five-star romantic winter vacation getaway. Jay continued to walk even though Erin had stopped to gawk. "You coming?" he asked, smirking at her amazement.

"There's more?" Her eyes widened.

Jay pushed open the door in the corner of the living room. "This is my favorite part," he teased, and she was back at his side in no time. The door opened to reveal the hot tub Erin had spotted earlier in an indoor all-glass window room. Through the glass you could see the lake behind the house, which was currently a reflection of the red, yellow, and purple sunset overtaking the sky.

"Oh my god," she gasped. She looked up at Jay, whose eyes were still sparkling, and pushed up on her toes to press a quick kiss to his lips. "We're retiring here," she mumbled against his lips.

"Wow, that's the second time you've mentioned a future with me in like four days. Who are you and what have you done with Erin Lindsay?" Jay joked, pulling her head into his chest and placing a kiss into her hair.

"Shut up," she laughed, inhaling the scent of his cologne as he kept her body pressed against his. She finally found the strength to pull away and look up at him. "Where's the bedroom?" she asked with a smirk.

"We'll find that later," he promised, matching her smirk. "Right now it's hot tub time. When we were little, my brother, sister, and I had a tradition of going in the hot tub as soon as we got up here – it was always the first thing we did. It stuck with me, even when I came up here with the guys we chilled in the hot tub first thing," Jay explained, his cheeks reddening as he realized how dorky that sounded.

Erin caught on to his embarrassment and smiled. "That sounds perfect, let's go change," she began to walk back to the door.

"We have hot tub to ourselves – no, actually, we have an entire house to ourselves – and you're going to put on a bathing suit? Are you getting shy on me, Lindsay?" Jay raised his eyebrows as he pulled his shirt over his head.

"Oh, so that's how it's gonna be," she rasped, following his lead and pulling her shirt over her head, then removing her bra slowly and seductively.

"Mhmmmm," Jay groaned, walking over to her to help her with her pants. The rest of their clothes were shed in a whirlwind of hot kisses and quick hands, the hurricane ending when Jay lifted Erin gently and carried her down the stairs into the hot tub, her legs wrapped around his torso and his hands under her thighs.

Erin felt every muscle in her body relax when the hot water hit her body as she made herself comfortable on Jay's lap, sitting sideways with her legs sprawled over him along the bench of the tub. "So," she began, nestling her head into the crook of his shoulder and beginning to toy with the dog tags around his neck, "how many girls have you brought here?"

Jay let out a laugh as he twirled a piece of her hair around his fingers. "None."

Erin let go of his dog tags and looked up at him. "What? You love this place so much and you're telling me you've never been here with anyone else? What about Ally?"

"Erin," he said sternly. "Only you. This place is special to me, it's my childhood, it's my safe place. I've never even mentioned it to another girl, let alone considered taking someone else here,"

"Then why'd you tell me about it?" she asked, confused.

"Because Ally and all those other girls, they were fun, but I was never truly happy. That night I met you in Molly's, I knew you were the one. I've been hopelessly in love with you since about a month after I met you and even though you were so damn stubborn, I knew I wanted you here and I knew I was going to get you here. You're the only one I've ever wanted here, Er,"

Erin didn't have the words to answer him, so she just snaked her hands around his neck and pulled his lips to hers. It was a kiss thanking him for never giving up on her, a kiss apologizing for being so stubborn, a kiss telling him she loved him more than words could ever express.

"You knew you were gonna get me here, huh?" she asked with a laugh once she finally pulled away.

"Oh, definitely," Jay replied, causing Erin to laugh even harder as she laid her head back on his shoulder to look out the window, admiring the way the moon was now sparkling over the lake.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Their time in Wisconsin had gone way too quickly. Even though Erin was covered in mosquito bites head to toe, she wasn't ready to go back to reality in Chicago. Jay had shared stories of both his childhood and his time overseas with her and by the end of the week, he was back to his old self; having had come to terms that he could not have prevented Jacob from committing suicide and learning to focus on the happy memories he had with his friend. Erin had fallen in love with him even more that week, if that was even possible; between the way his eyes lit up while he was teaching her to fish in the lake and how he was as giddy as a little kid as they walked hand-in-hand to the center of town to visit the family owned stores he hadn't been to in years. Her heart swelled every time he introduced her as "my girlfriend Erin" and every time an old lady gave her a tight hug and told him how good he'd done and how he should never let her go. She swore it was going to burst every time he answered "I'm not planning on it" then gave her a kiss on the head.

"Erin!" she was broken from her thoughts by Jay calling her name by the door. "The car's packed, are you ready?"

"Coming!" she got up off the couch and met him at the door, where he stood with the keys in his hand.

"Can I drive?" he practically begged.

"Nope." Erin smiled sweetly as she grabbed the keys from his hand.

"Why? You don't even know where you're going!" Jay pouted.

"I have a GPS. And you don't know where we're going either," Erin smirked, walking past him and out the front door, leaving a very confused Jay behind her.

"What? We're going back to Chicago, aren't we? We have work tomorrow," he caught up with her in the driveway.

"Eventually," she grinned as she got into the driver's seat.

"What?" he asked again, earning an eye roll from Erin.

"Babe, shut up and get in the car," she ordered, and Jay couldn't even fight back because he was smiling too hard at the pet name Erin had just called him.

For the first hour of the drive, Jay was confused because they seemed to be following the route back to Chicago. He figured Erin had just been messing with him about going somewhere else, so he closed his eyes to try and sleep for some of the ride, mainly because he didn't want to listen to the awful pop music Erin had blasting from the radio but refused to change.

Erin smiled when she realized Jay was asleep; he couldn't be feeding into her plan any more perfectly. About an hour later she pulled into the parking lot of what was supposedly his favorite childhood restaurant in southern Wisconsin.

"Wake up, sleepy head," she reached over her center console to playfully hit her sleeping boyfriend's arm.

Jay's eyes slowly fluttered open and he looked around, confused. "Why are we here?"

"Because I'm hungry," Erin shrugged, playing dumb as she got out of the car. "You coming?"

Jay looked at her warily but followed her into the restaurant that he had begged to go to every Saturday night as a child. He was about to ask another question but was interrupted by someone screaming his name.

"Jay!" Mrs. Halstead came running from a table in the back of the restaurant, enveloping her son in a hug. Jay's jaw dropped and he looked over his mom's shoulder to Erin, who was beaming at him as she stood next to his father.

"Er…" he started as he pulled away from his mother and moved towards his girlfriend and father.

"You didn't think I was going to let you leave Wisconsin without seeing your parents, did you? I know how much you've missed them and how hard it is to get up here with work," Erin interrupted him with her explanation, moving out of the way so he could hug his dad.

Jay just shook his head, wondering how he'd gotten so lucky as they followed his parents back to their table.

"Can you believe Will and Natalie's wedding was six months ago today?" Mrs. Halstead asked, taking a sip of wine. "It feels like yesterday,"

Jay smiled at the memory of his brother's wedding when a realization hit him. "That means today is our six month anniversary," he blurted out to Erin, whose eyes widened as she shot him a look. His confusion only lasted for a second when he realized that Erin had been his pretend girlfriend at the wedding and his parents probably thought they'd been together for a lot longer than six months.

"What?" his mom asked, confused. Erin gave him another look that let him know he had to get out of this one on his own.

"Um…" Jay stammered, realizing there was no way out of this one and he'd have to go with the truth. "When Erin came to Will's wedding, we weren't really dating. She actually only showed up because she didn't want to hear me complain about you hounding me about still being single…"

"Jay, you know you didn't have to drag the poor girl along to impress me! I'm sorry, Erin," Mrs. Halstead began to apologize, causing Erin to shake her head.

"No, no, no," Erin smiled. "Me going to the wedding with Jay turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. So thank you?" Her smile widened as she felt Jay's hand on her leg under the table.

"So six months…" Jay's dad chimed in, "You finally got the balls to ask her out on the night of Will's wedding? You've talked about her every time you've called on the phone for the past three years, and you just went for it six months ago?"

Erin snorted as Jay's cheeks reddened. "Three years, huh, Halstead?"

"My partner this… my partner that…" his dad continued to joke. Erin was laughing so hard her eyes were tearing, but she kept her hand steadily intertwined with Jay's as they rested on her lap.

Jay breathed a sigh of relief as he saw the waitress approaching with their food. As they ate, the conversation moved from Erin and Jay's relationship to work, family, and everything in between. Jay loved how much his parents loved Erin and even though he pretended to be offended when the three of them ganged up on him, he secretly adored it. He also loved how Erin wasn't trying to impress his parents (even though they were very much impressed by her) and she wasn't afraid to speak her mind in front of them.

Before they knew it, all of the food in front of them was gone and it was time to finish the journey back to Chicago so Jay and Erin could get back to work tomorrow. The four of them left the restaurant together before stopping in front of Erin's car to say goodbye.

Jay's mom leaned into hug Erin, squeezing her tight. "Thank you for being there for him," she whispered in the young woman's ear.

"Always." Erin pulled back, smiling. She said her goodbyes to Jay's father and then her and Jay were alone again.

"You wanna drive?" she asked, dangling the keys over the hood of the car.

"Really?" Jay's eyes lit up as he reached for them, half-expecting her to pull them away but he was pleasantly surprised when she dropped the metal key ring in his hand.

Erin got in the passenger side and grabbed Jay's free hand as soon as she buckled her seatbelt and the car began to move. She intertwined their fingers and let out a sigh of contentment as she watched the trees whiz by out the window, smiling when she saw the _Welcome to Illinois_ sign.

She was in such a good mood she didn't mind Jay's awful radio station at first, but after a while she couldn't take it anymore and lowered the volume.

Jay glanced at her and was probably about to say something but she beat him to it. "So, three years?" she asked, smirking.

"You're never gonna let that go, are you?" Jay tried to act annoyed but couldn't hide his smile because when he started telling his parents the stories of his partner three years ago, he never would've imagined they would come this far. Despite what he'd told Erin earlier in the week, he wasn't sure he'd ever get through to her stubborn mind and get her to go against Voight. "Happy six months, by the way,"

Erin immediately stopped her teasing and turned in her seat so she was facing Jay, who was smiling but keeping his eyes on the road. His eyes were bright and he was intensely focused on driving, determined not to give Erin anything to make fun of him about. "Happy anniversary, you dork," she laughed as she brought their still intertwined hands up to her lips and kissed his knuckles.


	13. Chapter 13

"Halstead, Lindsay. Nice of you to join us again," Voight greeted the two detectives as they entered the bullpen the following morning.

"Hank," Erin smiled at her father figure as she made her way over to her desk and sat down as Jay went into the break room to get them coffee.

"Briefing is in five minutes," the sergeant informed before disappearing into his office.

Jay exited the break room with two mugs in his hand and perched himself on the edge of Erin's desk, handing her a mug. Erin gratefully accepted the hot liquid and took a sip, smiling when she realized that Jay knew exactly how to make her coffee. "Thank you," she smiled up at him as he made his way over to his desk for the briefing.

"Adam Jackson," Voight slapped a picture up on the board.

"Burgess and I put him away when I was on patrol," Atwater realized when he saw the familiar face. "Attempted homicide."

"Yes you did," Voight nodded, then continued. "He's out now. But he's the suspect in the murder of Jennifer Springer, who was killed last night." He slapped another picture on the board, of a woman with a bullet in her head, earning gasps from the team. "Jackson is her ex-boyfriend. They were together before he went to Stateville and she visited him weekly until he got out last month. CI of mine told me she broke up with him about two weeks ago because he was acting differently once he got out of jail. We have no information on his whereabouts so right now our main priority is finding Adam Jackson. Mouse, track his phone and find his plate number. Halstead and Lindsay, go sit on his apartment. O and Ruzek, go talk to his boss. Atwater and Dawson, help Mouse then get traffic camera footage of all major roads leaving Chicago." Voight barked orders before returning to his office.

"I hate stakeouts," Erin groaned as she followed Jay into the locker room.

"Me and you, stuck in a car together? I could think of worse ways to spend my day." He smirked as he handed her the keys to the 300.

Erin rolled her eyes but couldn't help but smile. "That was smooth," she stood on her toes to press a quick kiss to his lips before they left the locker room.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

"It's been four hours. There's no one here, and I have to pee," Erin complained, putting down the camera she was holding and pouring the remainder of her coffee into her mouth.

"Then stop drinking," Jay suggested, laughing at his girlfriend's boredom.

"There's nothing else to do," she whined, throwing the empty cup into the backseat of the 300, much to Jay's dismay.

"I can think of a few things," Jay removed the binoculars from his eyes and winked at her.

"Jay!" Erin reached to her right and playfully slapped his arm. "Don't tease me like that. I just spent nearly a week being able to touch you and kiss you whenever I want, do you know how hard this is right now? Being professional sucks."

"I've been telling you that for two years," Jay leaned across the console and placed a kiss on Erin's cheek. "The P-word is the worst word."

"Ugh," Erin reached out and placed a hand on the back of Jay's head, holding him in place against her cheek. Their moment was interrupted when her cellphone began ringing. She let go of Jay and put the phone on speaker. "Lindsay,"

"Hey, kid. We got a location, you and Halstead come back to the district." Hank's voice rang through the other end of the phone.

"Got it, see you soon," she hung up and turned the car around.

When Jay and Erin got back to the precinct, the rest of the team was already there, crowded around the white board.

"Atwater, when you arrested Jackson, do you remember who he tried to kill?" Voight asked.

"His girlfriend. Not Springer, I guess the one before that." Atwater answered.

"Sooo this guy just gets into relationships to kill his girlfriend?" Erin asked, raising her eyebrow.

"Seems that way. Mouse pinged his phone at a bar in the West Loop, my guess is he's looking for his next girlfriend-turned-victim." Voight explained.

"So what's the plan, Sarge?" Halstead asked.

"We just need to get him down here and into the cage to get something to tie him to Springer's murder. I know he did it but we don't currently have any hard evidence and I don't wanna just go barging into the bar. So, Lindsay, I'm sending you undercover to the bar. Talk to him, make him feel comfortable. When you signal, we'll move in and arrest him." Voight looked to his pseudo-daughter.

"No way." Halstead shook his head. "You're sending her into a bar with a man specifically looking for women to kill!?"

"Jay!" Erin shot him a look, shocked. He had never fought Voight like this before, nor had he ever had an issue with her going undercover. "I'll go change," she nodded to Hank, her eyes begging him not to fight with Halstead.

Jay followed Erin into the locker room. "Are you crazy?"

"What is your problem? He dates the girls before he kills them, he's not gonna try anything on me the night we meet! Besides, we're going to be in a crowded bar and you'll all be right outside." Erin fired back, taking the short dress she used for undercover operations out of her locker.

"Erin, the guy's crazy! Regardless of when he did it, he's tried to murder at least two women!"

"Since when do you have a problem with this, Jay? I've been undercover before!" Erin tried not to raise her voice, but she was getting angry at her boyfriend for doubting her abilities.

"Because I love you, Erin! I'm in love with you. So call me crazy if I don't want to watch the woman I love spend the night flirting with a murderer." Jay threw his hands in the air.

"Jay…" Erin felt the anger evaporate from her body. She closed her locker and moved so she was standing in front of him, then placed one hand on his cheek to force him to look her in the eyes. "It's going to be quick and it's going to be fine. Want to know how I know that?" she asked softly, her voice the complete opposite of moments ago.

Jay didn't say anything, so she continued. "Because I have the best backup waiting right outside. Okay?"

Jay sighed, but nodded. He placed his hand over hers on his cheek and leaned down to kiss her forehead. "Just… be safe. I'll let you get ready and meet you in the garage with the rest of the team." He pulled away from her and began to walk out of the locker room.

"Babe?" Erin called before he made it to the door, and Jay turned around. "I love you too,"

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Erin walked into the bar alone, looking around for Jackson. She spotted him quickly, as he was one of the only males in the bar. He was sitting on a barstool, surrounded by a group of girls much younger than him. Erin sighed and made her way closer to him, sitting on a barstool a few down from him. She would never admit it, but she hated working without having Jay as backup. She loved undercover, but not without him. It could be the simplest mission, such as this one, but she just never felt completely safe. The bartender approached and she ordered a vodka soda to blend in, stealing occasional glances at Jackson. She took a long sip of her drink then turned her body so she was facing the suspect and leaned on the bar, putting her cleavage on full display. Jay cringed inside the surveillance van, but Erin's plan worked and within seconds, Jackson was approaching her.

"I'm Adam," he walked up to her, taking a seat on the barstool next to her.

"Erin," she smiled at him as he reached over and squeezed her shoulder, despite the nauseous feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"What's a pretty girl like you doing here, drinking alone?" he asked.

"I'm not alone anymore," she raised her eyebrow and smirked at Jackson before taking another sip of her drink, savoring the burning sensation as the vodka slid down her throat. "A handsome man like you has no girl waiting for him at home?"

"Just went through a bad breakup," he signaled the bartender.

"I'm sorry," Erin reached out to touch his hand. In the surveillance van, Jay's foot was tapping so nervously that Mouse had to slap him.

"It was real bad," Jackson took a pull from the beer the bartender had just placed in front of him. "Really _killed_ me, if ya know what I mean." Erin felt chills down her spine as he put emphasis on that word.

"Did she break up with you?" Erin pressed.

"Yeah, but I taught her a lesson," Jackson's eyes darkened and Erin decided she'd heard enough. She reached behind her ear, pretending to move a piece of hair out of her face, and pressed the button on her earpiece to send a signal to the rest of the team outside.

"How so?" she asked with a shaky voice, trying to keep her façade until the team came in, but the maniacal look crossing his face was making it difficult.

Jackson stood up so he was towering over Erin, looking down at her with a fire in his eyes. "I-" He was interrupted by Voight's voice and Erin breathed a sigh of relief.

"Chicago PD!" Her father figure was at her side almost immediately, followed by Dawson and Atwater who quickly cuffed a screaming Jackson.

"You stupid bitch!" he screamed at Erin, and Voight placed a supportive hand on the small of her back.

"You did good, kid. Halstead's outside in the van," he whispered to her, giving her a gentle shove towards the door as he moved forward to take care of the suspect.

Erin quickly made her way out the door to get away from Jackson's screams. She spotted the van parked in the lot and saw Jay getting out, arms open as he moved toward her. He enveloped her in a hug and placed a kiss into her hair.

"See? That was nothing," she mumbled into his chest, but she knew he could feel how fast her heart was beating as she struggled to get the inhumane look in Jackson's eyes out of her head.

"Mhmmm," Jay hummed into her hair, tired of arguing with her about this. He placed a final kiss in her hair before letting her pull away, seeing Voight approaching the team after throwing Jackson in the back of his car.

"Al and I are gonna go throw him in the cage, the rest of you go home. I'll see you all at 8:00 tomorrow," their boss ordered and the team happily obliged.

"Come over?" Erin asked as Jay threw his arm around her shoulder and they began to walk to the 300 parked down the street.

"I was planning on it even if you didn't ask me," Jay smirked as she got into the drivers seat.

"Why don't you just move in?" she blurted out once he got in the car. She wasn't sure where the sudden burst of courage to ask came from; her head was definitely a little messed up due to the images of a psychopath floating around in it but she'd never been more sure of anything in her life.

"What?" Jay asked, shocked. "Are you serious?" Nothing would make him happier, but he never imagined his commitment-phobe girlfriend would be the one to make the jump to the next step in their relationship.

"Yeah," Erin turned to smile at him. "You spend the night most nights anyway, and when you don't, it's usually because I'm at your place. And you mentioned that your lease is up soon anyway. I mean, unless you don't want to or-"

"Er, stop rambling," Jay leaned across the console to capture her lips.

"Is that a yes?" she asked as he pulled away.

"I would love nothing more than to move in with you, Erin Lindsay," Jay smiled and reached for her right hand to intertwine their fingers as she began to drive in the direction of her- _their-_ apartment.


	14. Chapter 14

"Last one!" Erin announced with a smile as she dropped the final box of Jay's belongings onto the floor of her apartment. "Who knew you had so much stuff? Seeing as you wear the same two shirts everyday, I never would've guessed," she teased her boyfriend.

"I could wear no shirt," Jay smirked, lifting the hem of his shirt and beginning to pull it over his head.

"Don't you dare," Erin quickly crossed the room and slapped his hand off his shirt.

"Why not?" Jay challenged, raising his eyebrow as he grabbed her hand.

"Because," she whined, "then you're gonna be all hot and sexy and these boxes are never going to get unpacked."

"Are you saying I'm not sexy with clothes on?" Jay feigned hurt.

"Eh," Erin shrugged and stepped closer to him, pushing herself up on her toes so she was eye level with him. Leaning in, she stopped millimeters from his lips and whispered, "Easier to use self control," She tore her face away and sauntered over to the pile of Jay's stuff.

Jay groaned. "Can't we unpack tomorrow?"

"Nope," Erin smirked and lifted up Jay's motorcycle painting, the only decoration she'd let him take. "Where do you want this?"

Jay strode across the room and took the painting out of Erin's hands, putting it back on the floor. "I don't care. I want _you_ in the bedroom," Wanting to tease her like she'd just done to him, he lifted his shirt and pulled it all the way off this time.

"I hate you," Erin said with a smile, running her hands down her boyfriend's newly revealed abs.

"I love you," Jay mumbled, wrapping his hands around her tiny waist to pull her into him and crashing his lips to hers. Within seconds, he accomplished his plan of getting her into the bedroom.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

"If this is what living with you is like, I'm never going to get anything done." Erin whined afterwards as they lay in bed, snuggling further into Jay's chest.

"Fine by me," Jay placed a kiss into Erin's hair as he tightened his hold on her. They were interrupted by a harsh, incessant knocking on the front door.

Erin groaned as she pulled her shirt back over her head and slipped out from under the covers to find her pants. "I'm going to kill whoever this is," she grumbled as she made her way out of the bedroom.

Jay heard the front door open and nearly had a heart attack when he heard Erin greet their guest.

"Hey, Hank," she feigned happiness as she pulled her father figure in for a hug. "What are you doing here?"

"What, a guy can't stop by to see his kid? We haven't gotten a chance to catch up outside of the district since you got back from Wisconsin, I wanted to hear about your trip." Hank paused when he saw the piles of boxes behind Erin. "Are you moving or…?"

 _"Fuck,"_ Erin thought. She'd never told Hank that Halstead was moving in with her. "No, uhm, actually… Jay moved in with me…"

Jay had been redressing to go into Erin's living room and greet their boss, but quickly changed his mind when he heard the conversation in the other room.

"What?" Hank spat. "Were you planning on telling me?"

"Of course," Erin sighed nervously. "Like you said, we haven't had a chance to talk in awhile."

"Where's Halstead now?" Hank looked around the apartment like he expected Jay to crawl out from under Erin's couch.

"He's, uh, he ran to the store to get a few storage containers," Erin quickly blurted out the first lie she could think of to avoid Hank finding out that he was actually naked in her bed.

"Then why are both of your cars in the parking lot?" Hank challenged and Erin internally groaned. Of course he'd checked the lot before he came up to her apartment.

"He walked?" Erin said weakly, knowing she was caught.

"Erin," Hank gave her a look that took her back fifteen years to when she'd drunkenly tried to sneak back into his house after being out at a party and he'd caught her. "Are you happy?"

"What?" she asked, caught off guard by his question. "Yes. Of course. I'm happier than I've been in a long time, Hank."

'That's all I care about. I'll never be thrilled about two of my detectives playing house, but I haven't seen you smiling like this since before Camille died. And if Halstead is the reason, I'm glad he moved in here." Hank reached out to squeeze Erin's shoulder reassuringly.

"Thank you," Erin smiled as she placed a hand on top of his. That wasn't how she'd expected the conversation to go, but she definitely wasn't complaining.

"Now go get your boyfriend out of your bedroom and tell him to get dressed because we're going out to lunch." Hank smirked as he moved to sit down on Erin's couch.

Erin gasped and felt her cheeks redden. Even at thirty years old, having a detective as a father figure was clearly never going to get easier. "Yes sir," she mumbled, disappearing down the hallway.

When she walked into her bedroom, Jay's face was equally as red as hers. "You heard that?" she asked, scrunching her nose.

"Every word," Jay couldn't help but laugh at her face. "Did you mean what you said? About being happy?" he asked as he stood up, walking over to where Erin stood by the door.

"Are you kidding?" Erin asked, reaching up to wrap her arms around his neck. "Of course I meant it. You make me happier than I ever thought possible, Jay. I love you." She pecked his lips softly, overly aware of Hank's presence just down the hall.

"I love you baby," Jay pressed a kiss to her forehead once she pulled away. "Now let's go before Voight gets the wrong idea." He grabbed Erin's hand to lead her out of the bedroom.

"Too late for that," she mumbled, letting out a quick laugh as she felt Jay nervously grip her hand harder.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

 _One month later…._

"Er, you got mail from Bunny!" Jay yelled down the hall, placing the envelope down on the counter.

"What?" Erin emerged from the bedroom with a confused look on her face. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I can read, ya know," Jay rolled his eyes as he tossed the envelope at his girlfriend like a Frisbee.

"Ass," she mumbled just loud enough for him to hear, looking up at him with a smirk as she tore open the envelope. Her smile quickly dropped as she read the contents of the mail.

"What is it?" Jay asked, concern evident in his voice.

"I can't believe this," she nearly whispered, not removing her eyes from whatever was on the paper.

"Erin," Jay repeated, walking over to where she stood. "What is it?"

Unable to find words, Erin handed the envelope over to him and brushed past him, throwing herself down on the couch and burying her head in her hands. Jay quickly reopened the envelope and pulled out the contents: a wedding invitation. He sighed and made his way over to the couch, sitting next to Erin and pulling her into him. She tried to resist at first, but quickly gave up the fight and buried her head into Jay's chest.

"Why does she keep doing this?" she mumbled into Jay's chest as he stroked her hair. "What does she expect from me? I couldn't even tell you the last time I spoke to her, and now she's inviting me to another wedding? I don't want to go, she doesn't deserve to have me there, but I'm gonna look like the bad guy if I don't show," Jay's heart broke as he felt Erin's tears soaking through his shirt.

"Shhhh, Er, it's okay," he tried to soothe her. "You're not going to look bad if you don't go, no one will blame you. And no one will judge you if you do want to go, because she's your mom and I know how big your heart is. Whatever decision you make, I got you."

Erin sighed and tried to snuggle further into Jay's chest. As much as every part of her brain was screaming at her to say no, she knew she would end up at Bunny's wedding in hopes of having a real relationship with her mother, just as she had the four weddings prior. "Will you come with me?" she whispered so quietly she was unsure if Jay even heard her.

"You're not seriously asking me that question,"

Erin's head shot up from Jay's chest, confusion written all over her face. "I'm sorry, I just thought-"

"Erin," Jay interrupted her, cupping her cheek to force her to look into his eyes. "I would never let you go alone. Besides, I never pass up a chance to wear one of my nice suits,"

Erin couldn't help but laugh. That's what she loved about Jay – well, one of many things. No matter how bad things seemed, he always knew how to put a smile on her face and make her believe that maybe, just maybe, everything would work out.

"Plus, weddings are our thing, ya know. Look how well the last one we went to turned out," he continued, winking at her.

Erin's smile stayed plastered to her face at the memory of Will's wedding. "Do you ever think about what things would be like if I didn't show up for Will's wedding? Like what if I didn't call you that morning or if Hank didn't give me the day off?"

Jay dropped his hand from her face and shook his head as if to physically shake the thought out of his mind. "Why would I ever want to think about that?"

"I dunno," Erin shrugged, not really wanting to think about it either. "It's just weird how one little decision like that can change your life forever,"

"Yeah," Jay agreed. "What if I never took that last tequila shot at Molly's that night? I never would've had the balls to call Voight and declare my love for you without it."

Erin snorted. "Yeah, most girls aren't a fan of getting phone calls to come pick a drunk guy up from the bar at 2am… but I'm glad you made that stupid decision as well,"

"Oh, now you're calling me stupid?" Jay stuck his tongue out at her.

"In the most loving way," she smirked. "What are you going to tell our kids when they ask how we got together? 'Oh, kids, one night I blacked out at the bar and called Grandpa Hank at 1am to beg him to let me date your mom?' You're going to set such a good example, babe."

Even though Erin was making fun of him, Jay couldn't help but beam at how easily she mentioned having a family together. "Oh no, no. I'm going to tell them that their mom wanted me so bad she drove all the way to Wisconsin to pretend to be my girlfriend."

"Key word: pretend! You made the first move!" Erin insisted through a fit of laughter.

"I did not!" Jay shot back. "You totally jumped me in the middle of the dance floor because you got all territorial when Ally showed up!"

Erin groaned, remembering that he was right. "Are you complaining?"

"Not at all," Jay leaned down to press a quick kiss to her lips. "That was the moment I knew I wanted to kiss these lips forever,"

"Even after I drag you to my junkie mom's sixth wedding?" Erin sighed, remembering the basis of their conversation.

"Especially then." He leaned in to peck her lips again.

"Thank you," she mumbled against his lips as she deepened the kiss.

"Always, Er." Jay promised.


	15. Chapter 15

_Hi guys! This is a loooong chapter, so enjoy :) also while you're reading, try to think of some ideas of where you want this story to go next and leave your ideas in the reviews or message me because I love hearing your ideas and feedback! Thanks friends, happy reading! xo_

The weeks leading up to Bunny's wedding hit Intelligence hard, with a new, heavy case coming in nearly everyday. Erin was exhausted in every sense of the word – mentally, physically, emotionally, you name it – and the thought of her mother's wedding looming in the back of her mind wasn't helping. By the time Friday night rolled around, Erin wanted nothing more than to run out of the district, curl up in her bed, and never come out from under the covers.

"Alright guys, get out of here. We've finally closed all open cases and most of you, except Ruzek, turned in your paperwork, so take the weekend off. I'll see you Monday," Voight's voice boomed as he exited his office and Erin breathed a sigh of relief as she reached across her desk to power down her computer.

"Wanna pick up Chinese on the way home?" she heard her favorite voice ask and looked up to see Jay standing over her desk.

"I have to go get a dress for tomorrow," she smiled weakly. "Why don't you go to Molly's with the guys?"

A look of concern washed over Jay's face as he took a seat on the corner of her desk. "I'll come with you. We can stop and grab food on the way home."

Erin shook her head. "You hate shopping. Besides, at least one of us should be able to celebrate surviving the past few weeks from hell." She offered him another smile, but once again it didn't reach her eyes.

"Babe," Jay quickly glanced around the bullpen to ensure no one was listening to their conversation, but all of their coworkers had either left or were in the locker room preparing to leave, so he reached down to grab Erin's hands. "You have like a million dresses at home, why don't you wear one of those? Then we can go to Molly's together. Or we can just go home, if you want."

Erin sighed and stood up, ripping her hands from Jay's. She knew she was being ridiculous, but she didn't want his concern right now. "I don't like any of those. Just go to Molly's, okay?" she said coldly, brushing past him to go get her keys from the locker room.

Jay groaned and brought a hand to his forehead, rubbing his eyes. He knew Erin was exhausted, he was too, and freaking out about the wedding tomorrow, but he wished she'd stop taking it out on him. All he wanted to do was follow her into the locker room and hug her and promise her that everything was going to be okay, but he knew that she would just push him away and yell at him some more, so he stayed put in the bullpen. He heard the locker room door shut and silently prayed Erin would appear back in front of him and sighed disappointedly when Ruzek came into view.

"Molly's?" the young officer asked Jay.

Knowing that was his best bet to avoid a fight with Erin that night, he nodded and followed Adam down the stairs and out of the precinct.

Erin breathed a sigh of relief when she walked out of the locker room to an empty bullpen. She knew she was intentionally hurting Jay, but it was the only way she knew how to deal with the Bunny situation, so she figured a night at Molly's with the guy would be better for him than sitting in their apartment and watching her sulk all night.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Erin walked into the first dress shop she saw on Michigan Avenue and bought the first one she tried on, not at all in the mood to shop. Part of her wished she brought Jay or even Kim with her, but a bigger part of her was thankful they were out having fun instead of dealing with her dragging them down. She left the store and had every intention of going back to her apartment and crawling into her bed, but as she drove past bar after bar, her desire for a drink became overwhelming. She couldn't go to Molly's and deal with the worried stares from the unit, so she pulled over in front of the next bar she saw and walked inside. It was dark and smoky, and every sensible part of Erin was telling her to swallow her pride, drive to Molly's, and slip into a booth next to her boyfriend, but she couldn't.

She walked up to the bar and sat down at a stool directly across from the bartender. "Whiskey. Neat." She ordered, dropping her money on the bar and lifting her hands to rub her temples.

"Rough day?" A voice next to her asked, and Erin turned her head slightly to see a man sitting down on the stool next to her.

"Rough day, rough week, rough month, whatever." She mumbled, emptying her glass in one gulp. "Can I have another?" she asked, turning her attention from the man next to her back to the bartender.

"Woah girl, slow down," the man raised his eyebrows in concern as Erin emptied half of her new drink. Erin just rolled her eyes at him, not even offering a response. "What's a beautiful lady like you doing here alone, drinking like that?"

Erin rolled her eyes again but decided to humor him with a response. "I have a few things to forget about." She signaled the bartender for another drink.

xoxoxoxoxo

Jay sat at Molly's pretending to listen to Antonio's story about his son's school play, but he couldn't stop his mind from wandering to Erin. She wasn't answering his messages and he just hoped it was because she was busy shopping.

"Halstead? You good, man?" Antonio asked at the conclusion of his story, realizing Jay hadn't heard a word he'd said.

"Yeah. Yeah, that's… funny. Good for Diego." Jay fake-smiled and took a sip from his beer bottle.

Antonio rolled his eyes at the younger detective. "What's up?"

"Nothing." Jay insisted.

"Damn, Lindsay's right, you are a horrible liar. Where is Lindsay, anyway?" Ruzek chimed in.

Jay opened his mouth to respond, but no words came out.

"Oooh, there it is!" Antonio exclaimed. "Trouble in paradise?"

"No!" Jay quickly erased that thought from everyone's minds. He sighed, knowing he had to come clean now. "Her mom is getting married again tomorrow and she's taking it really hard."

"Good old Bunny." Antonio made a face. "So she's struggling and you're here because…?"

"Because she won't talk to me and keeps telling me she wants to be alone."

"And you believe her?" Antonio raised an eyebrow. "When you tell people you want to be alone, do you really mean it? No. You don't want to bother them, but you want them to fight enough to stay with you."

Jay sighed, guilt bubbling all over again. "She told me to come here."

"And I'm telling you to go get your girl." Antonio fired back, protective of the girl he thought of as his little sister.

As if on cue, Jay's phone rang and his heart leapt when his girlfriend's name flashed across his screen. "Babe," he answered, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Is this Jay Halstead?" a deep voice on the other end, definitely not Erin's, asked.

Jay felt his heart drop. "Yes… who is this?"

"My name is Dan, I was talking to Erin at the bar and she's had way too much to drink. I didn't know who to call and you're her emergency contact…" the guy on the other end began to nervously ramble, making Jay's heart pound even faster.

"I'm her boyfriend. Where are you?" Jay asked, running out of Molly's and leaving his concerned unit behind. Once he got the address of the bar, he got in the closest taxi and paid the driver $20 extra to step on it.

Jay was out of the taxi before it even came to a complete stop and he sprinted into the bar where Erin was. He saw her immediately, sitting with her elbows on the bar and her head in her hands.

"Er?" He said gently, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Her head shot up immediately and her eyes filled with tears at the sight of him. "Jay!" she launched herself off of the barstool and into his arms, wrapping her own arms tight around his neck. "I'm so sorry," she mumbled into his neck.

"Baby, it's okay." Jay whispered into her hair, blaming himself for letting her get like this. He should've gone shopping with her. He should've made her come to Molly's with him. He should've made her talk about Bunny's wedding. He should've done anything but left her alone. "Let's go home, okay?"

Erin nodded and moved her arms from around Jay's neck to around his waist, needing his help to steady herself as they walked out to her car. "I guess you can drive," she whispered, handing him the keys.

"Thanks, baby." Jay opened the passenger door and helped Erin get in, then fastened the seatbelt across her lap and placed a kiss on her forehead before closing the door and getting in on the driver's side.

"I'm sorry," she said again once Jay had begun driving back to their apartment.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Er. I know this is hard on you. It's been a rough few weeks at work and Bunny's wedding tomorrow isn't making it any easier on you." He reached across the console with his right hand to intertwine their fingers.

Erin just squeezed his hand in response, her brain too fuzzy to form a coherent sentence that would adequately tell him how grateful she was for him.

"I love you, Er, but talk to me next time you feel like this, okay? I never want to get another phone call like that again." Jay continued.

Erin nodded. "Okay," she whispered, not having the energy to say much more. She leaned her head against the cold window of her car and closed her eyes. "I love you too," she mumbled as she drifted off to sleep.

xoxoxoxoxo

Erin woke up with a throbbing in her head the next morning. She squeezed her eyes shut tighter, knowing the pain would only get worse when she faced the light pouring in through her windows and rolled onto her side, reaching over blindly to snuggle up against Jay, but she was met with cold sheets. Groaning, she slowly opened her eyes as the bedroom door opened and her boyfriend walked in with a glass of water in one hand and painkillers in the other. She smiled gratefully at him and slowly pushed herself up into a sitting position, trying to ignore the nauseous feeling in her stomach.

"Thank you," she whispered as he handed her the pills. She popped them in her mouth then took the water from him, taking a huge sip.

"Good morning. How do you feel?" Jay asked, leaning down to place a kiss into her hair.

Erin reached up and pulled him back down to the bed, pushing him down so he was laying on his back and she could snuggle into his chest. "Awful," she mumbled as she lay on top of him and tucked her head into the crook of his neck.

Jay laughed as he wrapped his arm around her tiny waist and buried his face in her hair.

"Thank you for coming to get me last night," she whispered into his neck.

"Never do that to me again. Please." Jay almost begged, tightening his hold around her waist.

"I promise. I'm sorry for taking everything out on you." Ignoring the way her entire body was screaming in pain, Erin propped herself up on her elbows to look at Jay. "Work was hard on everyone this month, not just me, and I was wrong to act like you didn't understand how exhausted I was. And the way I act when it comes to my mom… that's not fair to you either."

"Er, I don't want another apology. Just let me in, okay? Let me know what's going through that beautiful head of yours." Jay's eyes met hers and were full with so much love that Erin thought her heart was going to burst.

Erin dropped her head back down to his chest and nodded. "I'm good right now," she placed a kiss over his collarbone. "Really good. Just… don't let me push you away tonight, okay?"

"You got it." Jay soothingly rubbed his hand along Erin's back. He looked at the clock and sighed, knowing it was almost time to start getting ready for the wedding. "Now let's go get you some coffee for the sake of everyone else that needs to be around you tonight."

"Shut up," Erin laughed and slapped Jay's arm, but she knew he was right. She pushed herself back off of him, stopping mid-way to press a quick kiss to his lips, and slowly made her way up into a sitting position, praying the painkillers would kick in soon so she didn't have to face this already awful day with a hangover.

xoxoxoxoxo

"I think I'm ready," Erin announced in an uncharacteristically small voice as she stepped out of the bathroom.

"Fuck," Jay's jaw dropped when he saw his girlfriend emerge from the bathroom in a tight black backless dress that fell just above her knees. She was wearing red heels that made her legs look ten miles long, her hair fell to her shoulders in loose waves, and her makeup was perfected with a smoky eye and red lips. "Erin, you're beautiful."

Erin felt a wave of calm wash over her body at the sound of his voice. She quickly made her way across the bedroom to where he was standing by the bed, throwing herself into his embrace and wrapping her arms tight around his neck. "I'm scared, Jay," she whispered into his skin as he tightened his arms around her back.

"We don't have to go, Er. It's all up to you." Jay reminded her, his heart breaking for her. No one should be this hesitant about seeing her own mother.

"She's my mom, Jay." Her voice broke at the end of her statement and at this point Jay was sure his heart was shattered.

"I know, babe." He ran a hand up and down her back soothingly. "Remember what she did to you, though. I know you have a big heart, but no one is going to blame you for sitting this one out."

Erin shook her head as she squeezed her eyes shut, willing the tears not to fall so she didn't ruin her makeup or get mascara all over Jay's suit. "I have to go," she said, her voice slightly stronger than the last time she spoke.

"So let's go then. But whenever you want to leave, we're out of there. Okay?" Jay placed a kiss into her hair as he loosened his hold on her.

"Okay." Erin pulled away, but still needing to touch him to stay sane, grabbed his hand to lead him out of the apartment and down to the car.

Erin let Jay drive and thirty minutes later they pulled up to the hotel where the reception was being held. "Ready?" he asked, giving her hand a supportive squeeze once he parked the car.

"Mhmm," Erin hummed, squeezing back. They each got out of their respective sides and walked into the hotel lobby hand in hand.

"Banquet hall is this way," Jay read the sign and led her down the hall, the reception coming into view. "You got this, beautiful."

Erin smiled up at him gratefully as they walked into the room. Scanning the room, she didn't see anyone she recognized and she breathed a small sigh of relief.

"Erin! My baby!" A voice called out and Erin cringed when she saw her mother running over to her, new husband in tow. The older woman enveloped Erin in a hug, squeezing her tight.

"Hi mom." Erin gave her a tight-lipped smile as she pulled away. "This must be Johnny."

"It's nice to meet you, Erin. I've heard so much about you!" The older man reached out to give Erin a handshake and she tried not to laugh in his face. What could Bunny possibly have said about her? That she has a daughter who's also an ex-junkie and they've spoken twice in the past five years?

Erin felt Jay wrap a supportive arm around her waist and immediately put her hand on top of his. "Mom, Johnny, this is my boyfriend, Jay. Jay, this is Bunny and Johnny." She smiled up at her boyfriend as she introduced him, finding confidence by looking into his baby blue eyes.

"I didn't know you had a boyfriend, baby!" Bunny exclaimed, ignoring Jay's attempt at a handshake. "I told Landon you would be here, he's supposed to stop by."

"That's nice." Erin said coldly, tightening her grip on Jay's hand on her waist.

"It was really nice to meet you. We'll let you get back to greeting your guests now." Sensing how uncomfortable Erin was, Jay took her hand in his and began to pull her away towards their table.

"Thanks for coming, guys!" Johnny smiled, oblivious to the tension, as he pulled Bunny towards the next group of guests.

Once they reached their table, Jay sat down and Erin immediately fell into his lap. "You good?" he asked, unable to tell by her face if she was going to start screaming or burst into tears.

"Yeah," she took a deep breath as she leaned into Jay. "She's just so fake. She's told Johnny so much about me? She doesn't _know_ anything about me to tell him! I've talked to her two times since I've become a cop, Jay, both times because she needed money."

Jay listened to Erin's rant but didn't say anything, just kept a supportive hand on her thigh to let her know he was there.

"I need a drink." She decided once she finished.

Jay couldn't help but laugh at his frazzled girlfriend. "You told me this morning you were never drinking again."

"I changed my mind, smartass." Erin countered, thankful for her boyfriend's unwavering ability to lighten the mood no matter the situation.

"Well, I'd go to the bar, but there's this hot girl sitting on top of me and I can't really move…" Jay joked, squeezing Erin's thigh.

Erin rolled her eyes as she stood up then turned around to pull Jay up as well. "Come on, you jerk," she said with a smile as she took his hand and led him across the room to the open bar.

Jay didn't drink because he knew he'd have to get him and Erin home, but after a few glasses of wine Erin's stresses had melted away. Bunny hadn't returned to talk to her, Landon hadn't shown, and basically forgotten that she was at her mother's sixth wedding; she was merely thinking of it as a party with free alcohol.

"Can we dance?" she asked, pulling on Jay's hand once the third glass of wine began to kick in.

"I still don't dance, Lindsay," Jay tried to stand his ground, but they both knew that she had him wrapped around her finger and he would do anything that girl wanted.

"You said that at your brother's wedding. Then look what happened." Erin raised her eyebrow and bit her lip, eliciting a groan from Jay.

"To the dance floor!" Jay quickly stood up from his barstool and led Erin a few feet over to the wooden dance floor where a few other couples were swaying to the music.

"You're such a dork." Erin laughed as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling herself as close to him as possible.

"You're calling me lots of names tonight, Linds. I'm a little offended." Jay wrapped his hands around her waist, trying to pull her closer to him as well.

"I'm sorry," she smiled up at him as she moved her face closer to his until their noses were touching. "If it makes you feel any better, you're wearing a really nice suit," she rasped, her breath hot against his lips. Not waiting for a response, she closed the gap between them to capture his lips in a long, slow kiss.

"I love you," she said as she pulled away.

"I love you too, Er. Always."

"No, like I _really_ love you." Erin elaborated as Jay beamed. "I'm looking at my mom and her poor sixth husband and it just makes me so thankful that I found you. Bunny's married six guys and still isn't sure who she's going to spend the rest of her life with. I know she's never had _this_ feeling. The one that I have right now; the one that I swore never existed until eight months ago. I can't even put it into words… it's like feeling that I can do anything in the world when I look into your eyes. I can be having the worst day in the entire world, and all I have to do is look up at you or hear your voice and suddenly there's an entire family of butterflies flying around my stomach and I just want to smile. You're literally always on my mind; even when I'm trying to grocery shop for myself I see something and all I can think of is how much you would like it. It's just… when I'm with you, I feel so at home and so safe. More at home than when I moved into Hank's house and had my own room for the first time in my life and spent rainy days cuddled in bed with huge blankets watching movies with Camille. I am so madly in love with you and sometimes I wake up thinking this is all a dream because you're so perfect and I don't know what I ever did to deserve you. I love you _so fucking much,_ Jay. And I don't think anything I just said made any sense and you probably have no idea what I'm talking about, but I really needed you to know."

"Erin," Jay gasped, unable to find a single word to describe what he was feeling in that moment. He wasn't sure his heart could hold the amount of love he had for Erin Lindsay and he thought it was going to burst at any second. He tightened his hold around her waist, if that was even possible, and dropped his head into the crook of her neck, peppering kisses up her neck and chin until he reached her lips. "I know exactly what you're talking about," he whispered against her lips before capturing them again.

"You do?" Erin asked once she pulled away, out of breath.

"Yeah. Because that's the exact way I feel about you; those are the words I've been trying to find for not only the past eight months, but for the past two years."

Erin felt her eyes welling up with tears as she dropped her head into the crook of his neck and inhaled the familiar scent of his cologne. This was home, she was sure of it. "Can we go back to the apartment?" she mumbled into his neck, the need to be alone with him overwhelming.

"Of course." Jay placed a kiss into her hair before unwrapping his arms from around her waist. "Do you want to say goodbye to your mom?"

"I guess," Erin sighed, spotting Bunny and Johnny near the door. "Can you go get the car and I'll meet you out front? My feet are killing me."

"Yeah," Jay gave her shoulder a supportive squeeze as she began to make her way towards Bunny and her new husband.

"Hey guys, Jay and I are gonna head home." She smiled tightly as she approached them.

"Okay baby, thank you for coming." Bunny enveloped her in another hug but Erin still didn't react, standing there stiffly as her mother wrapped her arms around her. "I'm really happy for you, Erin. I can tell Jake loves you."

"Thanks." Erin said shortly, pulling away and not even bothering to correct her. "Bye Johnny, it was nice to meet you. Congratulations again, guys." She waved over her shoulder as she walked towards the door, positive that this marriage wouldn't last a month and once she left this building she wouldn't hear from her mother for another three years or until she found another new man she needed to impress. When she got outside, Jay was already waiting outside the car and holding Erin's door open for her.

"I'm so glad I found you. I couldn't imagine living my life like that." Erin admitted once they were both in the car driving to their apartment.

"You don't ever have to worry about that, Er. You saved me. This is it." Jay promised, reaching over to grab her knee with his free hand.

"Yeah," she whispered. "This is it." And suddenly, the future didn't sound so scary.

 _I had a lot of fun with this chapter between the angst and the fluff so I hope you guys enjoyed it! As I said earlier, PLEASE leave me ideas of where to take this next! Thanks for being the best readers :) xo_


	16. Chapter 16

"Voight." Hank finally gave in and picked up his phone when it rang for the third time in the past 20 minutes. _"So much for the day off,"_ he thought.

"Hey Hank, it's Greg Moore," a voice on the other end answered.

Hank raised his eyebrows, confused about why his old CI was calling him on a Sunday morning. "What's up?"

"Are you still working in the 21st district?" Greg asked.

"I'm the sergeant of Intelligence up there. Why are you calling me, Greg?" Hank asked, beginning to get frustrated.

"I don't know if you heard, but I'm back in Cook County. Anyway, I got a new cellmate a few weeks back, Adam Jackson? Said your district put him away."

"Yeah, murder. Why?" Hank's heart began to beat faster at the mention of Jackson.

"I heard him talkin' the other day and he was trying to plan a way to get revenge on a lady cop from the 21st who he thinks got him caught. And word is he, uh, escaped this morning. So you might want to give your district a heads up. I know I'm not your CI anymore, but I thought you should know."

Hank's world stopped at the mention of Jackson getting revenge on a "lady cop". That could only mean one person: Erin. "Thank you, Greg. I gotta go." He quickly hung up the phone and dialed Erin's number, praying his pseudo-daughter picked up.

"Dammit Erin," he muttered the second time he got her voicemail. Panicking, he dialed Halstead's number.

"Halstead." Jay's voice rang through the other end and Hank breathed a small sigh of relief.

"Halstead, where's Erin?" Hank pressed.

"Uhhhh, I'm not sure," Jay answered, confused. "I think she said something about going to the grocery store?" Truthfully, Jay had still been half asleep when Erin slipped out of bed and he hadn't been paying much attention to her early morning rambling.

Hank didn't respond, he just let out a deep sigh on the other end of the phone. "What's wrong?" Jay asked immediately, knowing that reaction from his sergeant was never good.

"How long has she been gone?" Hank asked.

Jay glanced at the clock – 11:38. Erin had woken him up at 8:00 when she was leaving and he'd fallen back asleep until his phone ringing woke him up two minutes ago. "Almost 4 hours… Voight, what's wrong?"

"Call the rest of the unit and meet me at the grocery store ASAP. Tell Antonio to call his sister and have an ambo meet us there. Jackson escaped from jail and put a hit out on Erin and I have a bad feeling about this."

Jay's heart dropped at his sergeant's words. "I'll be there in 10 minutes."

xoxoxoxoxo

By the time Jay arrived at the grocery store nearest to their apartment, Hank, Antonio, and Alvin were standing outside. Burgess and Roman were also outside working on crowd control, as the entire grocery store had been evacuated. Hank's gut had been right and there were reports of a man holding one female hostage inside.

"What's the plan?" Jay asked, running up to his team.

"Ruzek and Atwater are two minutes out. As soon as they get here, we're going in." Voight barked, the worry evident on his face. "Dawson's ambo is 5 minutes out so it'll be here by the time we get her out of there."

 _Inside…_

"You know my team is going to find me. There's six of them and one of you. Just give up now." Erin tried to keep a strong façade, despite being positive her heart was going to beat out of her chest at any given minute. She didn't know if her team was going to find her; she was pretty sure Jay wasn't even listening when she told him where she was going this morning.

"I'll take my chances." Jackson laughed as he loaded the bullets into his gun. "So, baby, do we wanna do this the easy or hard way?"

"Shut the fuck up." Erin snarled, backing up against the shelves as far as she could.

"Can't go anywhere, can you?" he continued to laugh as he cornered her. He wrapped his arms around her waist, bending his head to kiss her neck. "I've wanted to do this since you tried to trick me at the bar last month."

"Get off of me." Erin demanded, fighting back tears as she tried to push against him.

"Shhh, baby, just let it happen." He whispered into her neck, bile rising in Erin's throat every time his hot breath hit her neck.

"CHICAGO PD!" Erin breathed a sigh of relief when she heard glass shatter and her boyfriend's voice ring out.

Never letting go of her, Jackson repositioned himself so he was behind Erin and her back was to his chest. He grabbed the gun back out of his pocket, securing it against her temple. The tears that Erin had been holding back came flooding out as Jay and the rest of her team appeared in front of her, guns raised.

"Take one step closer to her and she dies."

"Erin, baby, it's going to be okay." Jay's heart was simultaneously beating out of his chest and breaking as his girlfriend stared at him with pleading eyes, completely helpless with a gun raised to her head.

"No it's not, _baby._ Don't let him fool you." Jackson clicked the gun into place.

As Jackson moved his arm to steady the weapon, Jay thought he saw an opportunity to knock it out of his hands. Voight was speaking but Jay couldn't focus on anything but the woman he loved with a gun to her head. Ignoring the orders Voight was barking at the team, he lunged forward and tried to hit the gun to the ground.

Two gunshots rang out, followed by the sound of Erin's screams.

Jay had knocked the gun out of Jackson's hands, but not before he pulled the trigger. As it was falling, the bullet hit Erin in the shoulder. The second Jackson's weapon was fired, Voight put a bullet in the criminal's head.

"Erin!" Jay screamed, dropping to his knees next to where his girlfriend had fallen to the ground. "I am so sorry," he said through tears, applying pressure to the bullet wound.

Erin smiled up at him sleepily, trying to focus on his beautiful blue eyes and not the fact that her shoulder felt like it was about to fall off of her body.

"Baby, I need you to stay awake. Look at me." Jay begged, trying to keep his eyes on her and not look at his hands that were quickly being dyed red. "Antonio, where's Gabby!?"

"On their way in now!" Dawson yelled back from where he stood over Jackson with Voight. Ruzek and Olinsky had gone outside and Atwater was taking pictures of the scene.

Erin was sure this was the end. It had only been a minute since the bullet entered her shoulder but she was positive she'd lost all the blood in her body. The pain was unbearable, her vision was fuzzy, and the task of keeping her eyes open for another second seemed impossible. "Jay," she tried to whisper, swallowing back down the blood that came up with her voice.

"Shhh, Er. Gabby and Sylvie are on their way in here right now. Everything's gonna be okay." Jay leaned down to place a kiss on her forehead, keeping his hands over the wound.

"I love you. Be happy, okay?" She choked on the blood coming up her throat, unable to swallow it back down anymore. "I want you to be happy. And have babies and take them to Wisconsin." She whispered the last part as her eyes fluttered shut.

"Erin, stop," Jay begged, hysterical at this point. "I'm going to have babies with you and we're going to take them to Wisconsin together because you're gonna be fine. I love you so much."

Gabby appeared behind Jay, all but throwing him out of the way as she and Sylvie moved in to tend to Erin.

"She's gonna be fine, Halstead." Hank placed a hand on Jay's shoulder to keep him out of the paramedics way, but he wasn't sure if he was saying it to convince Jay or himself.

"Is she?" Jay nearly screamed. "Because right now I'm looking at my best friend in the entire world bleeding out on the ground, and it's all my fault!" In his fit, Jay didn't even realize that Gabby had rolled the stretcher out of the store and outside into the ambulance.

"Halstead!" Voight screamed back. "Pull yourself together and get in the ambulance with her. I'll meet you at Med."

xoxoxoxoxo

Three hours and fifty four minutes. That's how long it was since the last time Jay saw his girlfriend. Almost four hours since he had to be restrained by three nurses to stop him from going into the trauma room with her. She'd coded twice in the ambulance but Gabby had managed to get her back both times. She had to be okay. Jay couldn't live in a world without Erin Lindsay. He didn't remember what his life had been like before her beautiful hazel eyes, huge heart, and one-of-a-kind personality came into it and he didn't want to learn. He needed her. He needed her more than he needed air to breathe.

He looked around the waiting room at his unit. Voight was pacing around the room, an unreadable expression on his face. Antonio was slumped in a chair with his head in his hands, whispering some type of prayer in Spanish. Alvin and his wife sat next to him, holding on to each other for dear life. Roman, Ruzek, and Atwater sat in the corner, mindlessly watching reruns of _That 70's Show_ that had been on the small TV since they'd arrived. Burgess was sitting on Ruzek's lap, her head buried in his neck. Every now and then her shoulders would shake with silent sobs. Everyone looked distraught, to say the least. Erin was the glue to their unit, the one who kept them all together when they had every right to be falling apart. She was the one who was always there for every single one of them no matter the circumstances, never expecting anything in return. She was the one who deserved the world, yet here they were, sitting in a hospital waiting room, unsure if she would make it through the night.

"Family of Erin Lindsay?" Dr. Rhodes entered the waiting area, his scrubs covered in blood. Erin's blood. Jay took a deep breath and stood up, along with every other member of the unit. "All of you?" Rhodes asked.

"Yes." Voight answered shortly. "This is Erin's family."

As Rhodes began to speak, Jay felt a comforting hand squeeze his shoulder and smiled at Burgess gratefully. "Erin was very, very lucky. When the bullet went through her shoulder, it ruptured her subclavian artery, which caused immense blood loss. The amount of blood that left her body should've left her dead on the spot, but she's a fighter. We lost her once on the table while removing the bullet but we got her back. We got the bullet and she's stable right now. The bullet also fractured her clavicle, so we had to put her arm in a sling."

"But she's going to be okay?" Jay choked out.

"She's going to be okay." Rhodes confirmed, smiling at the unit for the first time. "We're going to monitor her for the next few days to make sure nothing gets infected, but you have a fighter in there."

"Thanks, doc." Voight shook Dr. Rhodes' hand.

"Can we see her?" Jay asked, impatient.

"One or two of you for now. She's in room 218; she's currently asleep but the anesthesia from surgery should be wearing off in a few hours. She's on a very high dosage of pain medication so she might be a little fuzzy when she does wake up."

Each member of the unit gratefully thanked the doctor before he retreated down the hall.

"I want you all to go home. We know she's going to be okay and she won't be awake much tonight anyway, so you all get some rest. Come back to see her tomorrow if you want." Voight ordered his team.

"Sarge-" Jay began.

"Obviously not you, Halstead." Voight rolled his eyes at the younger detective. "I know you're not going anywhere. I need to go fill out the paperwork from this morning – you better be here when she wakes up, you hear me?"

"Of course." Jay nodded and took off running down the hallway without waiting for another word from his sergeant. He needed to find room 218.

Jay rounded the corner and Erin's room came into view. He slowly approached the door and his heart shattered when he saw the sight inside. His tiny girlfriend looked even smaller than normal in the middle of the huge bed. She was ghostly pale and the white sheets tucked over her didn't help. She was hooked up to more machines than Jay could count and the room was filled with a steady beeping, which did little to calm his nerves. He slowly entered the room and made his way over to her, sitting down in the chair next to her bed. He reached for her hand and breathed a sigh of relief when he felt her soft, warm skin; a reminder that she was still there. She was still with him.

"Erin," he whispered. "Baby, I don't know if you can hear me, but I am so, so sorry. I should have listened to Voight and I never should have lunged to hit the gun. Hell, I should've gotten out of bed this morning and gone to the store with you. You need to wake up soon, beautiful, because I need to see those pretty eyes and I need to hear your goofy laugh and see for myself that you're okay. I don't know what I would ever do without you, Er. I love you so much. We still have so much to do together. Please wake up." He lifted her hand up to his lips and gently placed a kiss on each knuckle. He studied her face, hoping to see her eye start to twitch or some type of sign that she could hear him; that she would come back to him, but she remained still other than the steady rise and fall of her chest. Jay sighed and turned his attention to the TV in her room that was playing a cartoon he'd never seen before, but he didn't dare let go of Erin's hand.

Jay was engrossed in a fourth episode of the mystery cartoon when he felt pressure on his hands. He turned to Erin and his jaw dropped when he saw her eyes open. "Oh my god," he gasped, standing up to drop a kiss on her forehead. "Hi, beautiful."

Erin didn't respond, just looked at him with wide eyes, almost pleading for something. Jay saw the cup of water on her bedside table and made the connection, picking up the cup and lifting the straw to Erin's lips. "Hi," she whispered when she finally could.

Jay's eyes filled with tears at the sound of her voice. "Thank God you're awake. How do you feel?"

"Like I just got shot." Erin tried to laugh, but quickly stopped when pain began radiating through her body.

"Too soon, baby. Too soon." Jay sat back down in the chair and intertwined their fingers again, never taking his eyes off of her.

"Sorry," she smiled sleepily.

"No, I'm sorry. I never should have tried-"

"Jay," she rasped. "It is not your fault." She gave him another small smile and just like that, drifted back to sleep, happy her boyfriend knew she didn't blame him.

The next time Erin woke up the room was dark and she figured it had to be the middle of the night. She looked around the room for a clock, but all she saw was a sleeping Jay. He was still sitting in the chair next to her bed, but he was bent over so his head was on her bed and his hand was still holding hers. To say he looked uncomfortable would be an understatement. Trying to wake him, she squeezed his hand with as much strength as she could muster.

Jay shot up immediately, a look of panic on his face. "What's wrong? Do you need a doctor?"

Erin shook her head, trying hard not to laugh. "No," she whispered, squeezing his hand again. "Just come here."

"Erin, I-"

"You won't hurt me. Come here," she whispered, reading his mind.

"Are you sure?" Jay asked, worry still strewn across his face.

"Don't make me ask again," Erin gave her best pouting face and Jay was up from his chair in an instant. He took off his shoes and gently got into bed on her good side, being careful of all of the wires and machines. She immediately snuggled into him, inhaling his cologne and savoring the warmth of his touch.

"I love you, Er," Jay whispered into her hair, lightly wrapping his arm around her to avoid hurting anything.

"I love you more," she mumbled into his chest, already on her way back to sleep and feeling better than she had all day.

 _Thank you all so much for your reviews and ideas last chapter! I was thinking about writing Erin getting hurt but wasn't sure if you guys wanted it so thanks for letting me know! As always, any other ideas just review or send me a message; hope you all enjoyed this chapter :) xo_


	17. Chapter 17

"Bye, beautiful," Jay leaned down and dropped another kiss onto Erin's forehead. Not even opening her eyes, Erin mumbled something incoherent and reached her good arm up to pull Jay down in an effort to get him back in the bed with her. She had finally been released from the hospital yesterday and she hadn't realized just how much she'd missed being snuggled up to Jay in their huge, warm bed.

"Er," Jay groaned, putting a hand out to stop himself from falling on her. "I'm gonna be late for work,"

Erin opened her eyes and her lips curled into a smile when she saw her boyfriend's face just inches from hers. "But I'm gonna be so bored here all alone today," she whined, giving Jay the puppy dog eyes she'd perfected in the past few months. Erin was just doing this to see how he'd react; in reality she didn't mind having her apartment to herself today, anything was better than the hospital room she'd spent the last week in.

"I know, babe. Why don't you stop by the district for lunch today? That way I won't have to give my daily update on you and they can all see for themselves," Jay suggested.

"Are you suggesting this because you want to see me, or because you're lazy and you want free food?" Erin joked, reaching up and running her thumb over the stubble on his cheeks.

Jay rolled his eyes but couldn't help the smirk that formed on his face. "I'll even pay for the food, Er. Just be there at 1, okay?" he pressed a quick kiss to her lips.

"I'll be there," she promised. "Be safe today."

"Always," Jay finally stood straight up to get ready to leave. "Gotta be extra careful without my backup."

"I'll be back soon," Erin vowed, her hand subconsciously moving up to rub the scar near her collarbone.

"I know you will. I love you," Jay turned to leave the bedroom.

"I love you more," Erin smiled, watching him leave. "Jay?"

"Yeah?" he asked, turning back around.

"One more?" she winked, puckering her lips like a child.

Jay shook his head but was back at her side in a second, unable to ever say no to her, especially that. He leaned in to meet her lips again. "This is gonna be one long medical leave," he sighed against her lips.

Erin just laughed as he pulled away. "See you at one. Now go before you're late and Hank gets mad," she playfully pushed him away, leaving him shaking his head again.

"Bye, Er,"

"Bye, babe."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Lindsay! We've missed you around here." Platt offered a rare smile as the detective walked into the precinct for the first time in over a week. "When are you back for good?"

"I have a follow up with my doctor in two weeks then we're gonna go from there," Erin smiled back at the desk sergeant, not because she was happy about being out of work for at least two more weeks but out of pure happiness of being back in her district.

"Hurry back. It's no fun picking on Chuckles alone." Platt winked at her and Erin just shook her head as she scanned her palm and walked up the stairs into the bullpen.

"Linds!" Ruzek exclaimed, being the first to see her as he was looking around the room instead of doing his paperwork. Upon hearing Adam's greeting, the rest of the team's heads shot up and they all stood up to hug and greet Erin.

"You look good, kid." Olinsky smiled as he appeared out of nowhere, walking over to hug her. "How do you feel?"

"Thanks, Al. I feel good," Erin hugged him back, making eye contact with Jay over his shoulder. "You ready?" she asked Jay once she pulled back from the hug.

"Yeah. I'm driving." Jay smirked as a disgusted look overtook Erin's face.

"No! You drove home from the hospital yesterday!" Erin argued.

"You don't know where we're going." Jay raised his eyebrow as he grabbed Erin's hand to lead her out of the bullpen, nodding goodbye to their colleagues.

"You can tell me!" she looked up at him, trying the puppy dog eyes again as they walked down the stairs and out of the precinct into the cool Chicago air.

"What would be the fun in that?" Jay teased, pulling her closer to him as he noticed her shiver on the walk to his car.

"Jaaaaay," she whined.

"Errrrrrrrr," he mimicked, dropping a kiss into her hair as they reached his car. "Get in, passenger."

"I hate you," Erin rolled her eyes as she opened the passenger side door, but Jay could see a smile threatening to take over her lips.

"I love you," Jay smiled at her as he got into the driver's side.

"I-" Erin began to rebut, but was quickly distracted by her suitcase in the backseat of Jay's car. "Are we going to Mexico for lunch, or…?"

"No, smartass." Jay turned so he was facing her. "You can't work for two weeks. I still have vacation days to use. This just so happens to be the week of Emma and Matty's fall break from school, and my family just so happens to have rented a beach house in Florida for the week."

"But… I… You said lunch…" Erin choked out, barely able to process what was happening. 24 hours ago she had been in the hospital, and now she was on her way to Florida with the love of her life?

Jay laughed at how frazzled she was. "I already talked to Voight about it. I knew you'd come up with some excuse not to go, so I didn't want to give you the chance to say no. You need this, Erin. Seven days, no worries, no criminals, just you, me, and the beach."

"And Emma and Matty?" Erin's face broke out into a smile as she came to terms with what was happening.

"Yes, Er, and the children you like more than me."

"I like them, Jay, I do. But trust me, there is not a single soul on this planet that I love more than you." Erin leaned across the console of Jay's car to place a kiss on his lips. "Thank you."

Jay's heart swelled. No matter how many times she told him she loved him, he still got butterflies like he was hearing it for the first time. "I love you. Now let's go have a good week to make up for the last one, okay?"

"Yeah." Officially at a loss for words, Erin interlocked her fingers with Jay as he began to drive them to the airport.

xoxoxoxoxo

"So how exactly did you get this idea?" Erin asked Jay hours later as they sat in the Uber taking them from the airport to the rental house.

"Well, my sister and her family had the trip planned for a while, but something happened and the realtor they rented from ended up having to give them a bigger house than they originally rented, so she told my parents about it and they got the idea to make it into a huge family trip. They decided to invite me and you and Will and his wife. My sister called to tell me about it right before your mom's wedding, but I didn't want to bring it up because you had a lot going on. I was gonna ask you if you wanted to use vacation days after the wedding, but then…"

"I got shot." Erin interrupted, as Jay was dancing around the words.

"Yeah." Jay took a deep breath, still haunted by the image of her lying on the floor of the store. "But I totally forgot about it, then she texted me when you were in the hospital telling me Will and his wife were coming and asking what our plans were, and I told her no because I just wanted to focus on you getting better. She said Emma and Matty were really disappointed because they missed you,"

"Me?" Erin asked, shocked but unable to hide her smile.

"Yes, you. They adore you, babe. But anyway, when the doctors started talking about you getting released on Sunday I thought about how nice it would be to just get away together. And I talked to Hank and he was all for it, so I asked my sister if there was still room in the house and she said yes. And here we are." Jay smiled.

"Here we are." Erin repeated, resting her head on his shoulder.

"This is gonna be good, babe." Jay promised, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pulling her as close to him as her seatbelt would allow.

"I know," Erin smiled as she nuzzled into his neck, placing a kiss on his neck. She didn't think she could be any more content with life than she was right now, but she had no idea just how good this week was going to be.

xoxoxoxoxo

 _Hi babes, I'm back avoiding schoolwork again! This was just a lil filler chapter, hope you enjoyed! As always, leave reviews if you wanna see anything specific! Thank you for reading :) xo_


	18. Chapter 18

_Wow you angels are the best! The reviews on that one shot in just a few hours have been amazing! Because there's a split between what story you want updated, I'll try my best to do both :) thank you for being the best readers! xo_

The Uber driver stopped the car in front of a huge beachfront mansion and Erin gasped. "This is beautiful,"

Jay smiled as he reached for the door handle. "Let's go. The kids are waiting for you inside," he walked around the car to the trunk and got their suitcases out while Erin practically ran up the driveway. Jay met her on the front porch and she eagerly knocked on the door.

Even from outside, they could hear the pitter-patter of little feet running down the hallway and were soon greeted with little screams. "Erin! Uncle Jay!" the twins swung the door open and nearly attacked the couple.

"Hey Em! Hey Matt!" Jay said enthusiastically, dropping the suitcases and bending down to pick up Matty as Erin scooped Emma up in her arms. "Be careful, Erin," Jay shot her a look as he stared at the scar near her collarbone.

Erin winced in pain but shook her head. "It's fine, Jay." She looked down at the little girl snuggled into her neck and knew the slight discomfort was worth it.

"Hey guys!" Erin looked up to see Jay's sister walking towards them. She smiled at the sight of Erin and Jay with the kids and walked onto the porch to bring their suitcases in for them.

"Hey Laur," Jay smiled and followed her in the house, motioning for Erin and Emma to follow as well.

"I'm so glad you could make it. How are you feeling, Erin?" Lauren led them into the kitchen.

"I'm good," Erin smiled as she finally gave in to her aching arm and placed Emma down on the floor. "Thank you for inviting us, this place is beautiful,"

Lauren smiled as she watched her daughter immediately reach to hug Erin's legs once she was on the ground. "It was definitely a surprise to get such a nice place. We have dinner reservations at 6:30 if you guys want to go unpack and get ready. I'm sure the twins would love to show you your room. Everyone else should be back from the beach soon,"

"Sounds perfect," Erin smiled sincerely as Emma reached for her hand to drag her towards the stairs.

"Well come on, Uncle Jay!" the little girl yelled, earning laughs from the adults.

Emma and Matty led them up the stairs and into a huge bedroom, complete with a balcony facing the ocean with a Jacuzzi on the deck.

"Wow," Erin breathed, her eyes wide as she looked at Jay, who was beaming from ear to ear.

"Emma! Matt! Time to take baths before dinner!" Jay's sisters' voice rang out and the twins ran from the bedroom, leaving Erin and Jay alone again.

"What do you say we skip dinner and test out that Jacuzzi?" Erin asked with a smirk, turning towards Jay and wrapping her arms around his neck.

"As nice as that sounds, this is a very important dinner and we have to go," Jay's hands found Erin's waist and he bent his neck to find her lips.

"What do you mean?" Erin pouted after they broke apart, their foreheads still resting on each other.

Jay silently cursed himself for possibly saying too much and nearly giving away his plan for later. Not that Erin had any idea at all. "It's our first night and the whole family is going. Jacuzzi later," he promised, trying to change the subject.

Erin's eyes lit up again. As good as the Jacuzzi sounded, she was starving. "You promise?" she asked, pecking his lips again.

"I do," Jay smiled into the kiss, moving right hand to the back of Erin's head to deepen the kiss. "I love you,"

"Love you," Erin mumbled into his mouth. As if on cue, her stomach let out a loud growl.

Jay couldn't help but laugh as he pulled away. "You can shower first. I'll go get our bags from downstairs,"

"Or you could shower with me…" Erin tried to lean back into him but by some miracle, Jay was able to resist her magnetic pull.

"Then we'll definitely be late. Go," he playfully turned her around in his arms and swatted her butt, pushing her towards the bathroom.

"I see how it is," Erin winked at him and continued towards the bathroom, purposely swinging her hips more to elicit a groan from her boyfriend.

Once Jay heard the water running, he left the room and headed back downstairs to grab their forgotten suitcases. He reached into the front pocket of his bag and pulled out the small velvet box that he'd been carrying around for weeks now, since before Bunny's wedding. If the past week had taught him anything, it was that life was fragile and there was no time to waste in getting what you want. And more than anything, he wanted Erin to be his wife. To be his forever.

"Uncle Jay!" Emma squealed, running out of another bathroom with nothing but a towel and soaking wet hair and over to where Jay was sitting on the stairs.

"Hi peanut," he laughed as Emma jumped onto his lap.

She glanced upstairs and lowered her voice to a whisper. "Are you still giving Erin the pretty ring tonight?"

Jay couldn't help but smile. "How'd you know?"

"Mommy told me and Matty but said it's a secret!" she put her index finger to her mouth, creating a _shhhh!_ motion.

"That's right, Em. You can't tell her, okay?" Jay placed a kiss into his niece's wet hair.

"I promise!" Emma used her same finger to pretend to lock her lips and throw away the key. "It's a princess ring, right? Because Erin looks like a princess?"

An even bigger smile broke out onto Jay's face as he remembered the first night Emma had met Erin. When Erin was his "pretend girlfriend" but Emma had still clung to her instantly. He never would have imagined that almost a year later he'd be asking her to spend the rest of her life with him. As cliché as it sounds, he felt butterflies in his stomach at the simple thought.

"Yeah, Em. I only know one prettier princess than Erin,"

Emma's eyes widened. "Who!? She's _the_ prettiest,"

"You," Jay winked at her as he lifted the child off of his lap. "Go get dressed. I gotta get back upstairs before Erin gets out of the shower,"

Emma giggled as she took off down the hallway to her bedroom. "Bye Uncle Jay! See you for the surprise!"

"Bye, Em," Jay stood up and shoved the velvet box into the pocket of his jeans before picking up his and Erin's suitcases, the smile never leaving his face. He heard the shower water turn off as he entered the room. He put the suitcases in the middle of the big king size bed and opened Erin's luggage to find the dress he'd packed for her to wear tonight – his favorite one. The bathroom door opened and Erin stepped out, wrapped in a towel.

"I'm scared to see what you packed me," she rasped with a smirk, walking over to the bed and sitting next to the suitcase Jay was rifling through.

Jay ignored her and pulled out a long kelly green dress that made her eyes pop like nothing he'd ever seen before.

"Your favorite," Erin smiled, remembering when she'd bought the dress. She and Jay had spent a summer night walking along Michigan Ave and she'd dragged him into her favorite boutique because it was advertising a sale. He'd picked out the dress of a mannequin, telling her that it was his favorite color because it reminded him of her eyes. When she'd come out of the dressing room, his jaw had nearly hit the ground. But she hadn't worn it out yet; she was waiting for the perfect occasion. Little did she know, this was it.

"I can't wait to see how beautiful you look in it all over again," Jay handed her the dress and planted a kiss on her forehead before heading to the shower himself. Once he shut the door behind him, he eagerly checked his watch. 5:30 pm. One hour til show time.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"You ready, man?" Will clapped Jay's shoulder, giving it a squeeze for support as they walked into the restaurant. Erin was way ahead of them, each arm being pulled towards the door by Emma and Matty. Jay smiled at the sight.

"As I'll ever be," Jay's heart was about to pound out of his chest. His original plan was to pop the question after dinner, but he knew he would never make it through the meal, so his family had arranged a plan for him to be able to ask Erin before the meal. Jay wasn't really sure about the logistics of the plan his sister and her children had drawn up, but he didn't care. It would work out. At this moment, all he wanted was a rock on his girl's left ring finger.

The family entered the restaurant and the hostess led them to a big table in a secluded section; they basically had the dining room to themselves. _Perfect,_ Jay thought. He didn't need an audience; he was barely going to get through it with his family around.

As soon as they sat down around the table, Jay spotted Emma whisper something into his sister's ear and assumed the plan was in motion.

"Momma, I have to go to the bathroom," Emma announced.

"I can take her," Erin volunteered. Jay saw Emma's smile widen and knew that Erin had played perfectly into her strategy, which he assumed he'd be filled in on once the girls left the table.

"Thanks, Erin," Lauren smiled as Erin and Emma left the table. "When she turns the corner coming back to the table, you need to be down on one knee," she demanded, turning her attention back to Jay.

At his sister's words, Jay's heart began to beat faster. If that was even possible. This meant that in approximately three minutes, he would be asking Erin Lindsay to marry him.

"The hostess knows. When it happens, she'll send the servers over with champagne. Then dinner will continue from there… but it will be turned into more of a celebration," Lauren smiled at her little brother. "I think I can speak for the table when I say we're really, really happy for you, Jay. I've never seen anyone as in love as you and that girl and I can't wait to see the two of you take on the world together."

At his sister's words, Jay looked around the table. From Lauren, to her husband, to Matty, to Will, to his wife. Everyone was beaming. Jay had no idea what he'd done to deserve this life, to deserve these people, but he'd never been happier. His thoughts were interrupted when he heard Emma's voice again, followed by the clicking of high heels against the restaurant floor. It was time.

Jay quickly stood from his chair and made his way to the end of the table, kneeling down just as Erin and Emma turned the corner. Erin was looking at Emma, but the second her head turned and she saw Jay her jaw dropped.

"Jay…"

"Erin…" Looking into her beautiful green eyes that were suddenly glazing over with tears, Jay was suddenly at a loss for words. He took a deep breath, "The past three years of my life with you as my partner and best friend have been absolutely amazing, but this past year with you has been the greatest of my life. It amazes me every day how we got here, but I wouldn't change a second of it. You are the strongest, bravest, most beautiful human I have ever met in my life and I don't know why you ever chose me, but I'm so thankful you did. You have taught me how to be a better person and I honestly have no idea where I'd be if you didn't walk up the stairs in the bullpen and into my life. You saved me, Er. And I love you more than I've ever loved anything in my life; more than I ever thought it was possible to love anything. I can't even describe to you how I felt last week when I saw you bleeding out on the ground in that store. I'd never been so scared, Erin, not even in Afghanistan with bullets flying at my head. But it made me realize how short life is and that we have no time to waste. Because we might not get a second chance at something if we don't just go for it. And I need to know what it feels like to slip this ring on your finger. Because I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Erin. I couldn't imagine anything else. I want to start a family with you. I want to take our kids to Wisconsin together every summer. I want to wake up next to you when we're old and gray. I want it all with you. I'm so completely in love with you it hurts. So will you please make me the happiest man in the world right now, babe? Will you marry me?"

The tears were falling out of Erin's eyes at a record speed and she knew that if she opened her mouth, nothing understandable would come out. So she just nodded as she pulled her boyfriend – wait, fiancé – up off the ground and threw her arms around his neck, burying her head in his neck. Jay let out a shaky breath as he blinked back his own tears and hugged her tight, a huge smile overtaking his face. Erin Lindsay had just agreed to spend the rest of her life with him. Applause erupted around them, but the two stayed transfixed in their own little world.

"Give me your hand, babe," Jay murmured, pulling away from the hug to see her face. He slid the diamond onto her ring finger, causing another wave of tears to fall from Erin's eyes. Jay dropped her hand and wiped her eyes, placing a kiss on her forehead.

"I love you so much," Erin choked out once her voice finally came back to her, her gaze flickering between the ring newly placed on her finger and Jay's loving blue eyes.

"I love you, angel," Jay pulled her in for a kiss before turning them around to see his family.

Cheers of "Congratulations!" and "Finally!" were still exploding from the table. Jay's sister was crying her own happy tears and Emma was sitting there in awe. Seeing that the big moment was finally over, the table was ambushed by servers with flutes of champagne.

"To Jay and Erin," Will announced, raising his glass into the air.

"To Jay and Erin!" the table repeated, clinking their glasses. "Cheers!"

Erin replaced her glass on the table and scooted as close to Jay as her chair would allow, resting her head on his shoulder. Jay threw an arm around her shoulder, placing a kiss into her hair.

Their moment was interrupted by Emma. "Erin?" the little girl asked.

"Yeah, Em?" Erin answered, lifting her head from Jay's shoulder but making no motion to move further away.

"Can I call you Aunt Erin now?"

Erin felt a new batch of tears fill her eyes as a chorus of "awwww"s erupted from the table. "Of course you can, baby girl."


	19. Chapter 19

_Hi babes! I know I said I'd have this up sooner but my computer broke and I just got it back so I'm sorry! But good news is I found an old, unfinished one-shot on there that I'm going to try to fix up and finish and upload soon. But here's a new chapter of IOYO – I had a lot of fun writing this chapter bc I love writing Erin and Jay with the kids, so I hope you enjoy! I'm currently suffering from maaaajor writer's block so please leave any ideas or requests you have on where to take this (or any of my other stories) as a review or private message. I hope you all had wonderful holidays with the ones you love. Thank you for being the best readers! Please review :) xo_

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Later that night, Erin and Jay were laying in bed, Erin absentmindedly tracing patterns on Jay's bare chest as her mind wandered. She, Erin Lindsay, was _engaged._ To Jay Halstead. What was this life? How had she gotten so lucky? She began to replay the years of her life in her head. Her earliest memories included a semi-normal family, with three-year-old Erin and her mom and dad before everything went downhill. Teddy being born and her dad going to jail. Her mom falling into drugs and the countless abusive boyfriends. Erin falling into drugs herself. Charlie. Then she thought about how her life began to pick up again; Hank and Camille rescuing her. Graduating from St. Ignatius and getting into the academy. Graduating from the academy. Her first few years on patrol. Hank calling her up to Intelligence. Meeting her partner in Intelligence. Becoming best friends with her partner. Falling completely, head over heels, in love with her partner. Being engaged to marry her partner. She couldn't help the smile that took over her face as she watched the moon illuminate the diamond sitting on her left ring finger as she used it to trace a heart on Jay's chest.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Jay asked softly as he watched her smile sleepily, breaking her from her thoughts.

"We're engaged," Erin finally tore her gaze away from her ring to meet Jay's eyes. Even though the room was dark, the only light coming from the moon through the window, she could clearly make out the love shining through his blue eyes and in that moment she fell in love with him a hundred times more, if that was even possible.

"We are," Jay's smile mirrored hers as he reached out to pull her closer to him.

"I can't wait to tell Hank," she smiled deeper as she thought about how proud her father figure would be of her.

"He knows," Jay laughed as Erin's eyes widened in shock.

"What? You-" Erin stared at her fiancé in disbelief.

"I asked him, Er. I had to." Jay leaned forward to place a soft kiss on her forehead as he watched her eyes glaze over with tears.

"You asked Hank for permission to marry me?" she clarified once he pulled away, her voice shaking.

"Of course. Whether you admit it or not, he's your dad, Erin. And I know how much his approval means to you." Jay reached out to wipe the tears that had finally begun to fall from her eyes.

"I love you so much." Erin choked out, moving to kiss his lips. The kiss was a mixture of love, gratitude, and salt water from the happy tears that were betraying her by falling from her eyes.

"I love you, fiancé." Jay winked at her once they parted, earning a dimpled smile and a deep laugh, easily his two favorite things in the world.

"Wait, he said yes, right?" Erin had to ask, the rational part of her brain finally taking over.

Jay couldn't help but let out a laugh at that one. "Yep. I got Hank Voight's permission to marry his daughter and lived to tell the tale."

"Well aren't you lucky?" she joked back.

"The luckiest." Jay confirmed, one hundred percent serious.

Erin smiled as she snuggled into his chest. "What did Hank say?"

 _Jay stood up from his desk and walked across the bullpen to Voight's office. His boss was inside with the door closed and Jay knocked on the wood with a shaky hand._

" _Come on in, Halstead," he heard the gravelly voice yell and he took a deep breath before pushing the door open. Jay stepped in to the office and shut the door behind him again, not wanting the rest of the team to hear their conversation. "How's Erin?" he asked the younger man once he took a seat on the other side of the desk._

" _She's doing good. Happy to be out of the hospital. But um, that's actually who I wanted to talk to you about," Jay tried not to sound nervous._

" _Is everything okay?" Voight sounded unusually concerned and Jay's nerves calmed a little._

" _Yeah. It's great, actually, which is why I wanted to talk to you. I have a lot of vacation days saved up, and Er's obviously on two week medical leave, and my family has a beach house in Florida this week-"_

" _Go." Hank interrupted Jay. "You both deserve a vacation."_

" _Wait, really?" Jay clarified, shocked about how easy that conversation had been._

 _Hank grunted his approval and looked back down at the paperwork he was filling out. When Jay made no move to leave his office, he looked up again. "Is there something else, Halstead?"_

" _I, uh, yeah…" Jay stared at the floor while he stumbled over his words, earning a glare from his boss. "I want to ask Erin to marry me," he blurted out, afraid to look up and see Hank's face. Or possibly Hank's fist. He felt a pair of eyes burning into his skull and slowly lifted his head to make eye contact with Hank._

" _And?" Hank asked, an unreadable expression on his face._

 _Jay took a deep breath. "And I want your permission. Erin would never admit it, but you and I both know that it would mean the world to her. You're her father, sir."_

 _Voight's face immediately softened. "If you ever hurt her-"_

" _I'll drown myself in the bottom of the lake." Jay interrupted before his boss could finish his sentence._

 _Hank nodded and stood up from his chair, walking around his desk to meet Jay, who stood and reached out to shake Hank's hand._

" _You have my permission. Take care of her, Jay." Hank tightened his grip on Jay's hand, but took the younger man by surprise when he wrapped him in a hug. "Congratulations."_

 _Jay smiled as he pulled out of the embrace. "Thanks, but she hasn't said yes yet."_

" _Oh, she will." Hank laughed._

" _How do you know?" Jay asked. He knew Erin was happy with him, but he also knew that her underlying commitment-phobia would never be completely gone and sometimes he worried that even after a year, the wrong move would scare her away. And this was a big move._

" _She's in love with you, Halstead. She looks at you the same way Camille used to look at me. I've known Erin since she was twelve years old and I have never seen her open up to anyone, not even me or Camille, the way she has opened up to you. Erin has never allowed herself to be dependent on anyone, but with you she's coming pretty damn close. And I have to thank you for being there for her while she works through everything. I've never seen anyone be so patient with her."_

 _Jay was at a loss for words at his boss' admission. "I love her, Sarge," he said the only words he could think of at the moment._

" _I know. Now get to work, that paperwork isn't going to fill out itself." Hank clapped him on the back one last time as he walked back to his desk chair._

Jay took a deep breath as he finished relaying the story to Erin. She lifted her head from where it had been resting on Jay's chest to look at him. "Thank you," she whispered, her eyes still glassy and her mind still fuzzy because she was so damn in love with the man next to her.

"Anything for my girl," Jay promised, threading a hand through her hair and pulling her face down to his to steal a kiss.

"I love you," Erin mumbled against his lips for what felt like the thousandth time that night, but she could never say those words to Jay enough to express her actual gratitude for him.

"Love you, Er." Jay placed another kiss on her lips and pulled her back down to his chest so she was cuddled into him again. He buried his face in her hair and inhaled his favorite scent. "We have a busy day tomorrow."

"I'm so excited," Erin mumbled tiredly and Jay could feel her smiling into his neck.

"Me too," Jay smiled back even though Erin couldn't see him. Then again, he hadn't really wiped the smile off his face since the beautiful girl half-asleep on him had agreed to become his wife.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Matt, go see if your sister is ready," Jay sighed as he took his last sip of coffee and placed the mug in the sink. The little boy took off running towards a bedroom and Jay turned to Erin. "You sure we can handle this?"

Erin smiled at him from the breakfast bar where she was sitting. "We got this," she winked as she stood up and followed Matty into Emma's room. Jay smiled as he heard her joking around with the twins while helping Emma. A moment later, all three people returned to the kitchen. Emma was wearing a Cinderella dress and tiara, making it understandable why it had taken her so long to get dressed.

"We're ready Uncle Jay!" the young girl announced, giving her uncle a thumbs-up.

"Well then let's go, princess!" Jay smiled at his niece as he led the group out to where the taxi was waiting.

Twenty minutes later, the taxi pulled up to the front gates of Magic Kingdom. Erin, who had been sitting in the back seat with both kids, got out first and helped the twins get out of the car.

"Are you excited to see Mickey?" she asked them.

"Yes! And Cinderella!" Emma exclaimed, reaching up to fix her tiara, then reaching out to grab Jay's hand so she didn't get lost in the sea of people they were walking into.

Erin laughed at the young girl's excitement. "How about you, Matty?" she asked, reaching down to take his hand.

"Yeah! I wanna go on Space Mountain!" he declared, squeezing Erin's hand. Erin laughed again as she grabbed Jay's hand with her free hand and they entered the park.

Jay smiled as he felt Erin's left hand grab his right and he felt her engagement ring between their fingers. The twins looked around the park, taking around their surroundings in awe and Emma's jaw dropped when she realized they were standing right in front of Cinderella's Castle.

"You want a picture in front of the castle?" Erin asked Emma, letting go of Jay's hand to take her phone out of her back pocket.

"Yes!" Emma nearly screamed, pulling Jay's hand closer to the huge building then letting go of her uncle to pose in front of the castle.

Erin chuckled. "Okay, baby girl, smile!"

"No not yet! Aunt Erin, get in the picture!" Emma yelled, jumping up and down.

Erin's heart melted as she nodded and handed her phone to Jay, who was beaming. Emma lifted her arms asking Erin to lift her and Erin picked the little girl up and set her on her hip, smiling at the camera as they stood in front of the castle.

"Beautiful, princesses," Jay winked as Erin put Emma back on the ground and linked hands with the girls again, Matty grabbing Erin's hand again as well. "Where to first?"

"The Seven Dwarfs train! Please please please!" Emma begged as she pulled the group along.

"Yeah!" Matty agreed, speeding up to match his sister's pace and assisting in dragging Jay and Erin along.

The line wasn't long and the group was boarding the ride in no time. There was almost a fight between the twins about who got to sit next to Erin, but Jay pretended to be offended and Emma decided to sit next to her uncle in the row in front of Erin and Matty. "You ready?" Erin asked the little boy next to her.

"Yeah!" Matty smiled, giving her a thumbs up as he adjusted his harness. The ride took off and the air filled with the sounds of laughter and excited screams. When the train pulled back into the station, Erin and Jay helped the twins unbuckle and got them out of the ride car.

"How was it?" Jay asked.

"So fun!" Both twins nearly screamed at the same time as they ran down the exit ramp.

"Aunt Erin! Uncle Jay! There was a camera!" Emma exclaimed excitedly, pointing to the souvenir stand that was selling pictures that had been taken during the ride. The group walked up to the stand in search of their picture.

"There we are!" Matty exclaimed excitedly, pointing to the screen. Erin laughed out loud when she saw the picture. Jay and Emma were in the front of the picture; Emma's hands were covering her eyes as Jay looked at her, eyes sparkling and mid-laugh. Erin and Matty were in the row behind them, Matty's arms in the air as he screamed and Erin looking straight at the camera, laughing. Her hands were curled around her harness and the camera flash had reflected off of her ring.

"That's such a good picture," Erin spit out through her laughing fit as Jay threw an arm around her shoulder and pulled her into him.

"Should we get it to remember our first ride at Disney World?" He asked the kids, already pulling out his wallet with his free hand.

"Yes!" They both said in unison, getting the attention of the saleswoman. The woman smiled at the kid's excitement, quickly printing them a framed picture, complete with Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs in the corner and handing it to Jay in exchange for his money.

"This is one of the best pictures I've ever seen," she smiled at Jay as she handed the bag over.

Jay smiled back. "Thank you!" he called over his shoulder, as Emma who wanted to take a picture with Goofy, was already pulling him away.

Six hours later, an exhausted Jay and Erin sat in a small café on Main Street, USA watching Emma and Matty devour ice cream with Mickey Mouse sprinkles. "Did you guys have fun today?" Jay asked.

Matty nodded excitedly. "Wasn't Splash Mountain cool? That was my favorite ride!" he declared, wiping a stray sprinkle off of his cheek. Emma nodded in agreement.

"That was a good one," Erin smiled, looking down at her dripping wet t-shirt that was a reminder of the ride.

Jay laughed at the excitement that was still radiating around the table, even though their day was near over and everyone was hot and exhausted. Spending the day with his niece and nephew just reaffirmed how excited he was to start a family with Erin one day. She was easily one of Emma and Matty's favorite humans in this world; he was almost convinced they like her better than him even though they'd barely known her for a year. Watching Erin interact with the twins made his heart swell like no other. She was so good with them and she knew how to balance the two of them out; always making it seem like they each had her full attention and preventing them from fighting, which was a nearly impossible task for Jay alone. Today she had somehow figured out a plan to get each kid on every ride they'd wanted to go on, see every character they wanted a picture with, and watch every show they were interested in.

"Babe?" Jay was pulled from his thoughts by Erin's voice as she looked at him, laughing. "You good?"

"Yeah," Jay smiled at her. "What's up?"

"Can you get me a water? I don't have any more cash and I don't want to use my card,"

"Of course," Jay stood up from the table, bending back down to peck her lips before walking over to the end of the line.

"Is that your wife?" An older woman who had been watching Jay join the line asked him.

"Fiancé." Jay answered, still smiling as the word rolled off his tongue.

"She's beautiful," the woman stated, watching as Erin joked with the twins and made them erupt with laughter. "You have a beautiful family."

Jay's heart swelled in his chest. "Yeah I do," he nodded in agreement as he smiled back at the woman.


	20. Chapter 20

_Hey babes! So I've been thinking a lot about this story/where to take it and I think I'm going to end it after Erin and Jay's wedding so it came full circle – from being fake wedding dates to their own wedding. That won't be for a while and there are still a few chapters I want to write before that so if anyone has any ideas or requests please let me know! Also, how is this chapter 20!? WOW. Thank you for sticking with me through it! I hope you enjoy this chapter – review please, I've been so uninspired lately and reviews always help :) xo_

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"I can't believe it's our last day," Erin whined. "Chicago is going to be so cold."

Jay laughed at Erin's pout as he took a sip of coffee. "There is one good part about this being our last day, ya know," he teased as he stole a piece of bacon off of her plate.

"Hey!" Erin playfully slapped his hand away even though they both knew she was full and had been done eating for the better part of ten minutes now. "What's that?"

"We get to spend it alone," Jay winked as a smirk overtook Erin's face. Both his brother and sister's flights home had been early this morning, but the only flight to Chicago didn't leave until 5:00. He'd talked Will into taking his and Erin's luggage to the airport with them to check early so he and Erin could have the day to do whatever Erin wanted.

"Touché," Erin winked back as she pushed her plate over to Jay so he'd stop reaching across the table to steal her food. "If your bottomless pit ever fills,"

Jay rolled his eyes as he caught the server's attention to bring their check. "So how would you like to spend this lovely day together?"

Erin shrugged. They had done a lot with Jay's family this week – they'd visited nearly every Disney park, they'd shopped, gone bar hopping, and visited a spa, Jay had even talked her in to going golfing with himself, Will, and his wife… that had been an experience. The week had been filled with new experiences and she could truly say it was one of the best weeks of her life. Okay, maybe _the_ best week in her life, considering she'd gotten engaged and all. A smile unconsciously worked its way on to her face at the thought. Yeah, she definitely didn't care what they did today. "Doesn't matter."

"Come on, Er," Jay sighed as he placed a few bills on the table and stood up, reaching for Erin's hand to lead her out of the restaurant. "I want to make this perfect for you,"

"Jay," Erin pulled on his hand once they got outside so he stopped walking and looked at her. "This week has been more than perfect," she raised her left hand towards his face, the glistening diamond on her ring finger proving the point. "We could literally spend the entire day at a McDonald's or something and it would still be perfect."

Jay couldn't help the smile that overtook his face at her words. "Well, as tempting as McDonald's sounds… want to walk to the beach?" Erin's eyes widened at his question and Jay raised an eyebrow in question. "…or not?"

"I…" Erin stuttered, not sure how to make her confession without sounding like a complete idiot. "I've, uh… I've never been to the beach."

Jay's heart sank at her admission and he mentally kicked himself. They had been in Florida for five days and he hadn't once taken her to the beach. Had she ever told him that before? He didn't think so; he remembered every word that had ever come out of his girl's mouth. Jay tightened his grip on the hand of hers that he was still holding. "Hey," he bent down to press a kiss to the corner of her mouth. "There's a first time for everything, right?"

Erin took a deep breath. There was just something about the ocean that absolutely terrified her; it was just so _big._ But then she reminded herself that she was going to be with Jay, the one person in this world who would do anything to protect her. So she nodded and allowed a small smile as she looked into his excited blue eyes. "Yeah, let's go to the beach."

Jay's smile widened as he squeezed her hand and the two began walking down the street. The diner where they'd eaten breakfast was only a few blocks away from the beach and they reached the sand in no time. Jay tightened his grip on Erin's hands as they removed their shoes and their toes hit the soft sand. They rented two beach chairs and an umbrella from the little stand at the top of the beach and made their way down to an open area, setting up camp. It really was the perfect beach day; there were no big crowds or screaming kids, there wasn't a single cloud in the blue sky and there was a warm breeze. "What do you think?" Jay asked, watching as Erin pulled off her sundress to reveal his favorite black bikini.

"It's pretty," she smiled, reaching into her bag for a tube of sunscreen then walking over to Jay and beginning to rub the lotion on his shirtless back. "It's just like in the pictures." She let out a content sigh as she placed a kiss on his shoulder blade, resulting in a coconut taste on her lips.

Once again, Jay could feel his heart breaking in his chest. His girl was 30 years old and had only seen the ocean on a digital screen. He turned around, stealing a kiss and taking the sunscreen out of her hands so he could return the favor. After Erin was covered in lotion and had persuaded Jay into an impromptu massage, he grabbed her hand again and began pulling her towards the ocean.

"Jay… no," she said shakily, her eyes wide in fear as she dug her feet in the sand to resist his pull.

"What?" Jay asked, confused. He looked back and forth between the beautiful blue waves crashing on the shore and his scared fiancée.

"I… I can't," she was unable to offer a better explanation. Yeah, the ocean was even more beautiful than she'd ever seen in a picture or movie, but it was fucking _big_. And that terrified her. It was deep and wide and thousands of miles long. There were people floating on the water, but she saw how they fell when a rough wave hit them unexpectedly. And it just looked so _empty._ And were sharks a thing? They were in the movies she watched.

"Er," Jay said softly as it all clicked. Sure, he'd been afraid the first time he'd seen the ocean too, most people were. But he had been two years old the first time his parents took him to the beach. He closed the gap between them and continued in a gentle tone. "I'm never going to let anything happen to you. I'm not going to let anything hurt you. Come on, just get closer."

Erin nodded hesitantly as she tightened her grip on his hand and followed him closer to the shoreline. They stood on the wet sand near where the smallest waves were crashing, the chilly ocean water occasionally hitting their feet. Jay felt Erin relax a little as he kept a steady hold on her hand. "It really is beautiful," she whispered, lifting her foot to kick a shell that had washed up near them.

"Not as beautiful as you," Jay winked, earning a slap and an eye roll from Erin.

"Shut up," she laughed and Jay couldn't help but do the same; his favorite sound always had that effect on him.

"Do you trust me?" he asked her, receiving a wrinkled brow and confused look in response.

"Of course," Erin said, but it sounded more like a question. "Why would you even ask me that?" She'd trusted him with her life for over three years at this point, and more importantly, now she was trusting him with her heart.

"Then come on," Jay tugged her hand slightly and took another step forward, submerging his legs into the ocean water. "I'm never going to let anything happen to you, Erin," he repeated.

Erin nodded as she took a step forward to meet him. Now that she was in the water, it wasn't as scary as it had seemed on shore. She was still slightly terrified, but the man holding her hand was making it a little easier.

"It's so cool, Er," Jay smiled as she moved up to him, the childlike enthusiasm she loved so much taking over his eyes. "You literally feel weightless,"

Despite her pounding heart, Erin smiled as she swam further out next to Jay. "It really makes you realize how small you actually are," she thought out loud, looking around. "How we think we have all of these huge problems that we're never going to solve, but then you look at it from this perspective and it's all just so small. There's a whole world out here,"

Jay listened silently, moving behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist as he rested his head on her shoulder and the water bobbed around them peacefully. "I'm proud of you," he whispered to her when she was done sharing her thoughts.

As much as Erin wanted to turn around and kiss his face off in that moment, the still-scared part of her won out as she kept her eyes fixed forward on the waves coming towards them, not wanting to miss anything. She found his hands on her waist and attached her own to them, squeezing them hard in an unspoken thank you.

An hour later, the couple trudged out of the ocean dripping wet and exhausted, but unable to wipe the smiles off of their faces. Eventually, with the help of Jay's charm, Erin had felt comfortable enough to go underwater and her fears had diminished after that. Jay had reverted back to the mindset of a seven-year-old boy, excitedly teaching Erin how to body surf and somehow convincing the two _actual_ seven year old boys swimming next to them to let him and Erin try to ride their body boards. As they walked back to their beach chairs, Jay grabbed Erin's hand and began to swing their joined hands between them as he practically skipped up the sand. Erin couldn't help but let a laugh escape at the thought of this actual child being her rock, not to mention one of the best detectives in the city of Chicago.

"What are you laughing at?" Jay asked. Erin thought he was trying to sound intimidating, but he was failing miserably with the smile painted on his face.

"Nothing," Erin shook her head and bit her lip in an attempt to suppress another giggle as they reached their spot.

"Erin," Jay whined as he opened the umbrella, and the laugh escaped Erin's lips despite her best attempts to stop it.

"I just love you," Erin shrugged. "You're just standing there, playing with the umbrella with that goofy grin on your face, and all I can think is how much I love you,"

That goofy grin just got bigger as Jay registered Erin's words. "Well that's good, because I kinda love you too."

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Hours later, Erin and Jay sat outside their gate in the airport waiting to board their flight back to Chicago. Erin had her head rested on Jay's shoulder as she scrolled through her phone as Jay buried his nose into her hair, inhaling the scent that was a mixture of coconut and honey and so uniquely Erin. He watched as a yawn escaped his fiancée's mouth and couldn't help but smile at how damn cute she was.

"Are you sure you still want to have the unit over for dinner tomorrow?" Jay asked her, checking the time on his watch. Their flight didn't leave until 5:00 and they wouldn't land back in Chicago until around 8. Personally, the thought of having to go grocery shopping after that was nauseating to him.

He felt Erin nod against his shoulder. "Yeah," she rasped tiredly. "It's Hank's birthday. He's been super stressed lately, between the Jackson case and being down one detective, now two… he deserves it. And I miss everyone."

Jay nodded even though Erin couldn't see him. As exhausted as he was, he loved her heart and knew that being on medical leave and not seeing their coworkers everyday was hard for her. "Sounds good," Jay placed a kiss into her hair as the announcement that their flight was boarding came over the speaker.

"Time to get back to real life," Erin sighed as she stood up to get in line, Jay following behind her.

"I don't know about you," Jay smiled as he handed Erin her boarding ticket, "but my real life is pretty good."

Erin smiled as she turned around to meet his eyes. Her gaze flickered between the blue-green orbs and her left ring finger as her smile widened. "Yeah, it's a dream," she admitted as she stood on her toes to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth.


	21. Chapter 21

_Hi loves! This is…. fluffy. It's a long filler chapter but I hope you enjoy it! I'm thinking 2-3 more chapters so if there's anything you definitely want to see before this story wraps up leave a review or shoot me a PM! I'm going to try to update All In this week as well and if this week's ep inspires me maybe I'll work on a one-shot too, we'll see! ALSO thank you so much for 100 reviews on this story, your support and feedback mean the world to me so PLEASE keep it up and review if you liked this chapter, have any feedback, or just wanna say hey! You guys are the best :) xo_

Erin always found a way to make Jay give in to what she wanted, so it was no surprise that Jay found himself pushing a cart through the grocery store later that night once they'd landed in Chicago. He was unable to stop a laugh from breaking out of his mouth as he watched Erin stand in the meat department, hands on hips and looking thoroughly confused, as she tried to pick out a roast beef big enough to feed their entire unit the following night.

"What?" she asked, shooting him an annoyed look as she picked up a piece of meat to examine.

"Nothing," Jay shook his head, the grin never leaving his face.

"Jaaay," she almost whined and this time he bit his lip to stop another chuckle from escaping. He'd definitely acquired a sunburn today and a slap in the shoulder from Erin would definitely hurt. The smile stayed on his face, though, because exhausted, puzzled, and also slightly sunburnt Erin was one of the cutest things he'd ever seen.

"I just can't believe _you're_ going to cook a fancy dinner. For like ten people, no less," he allowed. In the year they'd been together, he could count on one hand the amount of times Erin had cooked something that wasn't Kraft macaroni and cheese or a Hot Pocket. And that had only been for the two of them, not the entire Intelligence unit.

Erin rolled her eyes as she picked up a different piece of meat. "I can cook, Jay," she challenged and began walking towards him. He winced, expecting the playful slap, but sighed in relief when she walked past him and put the roast beef in their cart. "Besides, you're going to help me," she smiled sweetly at him and motioned for him to continue pushing the cart to the next aisle.

Jay rolled his eyes as he pushed the fairly empty cart with one hand and reached for Erin's hand with his free hand, intertwining their fingers. "Oh, am I?" he challenged, looking down at her and raising an eyebrow.

"If you ever want to play Scrabble again, yeah, you are," she mirrored his expression as she let go of his hand to grab a jar of gravy off of the shelf. Jay just groaned; he would obviously help her no matter what, but of course she'd given him that ultimatum. He followed her as she continued down the aisle, no doubt swinging her hips a little more than necessary as she walked.

A half hour later, their cart was nearly filled to the top, packed with all of the ingredients for dinner and dessert, plus random groceries they needed for around the apartment. Erin unloaded the cart as Jay bagged the groceries, then the two made their way out of the grocery store. They were walking through the parking lot, bantering about something stupid, when suddenly Erin stopped short.

"Er?" Jay turned around, confused. He saw a woman approaching Erin and he pulled the cart a few steps back so he was back by her side.

"Stephanie." Erin said coldly once the woman reached her, and everything clicked in Jay's head. Ah, the infamous Stephanie. The one who had made Erin's experience at St. Ignatius a living hell. Jay immediately reached next to him and grabbed Erin's hand, earning a small smile from her before she turned her attention back to Stephanie.

"Hi, Erin!" the fake blonde exclaimed with a little too much excitement. "It's so nice to see you!"

"I bet." Erin answered shortly, her voice questioning.

"What are you doing these days?" Stephanie asked, oblivious to Erin's disinterest in their conversation.

"I'm a detective," Erin answered bluntly again, not bothering to relay the question back to Stephanie because she really, _really_ didn't care what the Barbie wannabe was doing with her life.

"You're a cop?" the woman's enthusiasm finally faltered as a look of disbelief took over her face.

"One of the best in the city," Jay shot back, suddenly protective and unable to sit back and listen to this conversation anymore. He just wanted to get his girl home.

Stephanie raised her eyebrows as she gave Jay a once over. "Oh, I didn't see you there," she smiled at him, a new flirtatious tone to her voice despite the fact that he was still holding Erin's hand. Frustrated, Erin ran her free hand through her hair as she let out a deep sigh, the diamond on her finger immediately catching Stephanie's attention.

"You're married!?" Stephanie's eyes widened.

"Engaged," Erin allowed a real smile for the first time during the conversation, tightening her grip on Jay's hand. "How about you?"

"No… I'm uh… still searching for the one," Stephanie stammered and Erin bit her lip to hold back a laugh at how flustered she was. Girl wasn't good at hiding her surprise.

"Good luck, Steph," Erin smiled sincerely, her gaze switching between the woman and Jay. "It's the best feeling when you do."

"Thanks," Stephanie said bluntly and Erin once again held back a laugh at how quickly their roles had reversed. "I have to go," she pushed past the couple, waving over her shoulder as she made her way into the grocery store.

Jay didn't let go of Erin's hand as he pushed the cart to the car, even though the cart was difficult to steer with one hand. "So that was Stephanie?"

Erin snorted. "That was Stephanie. Charmer, isn't she?"

"Oh, yeah," Jay laughed as he opened the trunk of the car, pausing to press his lips to Erin's forehead. "You're better than her," he reminded her.

Erin nodded. "Just took me a while to realize. Thank you." A yawn escaped her lips as she finished speaking.

"Come on, let's get you home," Jay laughed as he began to load the bags into the car alongside their suitcases.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

The next morning Jay woke up and reached out to pull Erin closer to him, but was met with cold sheets. He groaned and opened his eyes to look at the clock that read 9:36, then sat up in confusion. It was literally impossible to pry Erin from bed before noon on their weekends off and given their long day yesterday, he had figured she'd be passed out until at least 1:00. His thoughts were interrupted by a bang from the kitchen followed by a string of curse words and he let out a laugh before getting out of bed to see what his girl had gotten herself into.

Jay pulled on a pair of sweatpants over his boxers and made his way into the kitchen that currently resembled a warzone. His eyes widened at the sight of an apparent flour explosion on the counter and the array of mixing bowls and measuring cups overflowing from the sink. When he finally tore his eyes away from the mess, he couldn't help the grin that overtook his face at the sight of Erin pouring cake batter into a pan, a smudge of flour on her nose.

"Morning," she looked up and smiled widely at him after turning around to put the cake in the oven. "I figured I'd make the desserts first and the actual food closer to the time everyone is coming over so we can serve it warm."

Jay just raised his eyebrows as he made his way across the kitchen to give her a good morning kiss. "Who knew you were so… domestic?" he asked, a hint of playfulness to his tone once they reluctantly parted.

"There's a lot you don't know about me, Halstead." Erin winked as she crossed the kitchen to get a piecrust out of the refrigerator.

Jay just snorted. If she would've said that to him a year ago, or even just a few months ago, he would've agreed. But throughout their relationship, especially lately, he had seen a whole new side to his girl. She opened up to him about what was bothering her and told him countless stories about her past. She'd been so open with him he had even shared stories about his time in the Rangers with her. So yeah, she could wink at him and say those words as many times as she wanted, but they both knew that he knew more about Erin Lindsay than any other person on this planet. He probably knew her better than she knew herself. And he took more pride in that than anything in the world.

"What do you need me to do?" Jay asked as he watched her fill the piecrust with raspberries. Who was this girl and what had she done with Erin Lindsay?

Erin ignored his questions as she raised her eyebrows at him. "Why do you look so surprised?"

"I…" Jay stuttered, at a loss for words as he mentally kicked himself for being caught.

"Camille and I did this every year for Hank's birthday," she explained, a sad smile on her face. "It started before I moved in with them but she pulled me in to the tradition right away. Every year on his birthday we would make Hank's favorite meal, roast beef with gravy and potatoes, and his favorite desserts, chocolate cake and raspberry pie. And every year he'd come home from work to the big meal on the table and even though I knew he expected it, he was always so grateful for it. His, uh, his last birthday before Camille passed away, she was really sick and weak so I had to make everything almost on my own but she sat next to me the whole time, giving me step by step instructions. When he came home from work that night, he was shocked. I guess he figured that since Camille was too sick to cook, no one would bother. So now that I know how to do everything, I make sure it's on the table for Hank every year on his birthday. He deserves it."

Jay crossed the kitchen in three quick steps, wrapping his arms around Erin from behind and resting his chin on her shoulder. "You are amazing," he mumbled into her neck. Erin just sighed as she leaned into him, enjoying his warmth and letting her body relax for a minute.

"How come I didn't know about this before?" Jay asked, thinking back to previous years. He and Erin had been together for about 10 months, so they hadn't been dating at the time of Hank's last birthday, but Erin was having the whole unit over today for this dinner. If this happened every year, why hadn't he been invited in the past?

"It's always been a small thing," Erin explained, turning around in Jay's arms so she was facing him, her back pressed against the kitchen counter. "Just me, Hank, and Justin, then when Justin joined the army it was just Hank and I. But this past year… these past few months… it really taught me the importance of family. So I thought maybe we should expand on the tradition, ya know? Hank loves you guys. He doesn't really know how to show it, but this unit really saved him and I know there's nothing he would love more than to just spend the day with everyone together. No case, no commander breathing down his neck, no stress… just family."

"That does sound nice," Jay agreed, leaning down to kiss her nose and in return getting a mouthful of flour. Erin laughed at his white lips once he pulled away, lifting a finger to wipe the residue off of his lips. Jay playfully caught her finger in his mouth, causing a moan to escape from her lips.

"Jay," she gave him a warning look. "We don't have time for that."

Jay ignored her as he leaned forward again, starting at the base of her neck and pressing soft kisses up to her jawline.

" _Jay,"_ she tried to protest again, but this time his name rolled off her lips as more of a moan. He continued to ignore her, his lips eventually finding hers in a way that made it impossible for her to pull away.

"Fine," she panted as she pulled back in a desperate need of oxygen. "You know what?"

"What?" Jay asked, or mumbled, as he tangled his fingers in her hair and pressed their lips together again, taking away her ability to answer.

"I am really dirty," she whispered after another minute, her fingers finding the bottom of his shirt as she pulled it over his head and used the break to finish her statement, knowing his lips would be interrupting her again soon. "I guess I could use a shower."

Jay didn't respond with anything other than a smile on his face as he bent down and grabbed the undersides of her thighs, hoisting her in the air as he carried her into the bathroom.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Six hours, one steamy shower, and one (slightly burnt) cake later, the unit began to arrive. Erin was taking the meat out of the oven when the first knock on the door came and she yelled over her shoulder for Jay to answer.

"Got it!" he yelled back as he placed the last plate down on the table to complete the table setting. He made his way across the apartment and unlocked the door, opening it to come face to face with his boss.

"Hey, Sarge," he greeted him, reaching out for a handshake. "Happy birthday,"

"Thanks Halstead," the older man said gruffly as he entered the apartment. "But how many times do I have to tell you, it's Hank. Especially now that I hear you're officially becoming a part of the family."

Jay smiled and nodded. "She told you she said yes,"

Hank smiled back, and the sight almost scared Jay. He wasn't sure he'd ever seen that look on his boss' face before. "Called me first thing this morning. Thought someone had to be dying when I was getting a call from Erin before 9 am on a day off."

Jay just laughed at the similar thought he'd had that morning as Hank walked past him towards the kitchen.

"Come on, let's see the ring!" he heard the rough voice ring out from it's new location on the other side of the apartment, followed by his fiancée's uncharacteristic giggle that automatically brought a smile to his face. As much as the sound made him want to kiss her face off all over again, the thought of their-boss-slash-her-dad in the room was enough to make him stay in their living room so he could answer the door when the rest of their coworkers arrived.

Police officers are very punctual people and between 3:58 and 4:00, the actual start time of this dinner party, the final four members of the unit plus Burgess arrived. Jay led them into the kitchen, where they all offered birthday wishes to Voight and sat around the table that was newly covered with an impressive spread of food.

"Damn Linds," Ruzek muttered as he took his seat. "Can you give Kim some lessons?" The question just earned an eye roll from Erin and a slap from Burgess before the unit began passing food around the table to fill their plates.

"Erin," Kim almost moaned as she speared her fork through a potato. "This is _so_ good." Olinsky nodded in agreement and Atwater chimed in with a matching moan.

"Thanks, it was Camille's recipe," she said shyly, a small smile on her face as she looked to Voight at the head of the table. He smiled back at Erin appreciatively as Jay's hand found her knee under the table and gave it a supportive squeeze.

Not long after, nearly all of the plates on the table were nearly licked clean. Conversation around the table was flowing around a multitude of topics such as recent cases, Erin and Jay's trip, the Bears, and the cold weather that was taking over their city.

"The food was great, Erin." Hank smiled at her again once the conversation died down. "I'm stuffed." Everyone around the table nodded in agreement.

"Well I hope you have room for dessert," Erin laughed as she stood up. "But first, Jay and I have to tell you guys something."

Jay's eyes widened in surprise as a smile stretched across his face as he realized what she was talking about. Never in a million years would he have ever guessed Erin would be this excited to tell people she was getting married. He stood to join her, wrapping an arm around her waist to pull her closer to him as the unit, sans Voight, looked at them in confusion.

Erin smiled up at Jay then wordlessly held her left hand out over the table, the diamond speaking for itself. "Jay asked me to marry him!" she said after a moment, even though what had just happened required no explanation. Huge smiles overtook the faces of everyone around the table and Kim squealed in excitement, jumping out of her chair to throw her arms around her best friend in a congratulatory hug. All of the men at the table followed suit, offering handshakes to Jay and hugs to Erin and whispering how it was "about time".

Eventually, the congratulations were over and the "Happy Birthday" song was sung, much to Hank's dismay. The cake and pie were cut and coffee was served, despite everyone's arguments that they were too full to ever eat again. As Erin looked around the table at her chosen family, her heart swelled with so much love. These were her people. They'd seen her at her worst and still stuck around to celebrate when she was at her best. They'd done more for her than she could ever repay them for. She took in their faces, one by one. Alvin- the first uncle figure she'd ever had, blood or not. He always knew just what to say to her no matter the situation. He knew how to get under her skin, how to make her laugh uncontrollably, and how to make her feel inexplicably safe. Hank- her _dad_ , no matter how many times she denied it. The strongest man she knew. The only person in this entire world who was there for her every single time she needed someone. Atwater- a man she considered one of her goofy little brothers but also the man with the biggest heart she'd ever met. A big teddy bear who scared the shit out of Chicago's criminals but was also the most admirable older sibling to his little brother and sister. Erin could only dream of her and Jay's future children having the type of relationship Kevin and his siblings had. Ruzek- her other goofy, insanely annoying little brother who she could not imagine life without. He'd been forced to grow up quickly when Olinsky brought him upstairs, but Erin couldn't imagine the unit, or her life, without him. And he made her best friend happy, so she really couldn't ask for more. Her best friend- Kim- probably one of the best patrol officers Chicago had to offer. Erin had never had many female friends, but she and Kim had clicked fast. She always listened to Erin vent, gave the best advice, and Erin couldn't wait to ask her to be her maid of honor. Antonio- the older brother she'd never had. He kept Voight in line when Erin wasn't able to and fiercely protected Erin. He'd been through a lot over the past year between his wife leaving and having to fight for custody of his kids, but he'd always made time to check in with Erin to make sure she was happy and Jay was treating her how she deserved to be treated. As if that was ever a question. Finally, she looked at the man seated next to her. Jay- he was deep in conversation with Ruzek about their predictions for the Bulls' upcoming season, but his hand was once again resting on her knee under the table, his thumb subconsciously rubbing back and forth along the material of her jeans. There was no denying he was the absolute love of her life; the only person she'd ever loved. The only person she felt safe enough with that she could _allow_ herself to love. He embraced all of her baggage and wore the weight of her stressors on his back like they were his own. She couldn't imagine starting the rest of her life with anyone else and she thanked the God she wasn't even sure she believed in that she would never have to. She placed one of her small hands on top of Jay's hand that was resting on her knee, squeezing tight. He tore his attention away from the basketball conversation to turn towards Erin and offered her a smile, mouthing an _I love you_ that caused the butterflies in Erin's stomach to take flight.

She broke their eye contact to look around the table one more time as she was hit with a realization. This was it. Her entire life was in this room right now. Her life wasn't easy; it was messy and hard and fun and stressful and ugly and beautiful. But in this moment, it was absolutely _perfect._


	22. Chapter 22

_HEEYY. I'm so sorry for this long wait but I hope this chapter is worth it! Friendly reminder that there's only a few chapters left/this story will be ending with Erin and Jay's wedding so if there's anything you realllly want to see leave a review or send me a message! Thanks to Big Chicago Fan for the idea for this chapter. As always, thanks for being the best readers ily all xoxo_

"Tell me again how you got off today?" Jay asked, feigning annoyance as he passed Erin a mug of steaming coffee.

Erin rolled her eyes as she hopped up on the counter next to the coffee machine and gratefully accepted the cup, quickly pressing her lips to Jay's in thanks. "You don't need me for a paperwork day,"

"Yes I do," Jay argued, moving to stand between her legs. "Who else am I going to stare at all day?"

Erin fought back another eye roll as she scoffed. "I don't know, Ruzek? Kim's off today too, you guys won't even have to hide your bromance." Jay shot her an annoyed look as she continued. "Maybe you'll actually get your paperwork done for once."

"I always get my paperwork done!" he argued.

Erin laughed again. "On time," she clarified. "Besides, even if Hank did let you take off today, you'd be here alone."

Jay groaned as he moved closer to Erin and removed the still-full mug from her hands, placing it on the counter behind her. "I'll play hooky if you do," he whispered huskily as his lips found hers.

"Jay," she moaned against his lips, using every bit of willpower she had to push his face him away but still keeping her ankles locked around his torso. "I can't miss my bridal appointment."

"Sure you can," Jay's lips returned to her body, starting on her collarbone and working their way up her neck to the sensitive spot below her ear.

"I can't walk down the aisle naked," Erin argued back, using all of her strength to focus on forming coherent sentences and not the fire igniting inside of her.

The sucking continued. "I wouldn't object. Come on, Er."

Erin groaned as Jay hit another sensitive spot and every nerve ending in her body began to tingle. "You have ten minutes."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"I'm so sorry!" Erin exclaimed as she sprinted into the bridal boutique on Michigan Avenue.

"Only you would be late to your own dress appointment," Kim said with a laugh as she and Jay's sister Lauren stood up from the chairs they'd been waiting in.

"I'm sorry," Erin apologized again, her cheeks turning red as she thought back to the reason why she was late. She gave both women a hug, thanking them for coming.

"Em's bummed I wouldn't let her miss school for this," Lauren laughed as they made their way up to the counter so Erin could check in.

"Ugh, my girl." Erin smiled at the thought of Jay's sweet niece. "There's no way I'm going to find anything the first time anyway, we'll make sure to schedule the next appointment on a weekend. And we can get her flower girl dress then too."

"She'll love that." Lauren smiled, loving the relationship between her daughter and her brother's fiancé.

"Hey, are you Erin?" the women were interrupted by a bubbly young girl entering the store's lobby. Erin nodded and the girl continued. "My name is Amanda and I'll be helping you today! When's the big day?"

"June 16th," Erin answered with a smile as Amanda began to lead the trio towards the back of the store. Her breath hitched in her throat when racks of thousands of white dresses came into view. "Wow,"

"Congratulations," Amanda smiled. "Who do you have with you today?"

"This is my best friend, Kim, and my fiancé's sister, Lauren," Erin introduced her friends, still momentarily distracted by the amount of dresses surrounding them.

"And what type of dress are we looking for today?" Amanda asked, reaching the end of her questioning for the moment.

"I honestly have no idea," Erin turned to ask Kim and Lauren for help, but they were already long gone, sifting through dresses and on a mission.

"Just take a look around and pick out some styles you like, I have a few ideas of what would look stunning on you. I'm gonna go grab them, have fun!" Amanda waved Erin to a rack and disappeared into the sea of white dresses. Erin took a deep breath as she looked around and began to examine a few dresses. This was all so surreal. She and Jay had been engaged for about a month now, but she couldn't believe she got to _marry_ him. How had she gotten so lucky? She'd gone through her entire childhood, teenage years, and the beginning of her adult life scoffing at fairytales and swearing that true love didn't exist. Then out of nowhere, this dorky, annoying, headstrong, beautiful man had joined her unit and become her partner and fast forward to just over three years later and here he was; her partner in every aspect of life. A living, breathing example that true love was real, and attainable, and _hers._

"Erin!" she was pulled from her thoughts by Kim running over to her, her arms already laden in garment bags holding bundles of white fabric. "You have to try these on!"

"How did you find all of these that quickly?" Erin asked, unable to hold back a laugh at her enthusiastic best friend.

"Well considering you're the perfect human with the perfect body who could wear a trash bag and still look hot, we have a lot of options," Kim explained, earning another laugh and eye roll from Erin.

Erin took the dresses from Kim and crossed the store to find Amanda near the fitting rooms, shocked at how excited she actually was about this. Marrying your best friend really was the best.

Four hours and dozens of dresses later, Erin was _exhausted._ She was ready to call it quits and try again another day and was changing back into her street clothes when Kim frantically knocked on the door of her fitting room.

"Erin! I found _the_ dress. I just know it!" the younger cop's excited voice rang through the door.

Erin groaned at the thought of another dress on her body, but she had to admit that no one had sounded as excited all day as Kim did right now. Amanda laughed from her spot on the stool beside Erin, looking at the bride-to-be for approval. "Do you want to try one last one?"

Erin sighed but nodded as Amanda opened the door and took the garment bag from Kim, revealing a beautiful lace dress that earned a gasp from Erin. Kim wasn't kidding. This was _beautiful._

The long white dress had an A-line neck with long lace sleeves and an open back. The bottom flowed down naturally but the top was form fitting, accentuating Erin's perfect figure. It was simple but uniquely elegant.

"Shit," Erin whispered as she turned to look at herself in the mirror once Amanda helped her put the dress on. The second she registered her reflection, her mind was immediately filled with images of Hank walking her down the aisle to Jay and tears threatened to fall from her eyes. This was it.

"You look beautiful," Amanda beamed, opening the fitting room door so she could show Kim and Amanda.

"Oh my god," Kim choked out, looking up from her phone. Tears were immediately flowing down her cheeks. "Erin…"

Erin nodded, biting her lip in a losing battle to keep her own composure.

Lauren was at a loss for words, in total awe of the women she now thought of as her little sister. Her mind was racing between thoughts of how beautiful she was and what Jay's reaction was going to be when he saw his girl in this beautiful dress walking down the aisle in six months. She had been so worried about Jay when he had first come home from overseas. He'd completely shut down and refused to talk to anyone about his experiences and spent most of his time in a grungy old bar, drinking until he couldn't even remember his own name. She and Will had been so terrified that they had lost him for good, especially after he had moved to Chicago to isolate himself from their family in Wisconsin. Over time he'd gotten better, especially after she'd had the twins, but she still continued to worry about him. Throughout the past year though, it was like meeting a whole new Jay. A Jay who reminded her of her goofy little brother back in high school; always looking at the positives and who was just so content with life. Lauren hadn't seen this side of him in so long, and she knew she had the beautiful woman standing in front of her to thank. Like any protective older sister, she had been skeptical when Jay brought Erin around the first time; especially the morning after Will's wedding when she'd run out of their parent's house crying, leaving a devastated Jay in her wake. But her brother continued to talk about the woman like she hung the stars in the sky, and every time Lauren met her she loved Erin even more. And it helped that she was pretty sure her children liked Erin more than they liked Jay, or even her sometimes. She really couldn't have asked for her brother to choose a better person to spend the rest of his life with and she was so happy for both of them and the beautiful love that they had found. "You're beautiful, Erin," she whispered once she finally found words, not that they even did the woman any justice.

Erin squeezed her eyes shut in an effort to keep her tears at bay. The last thing she needed was black mascara running down her cheeks and getting on this very expensive piece of fabric. "Thank you," she offered a sincere smile to both of her friends before turning back to Amanda. "This is it," she announced, earning cheers from the entire room.

"Please go change so I can hug you," Kim beamed at her best friend, still in awe at how amazing she looked. People weren't kidding when they said there was a wedding dress out there _made_ for you.

Erin beamed back at Kim as she obeyed the order, turning around and walking into the dressing room where Amanda helped her change again.

"So tell me about your fiancé," the saleswoman asked as she unzipped the dress.

"He's…" Erin paused, not even sure how to describe Jay. He was just her perfect _Jay._ "He's amazing. I wouldn't even know where to begin."

"Where did you meet?" Amanda asked; her heart warmed by just the amount of love in Erin's voice.

"Work," Erin allowed a small laugh, thinking of the time when they were strictly Intelligence partners. It seemed like it was so long ago. "We're detectives, he was actually my partner for two years before we started dating."

"Oh, wow," Amanda smiled as she helped Erin slip off the dress. "What made you guys give it a shot?"

Erin laughed again. She'd never get tired of telling their story, no matter how ridiculous it sounded. "We were best friends. I actually went as his date to his brother's wedding and he told his mom we were dating so she'd stop hounding him about being perpetually single. I got jealous when his ex walked in the room and basically realized I was in love with him. We hooked up that night and the rest is history… it's been a long, bumpy road but I wouldn't trade it for the world."

"That's amazing," the woman smiled, hanging up the dress and slipping the protective bag back over it. "What kind of bumps, if you don't mind me asking?" Amanda realized she probably sounded creepy, but her favorite part of her job was hearing the stories of true love all of her brides-to-be had found.

"Well, my dad is also our boss," Erin said bluntly, earning an eyebrow raise from Amanda. "Yeah. So he basically forbid Jay and I from dating the day we became partners, but the day after we hooked up I called him _begging_ him to let me date Jay. He told me the only way he'd allow us to be in a relationship was if one of us transferred out of his unit, and I love my job and I would never make Jay change units either, so I took the easy way out and told Jay we couldn't do it. Then a few days later, Jay got super drunk and called my dad, also known as his boss, declaring his love for me. To this day, Hank won't tell me what he said but it had to be very convincing – sometimes I think he likes Jay better than me now. But we got back together the next morning, and have been ever since. There's been awful undercover assignments and family drama and gunshot wounds and it hasn't been pretty, but it's still been the best year of my life."

"I just got the chills," Amanda said honestly, opening the dressing room door to let Erin out. "That's an amazing love story. I hate to change the subject and I can't wait to learn more about you guys, but I just need you to follow me back up to the front so I can put your measurements into the computer and we can order your beautiful dress."

Erin nodded happily, signaling for Kim and Lauren to follow them back through the store. As promised, Kim ran up to Erin and wrapped her arms around the older detective as they walked. "I'm so happy for you," she whispered in her friend's ear.

"Thank you, Kim. Thank you for being here and for everything else you've done for us this year." Erin squeezed her back as hard as she could while walking.

When they reached the front of the store, Erin bid her goodbyes to Kim and Lauren and thanked them for coming, promising another shopping trip for Emma's flower girl dress soon. She then made her way over to the register where Amanda was typing viciously on the computer, an unreadable look on her face.

"Is everything okay?" Erin asked, reaching into her purse for her wallet.

"Yeah, it's really good actually," Amanda looked up at her, a huge smile on her face. "You said your dad's name was Hank, right?"

"Yeah?" Erin answered slowly, confusion written all over her face. "Why?"

"I totally forgot, but he actually came in last night. He said his daughter was coming in to look at dresses today and he actually, um, left payment in full for any dress you wanted," she looked down at a sticky note hanging off of the computer. "He said to tell you it was from Camille?"

A new batch of tears filled Erin's eyes and this time she was unable to stop them from falling freely down her cheeks. Never in a million years had she expected Hank to pay for her wedding dress, but more than anything she wished Camille could be here for her wedding day. She would have adored Jay. "Oh my god," Erin choked out; unable to even identify the emotions she was feeling. Gratitude. Love. Heartache. Excitement. So much fucking _love._

Amanda reached a hand across the counter and squeezed Erin's hand. "He looked so proud last night. He said some amazing things about you and your fiancé. I'm so glad I got to meet you and see just how right he was."

Erin wiped at her eyes but it proved useless as the tears just kept falling. "Thank you so much. Do I have to do anything else, or can I-"

"Go," Amanda smiled, knowing Erin had somewhere she needed to be. "We'll call you when the dress comes in to set up your first fitting."

"Thank you," Erin repeated, turning around and nearly running out the door.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Lindsay!" Sergeant Platt exclaimed when Erin sprinted through the door of the precinct. Erin had all intentions of brushing past the desk sergeant in her haste to get upstairs but stopped as soon as she heard her name.

"Hey, Sarge," she smiled politely, still in a rush to buzz herself up.

"Are you okay?" Platt asked, her voice dripping with uncharacteristic concern as she saw Erin's bloodshot eyes.

"Yeah," Erin answered, allowing a small laugh at how ridiculous she must look right now. "I'm great, actually. I, um, found my wedding dress today."

"Erin!" Platt stepped out from behind the desk, engulfing the smaller woman in a hug that took everyone in the lobby by surprise. "I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks, Sarge," Erin smiled gratefully as she pulled away. "I'll show you pictures later, but I really have to find Hank right now. Is he upstairs?"

"Yeah," the sergeant moved back behind the desk when she registered Erin's rush, pressing a button to open the gate up to the bullpen and save Erin the time of punching in her code. "Go on up. I'm sure your boys missed you today."

"Thank you," the detective repeated, taking off for the staircase. Erin was thankful that Hank's office was the first thing that came into view when you walked up the steps and she could see her father figure alone behind the closed door. Her pace quickened as she reached the top of the stairs and headed straight for the office, ignoring the questioning stares from Jay and the rest of the unit.

"Hey," Erin knocked on the door as she opened it, shutting it behind her before Hank even gave her permission to enter.

"Hey, kid," Hank's face lit up when he saw her, just like it always did. "What are you doing here?"

"Thank you," Erin ignored his question, walking around his desk to envelope him in a hug. "Thank you so much," she buried her face in his neck in a lame attempt to stop herself for crying from the third – or maybe fourth – time that day. Being so happy and in love was _exhausting._

"You found a dress," Hank concluded, gently rubbing the back of the woman he thought of as a daughter.

"Yeah," Erin said with a smile, pulling back and wiping her eyes. "And then I went to pay for it and was told it was from Camille."

"It is," Hank leaned forward to press his lips to Erin's forehead. "She would be so proud of you, Erin. You know how badly she would want to be a part of this."

"I know," Erin nodded. "I wish she was."

"That makes two of us. She would be so damn proud of you, kid," he repeated. "Even prouder than me, even though I'm not sure that's possible."

Erin just shook her head, unsure of what she had ever done in her life to deserve this man. This family. _This life._ "I love you."

"I love you too, kid." Hank playfully ruffled her hair. "Now go tell Halstead you're okay before his stare burns holes through this glass."

Erin laughed as she turned around and made eye contact with Jay through the door, who then turned back to his paperwork, embarrassed that he was caught. "Thank you," she said again.

"Don't mention it, kid. Take Halstead with you when you leave, he's spending too much time staring at your empty desk to get anything done today anyway."

Erin just scoffed at that as she reached for the door handle. "Come over for Sunday dinner this weekend. I'll invite Justin and Olive too."

"I'd like that." Hank smiled as he sat back down, motioning for Erin to leave his office.

"Hi," Erin smiled as she reached Jay's desk and plopped down on his lap, the rules of professionalism forgotten for a minute.

"Hey yourself," Jay wrapped his arms around her. "You good?"

"Mhmm," Erin nodded, glancing down at the papers scattered around Jay's desk. Of the five forms she could see, one was filled out. Half way. She thought about teasing him about how she was right – he would never, ever get his paperwork done on time – but she didn't want him to feel the need to stay at the district and finish it just to prove her wrong. "Let's go home."

"We didn't get out yet," Jay sighed, gesturing to the blank papers littering his desk.

Erin rolled her eyes and looked between Jay and Hank's office. "Let's go home," she repeated, giving her fiancé a look and praying he got the hint.

"Oh!" he smiled, his eyes lighting up like a kid on Christmas morning when he realized what she was saying. Hank was letting him get away with not finishing his paperwork. And leave early. With his girl. Even though he'd been late this morning because of said girl. Best day _ever._

Erin laughed as she stood up, turning off his computer for him as he shoved the paperwork into a random desk drawer. They walked out of the bullpen together, ignoring the complaints from Ruzek and Atwater about having double the paperwork never being allowed to leave early.

"How was your day?" Jay asked, grabbing her hand as soon as they were outside the building.

"Perfect," she smiled a dimpled smile, squeezing his hand and moving closer towards him. "How was yours?"

"It's better now," Jay smiled as they reached their cars. "I missed you,"

"You're such a dork," Erin laughed. "I missed you too. But it's still early… and we were kinda rushed this morning…" she winked as she opened her car door and began to get inside.

Jay caught on to what she was hinting at _much_ quicker this time and copied her actions, getting into his own car. "I'll meet you at home. Drive safe. Oh, and Er?"

"Yeah?" she looked at him, a smile still on her face as she reached for the door handle to close the door.

"I love you."

Her smile widened. "I love you, too,"


	23. Chapter 23

_A/N: Here it is, the second to last chapter! It's fluffy, but it's long, so I hope it was worth the wait and as always I thank you all for your patience. I can't believe this story is almost over, I love this little world that has been created and I hope you all do too. Enjoy and review, review, review – I'll see you all for the final chapter! :) xo_

SIX MONTHS LATER…

"Erin, come on. You _have_ to come to Molly's tonight! It's almost your last night of being a single woman!" Kim begged as she cornered Erin in the break room.

Erin rolled her eyes as she reached for a mug to fill with coffee, purposely waving the rock on her left ring finger in Kim's face. "Single?"

"Unmarried. _Whatever._ You know what I mean!" Kim continued to beg, sliding another mug across the counter to Erin in a silent request for a caffeine fix.

Erin shot a Kim a dirty look but filled up the younger woman's mug anyway. She loved that Hank had finally realized her best friend deserved a spot in Intelligence and she was so proud that Kim was absolutely thriving in the unit, but between wedding planning and working non-stop as the warm weather in Chicago triggered higher crime rates, Erin and Kim literally spent every waking moment together. And even though her fiancé was also in the unit and working these ridiculous hours with them, because Jay was a typical male and wanted absolutely nothing to do with wedding planning, Erin was spending way more time with Kim than with him. And it sucked. Erin and Jay would arrive at work together around 7:00 in the morning, talk about nothing but Chicago's criminals all day, then when Hank finally let them free around 8:00 each night, she had to settle for offering her fiancé a small kiss goodbye in the district parking lot before she headed to Kim's to order flowers or confirm the dinner menu or create a playlist for the DJ. She knew he always tried to stay up until she got home, but he was always passed out on the couch when she got in, exhausted from their long days. They were getting married in _two days_ and Erin couldn't remember the last time they'd had a meaningful conversation.

"Just because I'm getting married doesn't mean I won't be able to go to Molly's anymore," Erin sighed, sliding the newly filled mug and a container of sugar back down the counter to Kim. "If we're getting off early today, I just want to spend the night with Jay."

Kim sighed in defeat as she poured sugar into her coffee and reached for a spoon to stir the dark liquid. "The wedding hasn't even happened yet and you're already a boring old married couple," she complained.

Erin rolled her eyes again and gently patted Kim on the back as she walked around her en route back to the bullpen. "Molly's will still be here when we get back from our honeymoon."

Kim watched her best friend leave the break room and move back to her desk, basically having eye sex with Jay as she walked. _God,_ the younger cop thought, _they are so in love it's sickening._ It was cute and all, but it was making her plans for tonight very, very difficult. After a moment, she picked up her own coffee and followed Erin's footsteps back out into the bullpen but stopping at Adam's desk instead of her own. "You need to get Jay to go to Molly's tonight," she whispered, looking around to make sure Erin was distracted.

"No, no, no," Ruzek shook his head, glancing around the bullpen as he tried to keep his voice down. "This was your idea."

Erin and Jay had never had an engagement party and Erin, hating to be the center of attention, hadn't wanted a bridal shower either. Wanting to give them at least some sort of celebration before their big day, Kim had taken it upon herself to plan a surprise party at Molly's with everyone from 21, the firehouse, and Med. She knew it was last minute, but between the crazy hours they'd been working lately and the amount of work that planning Erin's wedding actually took, tonight was the only night she could have planned this party.

Kim's panic was interrupted by Voight storming out of his office. "Last time I checked, you guys don't get paid to sit around here and chat all day. Diego Martinez's parole officer lives on West 18th. Someone go pay him a visit," the sergeant barked.

"Adam and I will!" Kim volunteered, practically running over to her desk to grab her jacket. Ruzek rolled his eyes as he followed her out the door, earning strange looks from the rest of the team.

"Adam," Kim began again once they were in the car. "You _have_ to convince him. Erin said no to me! She said she wants to spend the night with Jay!"

Ruzek raised his eyebrows as he glanced between Kim and the road. "So why didn't you just tell her to bring Jay with her?"

"Oh my god!" Kim exclaimed, taking her phone out of her pocket. "You are a genius!"

"Yeah, that was a hard one." Ruzek muttered sarcastically. Kim ignored him as she frantically typed another pleading text to Erin.

x

"Hey," Erin smiled as she crossed the bullpen and sat on Jay's desk. Hank had sent everyone else out to talk to witnesses and gone to talk to someone himself, but left her and Jay back reviewing camera footage. He claimed the partners had just gotten the luck of the draw for assignments, but Erin was pretty sure he didn't want to risk his little girl having a potential black eye or broken arm or bullet wound on her wedding day.

"Hey yourself," Jay leaned forward to peck her lips; savoring the rare alone time they got during the workday. "Do you think Voight will still let us go early tonight?"

Erin nodded. "We've been here 'til 8 every night for the past two weeks."

"But the new case-" Jay began, and Erin shook her head.

"He said if we hit another dead end he's handing it over to homicide. Supposedly there's some big wedding coming up we all need time off for," she said playfully, sending Jay a wink.

Jay couldn't help but beam at her words. _Wedding._ He still couldn't believe it. In two days, he would get to call the beautiful human sitting across from him - the woman he'd been stupidly in love with for almost three years - his _wife._ "Oh, is there now?" he joked back, earning an eye roll and dimpled grin from Erin.

"Apparently," she said through a laugh before her face turned serious. "I have to ask you something."

"What's up?" Jay asked, immediately showing concern and rolling his chair closer to his desk so he could reach out and touch her knee.

"I know we haven't gotten out early in weeks and I feel like we haven't had a chance to talk about anything but work in forever and I really want to spend the night with you, but Kim keeps begging me to go to Molly's and she's been such a big help with the wedding that I feel bad saying no but now she wants you to go too and-"

"Slow down, Er," Jay laughed at her rambling and squeezed her knee. "We'll just stop by Molly's for one drink with everyone on the way home."

Erin smiled at how easily he'd come to that compromise. "Are you sure?"

"Positive," Jay stood up, pressing a quick kiss to her lips. "Besides, rumor has it I get you all to myself for a whole week in Bali pretty soon,"

Erin's smile widened at the mention of their honeymoon destination. "Yeah, I can confirm that rumor," she snaked her arms around Jay's neck before he could walk away.

"I can't wait," he whispered, his face inches from hers.

"Keep your tongue in your damn mouth Halstead!" Their moment was interrupted as Voight came marching back into the bullpen. "Can one person in this unit do their damn job today?"

Erin laughed as she released her fiancé and watched his face turn nearly purple. "Guess what?" she asked with a smirk on her face once Voight's office door had slammed.

Jay just raised his eyebrows in question, not impressed by the smirk on Erin's face.

"Two days until you're related," she spit out through laughter as she jumped off of his desk.

"Woah," Jay grabbed her arm before she could get too far, pulling her back over by her left hand. "Is it too late to take this back?" he asked with a smirk, his fingers toying with her ring.

"Way too late," Erin shrugged and winked at Jay before wiggling out of his grasp and turning around to retreat to her desk, no doubt swinging her hips more than necessary on her short walk. This girl was going to be the death of him. If her dad didn't kill him first.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Despite his annoyance with his team, Voight stood by his word and let them leave early that night, making the cold case homicide's problem. It was 6:00 when Erin and Jay were walking down the street to Molly's, deep in conversation about their rehearsal dinner the following night.

"The reservation is at 7:30, so-" Erin walked through the door as Jay held it open, entering the tiny neighborhood pub.

"SURPRISE!" The couple's jaws dropped as they looked around the pub. Their entire team, including Voight, stood before them with smiles on their faces, surrounded by all of their colleagues from Firehouse 51 and Med.

"Oh my god," Erin's hand flew up to cover her mouth. "Guys! What is this!?"

"You've been so stressed out with work and the wedding planning, and you didn't want a bridal shower or engagement party or bachelorette party, but we wanted to celebrate with you guys before the big night," Kim explained, stepping forward to give Erin a hug.

"I was such a bitch to you this morning when you invited me here," Erin laughed into the woman's shoulder as she squeezed her tight. "Thank you so much,"

"You guys deserve it," Kim smiled as she pulled away from Erin, and then pulled Jay into a hug too. She then turned to the bar that was lined with shot glasses. "Let's get this party started!"

Music began to play and shots were immediately passed around, the overly sweet liquid burning everyone's throats. "What the hell was that?" Jay asked once he finished choking.

Kim sent a smirk towards the couple before answering. "A Sex in the Cage. A little sweeter than Sex on the Beach, ya know?"

Erin's jaw dropped and Jay turned fifty shades of red for the second time that day. "We have never-"

"Save it," Kim shook her head knowingly as she crossed the pub to sit near Adam.

"Oh my god," Erin whispered, burying her face in Jay's chest. "I told you someone would hear!'

x

Way past "one drink" later, Erin and Jay were sitting at a table in the middle of the crowded pub. Erin's barstool was pressed up against Jay's and she was leaning back, his chest supporting most of her waist.

"Okay!" Kim appeared near the bar again, now sporting a megaphone that she'd definitely stolen from the locker room. "Now can we have the bride and groom to be up here?"

"I'm gonna kill her," Erin groaned as Jay gently pushed her towards the front of Molly's, his hand steady on the small of her back.

When they reached the front, Erin shot daggers at her best friend who just smiled back widely before continuing to shout into the megaphone. "We're going to play a quick game to see how well you all know the couple! The winner gets free drinks for the rest of the night, so think carefully. There's a pile of cards with questions in the middle of each table and on the bar. Whoever gets the most right gets drinks on Adam!" Kim announced, earning cheers from the crowd and groans from Erin, Jay, and Adam.

A few minutes later, everyone had put their pens down, signifying that they had finished filling out their cards, and Kim walked around collecting the pieces of paper. Erin sat on Jay's lap on a barstool in the front of the pub, chugging a beer to ease her anxiety about what was about to come. She hatedbeing the center of attention. What the fuck was she going to do on Saturday?

"Okay, let's go over the answers!" Kim began again, pulling Erin from her thoughts. "Question one started off easy. Who initiated the first kiss?"

 _Oh Jesus,_ Erin thought. She felt Jay's chest rumble as he laughed at the memory of her jumping him on the dance floor during Will's wedding. Kim looked to the couple for an answer and Erin sheepishly raised her hand, earning both gasps and hoots from the crowd.

"Yeah Linds!" someone yelled and she just rolled her eyes. Jay couldn't stop laughing at the shocked look on Voight's face, clearly stunned by the revelation that Jay in fact _had_ obeyed orders. Kind of.

Burgess just laughed. "Okay, next one. Who takes longer to get ready?"

Erin and Jay looked at each other, both expecting the other to raise their hand. "Do not make me remind you about your first Sunday dinner with Hank," she whispered, a small smile overtaking her face as she remembered him pacing back and forth in front of his closet for what felt like _hours._

"Fine," Jay rolled his eyes and raised his hand, earning more laughs from the crowd.

"That doesn't surprise me," Burgess chuckled. "Number three… where is their favorite place to eat together?"

"Purple Pig!" the entire crowd shouted and Erin and Jay could only nod in agreement. Apparently their love for truffles was well known.

The questions continued, Erin and Jay taking shots at each other and trying to embarrass the other every chance they got and Burgess loving being the emcee. "Next… Who wears the pants in the relationship?"

The entire crowd answered in unison again, this time screaming Erin's name. Erin laughed as she turned around to press her lips to Jay's cheek. "Sorry," she whispered in his ear, letting her lips linger there a little longer than necessary.

"I'm not complaining," Jay whispered back, tightening his arms around her waist.

"Last one!" Kim continued, breaking up yet another round of eye sex. "Who is going to cry on the big day?"

The crowd answered all at once, now screaming out Jay's name. Jay felt his cheeks reddening, but he couldn't even deny it. Just the thought of how fucking beautiful Erin was going to look in a wedding gown was enough to bring tears to his eyes. Honestly, he could cry every time he even thought about how lucky he was that he got to love the girl for the rest of his life. Erin turned around to face him, her dimples wide as she laughed along with all of their friends, and Jay felt himself getting choked up right then.

"You're such a softie," she joked as she stood up from his lap to properly hug him, her arms tight around his neck as she squeezed him tight.

Jay stood up too, his arms right around her waist as he buried his face in her hair. Erin Lindsay was not one for public displays of affection, especially in a room with majority of the important people in their lives but he wasn't going to question it. "I love you, Er," he murmured into the top of her head.

"I love you too," she finally pulled out of their embrace, the smile still on her face, and stood on her toes to peck the corner of his mouth. When she pulled back again, the look of love in Jay's eyes was overwhelming and suddenly remembered that they still hadn't had their alone time. "Is it bad to leave our own party?"

Jay knew exactly what he was thinking and shook his head. "Let's go," he reached for her hand, eagerly pulling her towards the door to the pub.

"Jay! We have to say goodbye!" Erin laughed at his enthusiasm, but still allowed herself to be dragged through the bar.

"They'll figure it out," Jay smiled back at her as they reached the door and he pushed it open, letting them out into the warm Chicago night. As soon as the door shut behind them, he had Erin pinned up against the wall, his lips hot and heavy on her neck.

"Jay," she moaned. "Our coworkers are on the other side of this wall." She tried to reason with him, but his lips continued a tantalizing sucking pattern along her skin. " _Voight_ is on the other side of this wall," she tried again.

His head immediately snapped up. "You _really_ know how to kill a mood, Er," he groaned.

"Hey," Erin laughed as she reached out and cupped his cheek. "I just think our last night together before the wedding should just be... ya know, not on a street corner?"

Jay laughed and nodded, moving back so Erin was no longer pinned to the wall and throwing an arm around her shoulders as they began the walk back to their car. "Wait… did you say last night?" he asked after a minute. It was Thursday. Their wedding was Saturday. What was he missing?

"Mhmmm," Erin nodded, resting her head against his shoulder as they walked. "Kim is making you sleep at Adam's tomorrow, remember? Some tradition thing,"

"Ugh," Jay complained. He remembered Erin mentioning that to him briefly but he clearly must've blocked it out. He couldn't remember the last time he'd slept without her in his arms and didn't really want to remember what it felt like. "Do we really have to follow that?"

"Not taking any chances, Halstead," Erin winked as they reached the 300 and she walked around to the driver's side. "I kinda want this to work out."

Jay rolled his eyes but couldn't help the smile that overtook his face. "Oh that's weird, I do too."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Their final unmarried night together had been _perfect_ and Voight gave them off the following day, having officially handed their last case over to Homicide. Kim had promised to take care of all of the finishing touches for the following day and made Erin promise not to even _think_ about the wedding, to which she happily agreed. Erin and Jay spent most of the morning in bed, only leaving their safe haven under the covers when Erin convinced Jay to make her blueberry waffles. After they ate, they ended up cuddled up again, on the couch this time, watching some awful documentary that made Erin regret giving Jay the remote control. She almost made a comment asking if she really had to deal with these awful black-and-white films for the rest of her life, but she knew the answer. Yes she had to, and she also knew she'd rather spend all 24 hours of every day learning about penguins or how zippers were made than ever spending another day without Jay Halstead.

Before they knew it, it was time to get ready for their rehearsal dinner. They had decided on a small celebration at the Chicago City Winery with Jay's family, Hank, Justin and Olive, Kim and Adam, Antonio, and Mouse.

"Do you have your bag packed?" Erin asked with a wink as she walked out of the bathroom to where Jay was lounging on the bed.

Jay's snarky reply was quickly forgotten when his eyes fell on Erin. She wore a short, olive green sundress that brought out the million specks of color in her eyes and her hair was loosely curled, hanging in ringlets down past her shoulders. She hardly had on any makeup, but she was the most beautiful thing Jay had ever seen. "You make it really hard to leave when you look like that," Jay sighed, standing up and crossing the room to where she stood. "You're beautiful, baby,"

Erin smiled as she stood on her toes to kiss him softly. "You don't look so bad yourself,"

"I love you," Jay said for what felt like the thousandth time in the past 24 hours, but he couldn't help himself. He was so damn in love with the girl standing in front of him. With the idea of her being his _forever._

Erin rolled her eyes at how soft this big, strong man in front of her was. "I love you too, you dork. That's _kind of_ what this ring on my finger means," she said sarcastically, waving her left hand in his face as she moved around him to grab a pair of earrings from her dresser. She expertly put the studs in her ear without even moving to look in the mirror, making Jay laugh at how his bad-ass, leather jacket wearing, detective fiancé could be so girly when she wanted to be. Just another thing he adored about her.

"Seriously, are you packed? We're going to be late," Erin began to ramble, a telltale sign of her nervousness, as she walked past Jay out of the bedroom to find her purse.

"Yes, Er," Jay groaned, picking his duffel bag up from the floor near their bed and following her down the hall. He could literally think of one million things he would rather do than sleep on Adam Ruzek's couch tonight.

"Let's go then," Erin smiled, her attitude gone as she reached for the door handle. "Ya know, this is our last time leaving this apartment unmarried."

Jay's stomach did somersaults at her words. Every time he thought he couldn't be more excited to marry this girl, she said something like that. "Thank god," he muttered, locking the door behind them.

They arrived at the winery 20 minutes later, Erin's good mood resulting in Jay being allowed to drive for once. Everyone was already there, seated around a long, rectangular table, and cheered as the bride and groom to be entered the room.

"Stopppp," Erin whined, covering her eyes as she and Jay made their way to the head of the table.

"Get used to it, Er. The next 24 hours are alllll about you," Kim teased, getting up to hug her best friend. Erin groaned but couldn't help the butterflies taking flight in her stomach at the thought of being Erin Halstead in less than 24 hours.

Dinner went by smoothly, Erin spending most of her time deep in conversation with Emma and Matty, who mentioned every 5 seconds that they missed their Aunt Erin sooo much. As much as Jay wanted to be annoyed that his name was never brought up, he couldn't hate this. Not one bit. Hank and Jay's parents got along surprisingly well, much to Erin and Jay's dismay. They were exchanging embarrassing stories about Erin and Jay like it was their _job._

Before they knew it, Kim stood up and announced that it was time for toasts from the parents. Erin, not very experienced in the wedding department, had always thought that toasts were saved for the wedding, but Kim had decided some things just couldn't wait. Because Jay's parents had planned the entire dinner, his father stood to go first. As soon as the older man stood up, Jay reached for Erin's hand and squeezed it tight.

"First, I would like to thank you all for coming tonight. It means a lot to my wife and I, and I know it means a lot to Jay and Erin," the eldest Halstead began. "When Jay came back from Afghanistan, I was so worried about him. I loved my boy but I was so worried I'd never see him smile again. He didn't want help, he isolated himself, moved away from the family, it was hard. I hate to say that we lost touch for a few years, but we did. I thought I was getting Jay back when he called me to tell me he accepted a job working in the Intelligence Unit. He seemed happy, called more often, came up to visit whenever he could. And he was always talking about this girl named Erin. This beautiful, strong, amazing girl; the way he talked about her was the way Walt Disney describes princesses. Then one day he brings her as a date to my son Will's wedding and I finally saw what the fuss was all I about. I could finally _see_ that I was getting my Jay back. I hadn't seen him smile that big since high school, and the way she could calm him down with a simple look or touch? Amazing. Then a few months later they tell me they were only fake dating at that time," the father stopped to laugh. "I'm glad they finally figured it out, though. I've never seen two people as meant to be together as these two. I couldn't be happier that Jay found Erin and we are so excited to officially welcome her into the family tomorrow,"

" _Thank you,"_ Jay mouthed to his father before turning to look at Erin, whose eyes were glistening with tears. He leaned in to press a kiss to her lips; more thankful for her with every word his father spoke. Once they separated, Erin was the one who stood up to envelope her future father-in-law in a hug.

"Thank you for saving my boy," he whispered in the young woman's ear, and that's all it took for the tears to flow freely.

Hank was the next to give a speech, and Erin could practically hear Jay's heart beating as their sergeant stood up.

"I'm not a man of many words," Hank began, and relief radiated off Jay that this torture wouldn't last long. "But I just want to say that no matter how I may act, I am so happy that Erin found a man like Halstead. Even though I told him to keep it in his pants and told them both I didn't tolerate in house romance… if I had to make an exception for anyone, I'm glad it was these two. But Jay, if you ever hurt her-"

"You can throw my body in the river. We've gone over this, Sarge," Jay finished for the older man. Voight just nodded and walked over to the couple, shaking Jay's hand and engulfing Erin in a hug.

The celebration began to wind down and one by one their guests left the winery, soon only leaving Erin, Jay, Adam, and Kim.

"Are you _positive_ we have to follow this tradition?" Jay tried one last time, practically begging his fiancé for a repeat of the previous night.

"Yes," Erin said with a laugh, pressing her lips to him. "It will be the last time we ever have to sleep alone," she promised.

"I can't wait to call you my wife," Jay admitted, pulling her into him and burying his head in her hair.

"One more night," Erin whispered into his neck, rubbing circles on his back before she pulled back. "I'll see you tomorrow,"

"It's gonna be the best day ever," Jay said with a smile, butterflies taking flight in his stomach at the thought.

"You bet it is," Erin winked as she kissed him one final time. "Last one until you're stuck with me for good."

"Thank God," Jay's smile widened at how real this was all becoming as he looked at his watch. 10:39 pm. Approximately 15 hours until this woman was his _wife._ And he couldn't fucking wait.


	24. Chapter 24

_A/N: Hi! Eight months in the making – which I am so sorry for – but here we are, the final chapter of I Owed You One. I am so thankful you guys have stuck with me this long and hope you enjoy this last installment!_

 _I don't own anything from Chicago PD or any of the songs mentioned. I'm knee deep in my own wedding planning, so I had a lot of fun with this and there's also a ton of random wedding ceremony/vow excerpts from The Knot in here, and I don't own those either._

 _Enjoy and please review! Xo_

xoxoxoxoxoxo

"Erin! Wake up!" Kim called out loudly in a singsong voice, jumping onto Erin's bed like a child trying to wake her parent. "It's your wedding day!"

Despite how much she hated being woken up, Erin's eyes shot open and a huge smile overtook her face.

"Get up! We have so much to do! Lauren and Emma will be here soon, and the hairdresser and makeup artists are coming in an hour, and we have to take pictures before the ceremony!" Kim rambled on, flicking up the light switch in Erin's room to further force her out of bed.

Erin just laughed, pushing herself into a seated position as she took in her best friend, a goofy smile still plastered to her face. "How did you even get in here?"

"I asked Jay for his key at dinner last night," Kim stated matter-of-factly before turning on her heel. "I'm going to make coffee, you better be in the kitchen in 5 minutes!"

Erin rolled her eyes. "Yeah, Kim, just make yourself at home!" she called after her friend jokingly, but followed commands and got out of bed and headed into the bathroom to brush her teeth.

She quickly went through her morning routine then walked down the hallway to join Kim in the kitchen.

"Finally," Kim said, handing Erin a steaming mug of coffee. Erin just playfully rolled her eyes again, taking a long sip of the hot beverage. She was about to ask Kim more about the schedule for the day when there was a knock on the door. Knowing it was Jay's sister, Lauren, and niece, Emma, Erin's smile widened she crossed her apartment to let them in.

"Good morning!" Lauren chirped before the door was even fully open. "Happy wedding day!"

"Good morning," Erin smiled back, an easy feat when she hadn't stopped smiling since she'd been woken up, then bent down to pick up Emma to carry her inside. "How is the most beautiful flower girl today?"

Emma giggled as she wrapped her arms around Erin's neck. "I'm excited for you and Uncle Jay. And to wear my dress."

"I'm excited to see you in your dress," Erin placed a kiss on the young girl's forehead as she sat her down at the kitchen table next to Kim.

"Here, Erin," Jay's sister handed the bride-to-be a beautiful bouquet of red roses. "They're from Jay,"

Erin's eyes filled with tears for the first, but definitely not last, time that day. Of course he'd still find a way to get in touch with her even when their friends physically separated them. She closed her eyes tightly to keep the tears from falling as she read the attached card.

 _Erin,_

 _I can't believe that the day I've been dreaming of for 3 years is finally here. I am so excited to finally be able to call you my wife. I can't wait to see how beautiful you look today. But most of all, I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I'll see you soon, I love you. Always._

 _-Jay_

She gave up the battle to keep her tears at bay after she read the message, only able to think about how damn lucky she was to be marrying this man in a few hours.

"Why are you crying, Aunt Erin?" Emma asked, a look of concern clouding her face.

"They're happy tears, baby. I'm just really excited for today," Erin explained, wiping her eyes as she rifled through her kitchen cabinets to find a vase for the flowers. Once Kim, Lauren, and Emma were engrossed in a conversation about hair and makeup and the attention was finally off of her, Erin took the opportunity to sneak her phone out of her pocket and send a quick message to Jay.

 _Thank you for the flowers. I love you. –E_

The response was almost immediate.

 _I love you, soon-to-be Mrs. Halstead. –J_

Erin quickly sent back a red heart emoji and then put her phone back in her pocket before Kim could yell at her. She was about to join the girls at her kitchen table when there was a knock on the door.

"That must be hair and makeup! I'll get it!" Kim said excitedly, shooting up from the table and nearly running across Erin's apartment to let the hairdressers and makeup artists in.

The next two hours were a blur, Erin's hair being pulled every which way and constant commands to close her eyes, then open them again, then look to the right, and to the left. She felt as if she had an entire can of hairspray in her hair and the entire Sephora store on her face, but when a mirror was held up in front of her, she let out an audible gasp. Between her beautiful braided up-do and natural but gorgeous makeup, Erin had never felt so beautiful. She had never been so excited for Jay to see her.

Turning around when she heard the noise come out of her aunt, Emma gasped as well. "Aunt Erin! You look like a _princess!"_ she squeaked, jumping down from the couch to hug her aunt.

"Thanks, Em. You look like a princess too!" Erin ran a hair over her niece's smooth, glossy blonde curls. "I love your hair!"

"Thank you! I asked the lady to make it look like Rapunzel,"

"Well I think she did a very good job," Erin smiled at the young girl before turning to look at the clock and realizing there was less than an hour left until they needed to leave for the ceremony. "Do you want to go put your dress on?"

"YES!" Emma exclaimed, running down the hallway to Erin's bedroom where the bridal party dresses were being stored and Kim and Lauren were already getting changed. Erin laughed at her enthusiasm, thanked the hairdressers and makeup artists before showing them out of the apartment, then followed Emma's footsteps into her bedroom.

"Oh my gosh," Lauren's jaw dropped as Erin entered her bedroom.

"Erin, you are beautiful," Kim said at the same time, her eyes beginning to tear up.

"Don't ruin your makeup yet," Erin joked, hugging her friend. "You two look amazing," she stood back to admire her two beautiful bridesmaids in their long, strapless sage green dresses.

"Mama, can I put my dress on?" Emma asked impatiently, interrupting the moment between the friends.

"Yeah, baby," Lauren smiled, grabbing the smallest garment bag that was hanging in Erin's doorway. She helped Emma into her poofy white dress, complete with a sage sash around the waist. Ever the little fashionista, Emma had also chosen sparkly gold shoes to wear with it.

"Wait, I have something for you," Erin remembered, reaching to the top shelf of her closet and pulling down a bag. "This is from Uncle Jay."

Emma eagerly grabbed the bag from her aunt, her face lighting up like a Christmas tree when she pulled out a matching sparkly gold tiara. "A tiara!"

"He said to remind you that every princess needs a tiara," Erin smiled at the relationship between her fiance and his niece, then pressed a light kiss to the little girl's cheek. She took the tiara from Emma's hands, carefully adjusting it in the young girl's blonde locks. "Beautiful."

"But it's your wedding, Aunt Erin! _You're_ the princess!"

"I'll share the title with the most beautiful little girl I know," Erin winked before standing up straight and looking at the only garment bag left hanging in her doorway.

Noticing where her friend was looking, Kim smiled. "Ready, Er?"

Erin nodded and Kim unzipped the bag to reveal Erin's wedding dress. Erin smiled at the sight of the lace dress that was made just for her and took a deep breath. _This was really happening._ Erin stepped into the dress and her bridesmaids helped her to pull it up and adjust it on her body. Kim carefully zipped it up on the side, then the two women stepped back to admire the bride.

"Jay is going to lose his mind when he sees you," Lauren smiled at the woman who was about to become her sister-in-law.

"I am so excited to see him," Erin had butterflies in her stomach at the thought. It had barely been 13 hours since the last time she saw him, but she missed him so damn much. And she was so fucking excited to become his wife.

xoxoxoxo

"Dude, stop pacing," Mouse said with a laugh.

"I can't," Jay shook his head, unable to believe that in less than an hour, Erin Lindsay was going to be his wife. Himself, his groomsmen Mouse and Will, and his ring bearer Matty had just arrived to their venue and now everything seemed even more real.

Jay and Erin had decided on the Carriage Greens Country Club as their wedding venue. It was a bit much for their detective salaries, but both Jay's parents and Hank had been insistent on chipping in. Their ceremony was set to be outside in the gazebo, then they would move inside to the Grand Ballroom for their reception. From where he was standing (okay, pacing) in the back room the men had been assigned to stay in until the start of the ceremony, Jay could see the setup for their outside ceremony through a window. The green lawn was filled with people, their guests all beginning to arrive. It was the perfect June day in Chicago, the sun was shining and there was not a cloud in the sky, and it was a beautiful 70 degrees. It was as if the universe knew that Jay Halstead and Erin Lindsay were meant to finally be joined in marriage today.

"Uncle Jay!" Matty exclaimed, standing up from his chair to grab his uncle's hand. "Calm down,"

Mouse and Will laughed at the young boy, but Jay just sighed. He didn't know why he was so nervous. He was marrying Erin, the girl of his dreams. He'd been dreaming of this day for three years.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door of the small room. "Excuse me, sir," a country club employee stuck his head through the doorway. "It's time to get in place for the ceremony."

Jay took a deep breath as his brother squeezed his shoulder supportively. "Showtime, baby brother," Will whispered in his ear.

Ten minutes later, Jay stood at the altar. _To Make You Feel My Love_ by Garth Brooks began to quietly play over the speakers, signaling the start of the processional. Jay took another deep breath to ensure he didn't pass out, before looking up to see his parents walking down the aisle, leading the processional before taking their seats in the front row, next to the empty chair for Hank. Following them was first wedding party couple, his sister and Mouse. Jay's breath caught in his throat at how happy and beautiful both his mother and Lauren looked, and he knew he was going to be a wreck by the time Erin made it out here. Lauren and Mouse both offered Jay a supportive smile as they stood in their places behind him. Next, the maid of honor and best man, Kim and Will, walked down the aisle, both of them absolutely beaming as they took their spots. Emma and Matty followed them down the aisle, Emma throwing light pink rose petals down the walkway and Matty tightly clutching a sign that read _Uncle Jay, Here Comes Your Girl!_ Jay smiled widely at the sign, the first batch of tears filling his eyes at the thought. Both his niece and nephew offered Jay a hug as they passed him, Emma moving to stand behind Lauren and Matty moving next to Will.

The music changed to _Here Comes the Bride_ and all of their guests stood up and turned around in anticipation of Erin making her grand entrance. Jay's heart sped up to what he was sure was a deadly rate, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. There was a collective gasp from the crowd, and then Jay experienced the true meaning of "tunnel vision". Suddenly Erin was at the end of the aisle, and she was all he could see. There were no words in the English language to describe how stunningly beautiful she looked, and Jay knew there were tears streaming down his face but he couldn't find it in himself to care. He was the luckiest man in the fucking universe. His body moved on his own accord, and before he knew it, he was meeting Hank at the front of the altar to get his girl.

"Take care of her, Jay," His sergeant's gruff voice brought him back to reality, and the rare usage of his first name did not go unnoticed by the groom.

"Always," Jay choked out, eagerly grabbing Erin's hand and leading her onto the altar.

"Hi," he whispered, tears still rolling down his cheeks. "You look beautiful,"

Erin smiled, blinking back her own tears as she grabbed both of Jay's hands and they stood in front of the officiant. "You don't look so bad yourself," she whispered, squeezing his hands.

The two were pulled out of their own little world when the officiant began speaking. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of these witnesses to join Jay Halstead and Erin Lindsay in matrimony, which is commended to be honorable among all men; and therefore is not by any to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, discreetly, advisedly and solemnly. Into this holy estate these two persons present now come to be joined. If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.

Friends and family of Jay and Erin, welcome to their wedding ceremony. They are happy to share this moment with you. They have known most of you for several years. You watched them grow up, went to school with them, or worked with them. Because you are the ones who have supported them and known them so well, it is only fitting that you are the ones to share this moment with them.

The groom and bride have their parents in the front row, close to them for the ceremony. The groom would like to thank his parents for all of the love and support over the years, and the bride would like to thank her father for all of the love and the opportunities he has given her. The bride would also like to remember her late mother, who is always in her heart and mind. She wishes she could be here today, but she knows she is watching and happy for them both.

And so it is that groom and bride present themselves to be married today, surrounded by the people they love the most."

There wasn't a dry eye in the crowd or on the altar after the introduction, as everyone present knew there were no two people who deserved each other more than Jay and Erin. The happy tears continued through the opening prayer and the definition of marriage, until it was time for the wedding vows.

The officiant began speaking again. "We now come to the words the bride and groom want to hear most today… the words that take them across the threshold from engaged to married. Before you declare your vows to one another, I want to hear you confirm that it is indeed your intention to be married today.

Erin, do you come here freely and without reservation to give yourself to Jay in marriage? If so, answer 'I do.'"

"I do," Erin choked out as best as she could through the tears, squeezing Jay's hands.

The officiant continued. "Jay, do you come here freely and without reservation to give yourself to Erin in marriage? If so, answer 'I do.'"

"I do," Jay squeezed Erin's hands back.

"It is my understanding that you wrote your own vows, is that correct?" the officiant asked and both Erin and Jay nodded, signaling for her to continue. "Erin, please declare your marriage vows."

Erin took a deep breath. "Jay," she began shakily. "You are my best friend in this world. You taught me how to trust someone, how to let someone in, and most importantly, how to love someone. I promise to be your back up forever, and to protect you as fiercely as you protect me every single day. Today, I take you as you are. I love you for who you were in the past, for who you are now, and for who you have yet to become. I promise to always listen to you, learn from you, support you, and to accept your support, no matter how hard it seems. I will celebrate your victories and mourn your losses as if they were my own. I will love you and have faith in your love for me, through all our years and through all that life may bring us. Always."

After hearing Erin's vows, Jay was unsure if he was even going to be able to say his own. Tears were still flowing freely down his face and the knot in his throat had never been bigger, so overwhelmed with love for the woman in front of him.

"Jay, please declare your marriage vows."

Jay cleared his throat and squeezed Erin's hands again before beginning. "Erin, I love you more than I've ever loved anyone, or anything, in my entire life. I never knew it was possible to love someone this much, and I'm so thankful that you allow me to love you in the way that you do. I promise you that I will never, ever stop loving you. I promise to always laugh with you, and to never go to bed angry. I promise to comfort you in times of sorrow, including rough Blackhawks, Bears, and Cubs seasons. I promise to always listen to what you have to say, even when we don't see eye to eye, and to remember that love is saying 'I feel differently' instead of 'you're wrong'. I promise to always be your backup and your biggest protector. But most importantly, I promise to love you, under any circumstances; happy or sad, easy or difficult, through the sunshine and through the rain for the rest of my days. I am so proud to be yours. I am the luckiest man in the universe and I could not imagine growing old with anyone else."

"That was beautiful," the officiant said with a smile. "It is now time for the exchange of the wedding rings. Your wedding ring is the outward and visible sign of the inward and invisible bond, which already unites two hearts in love. I ask the best man to please give Erin's ring to Jay.

Jay, place the ring on Erin's finger and repeat after me…

 _Erin,_

 _With this ring, I marry you_

 _You are the love of my life_

 _And you are my very best friend."_

Jay repeated the vow as he slid the gold band onto Erin's finger.

The officiant began speaking again. "Best man, please give Jay's ring to Erin. Erin, place the ring on Jay's finger and repeat after me…

 _Jay,_

 _With this ring, I marry you_

 _You are the love of my life_

 _And you are my very best friend."_

Erin repeated the vow as she slid the gold band onto Jay's finger.

"May the wedding rings you exchanged today remind you that you are surrounded by enduring love. Erin and Jay, I offer you these good wishes on this special day – may you always share open and honest communication with each other. May you respect each other's individual talents and gifts and give full support to each other's personal and professional pursuits. May you cherish the home and family you will create together. May all the years to come be filled with moments to celebrate and renew your love, and may your love be a life-long source of excitement, contentment, affection, respect, and devotion for one another.

Now, by the power vested in me by the state of Illinois, it is my honor and delight to declare you husband and wife. Jay, you may now kiss your bride."

Jay wrapped his arms around Erin and crashed his lips against hers; dipping her backwards in a kiss unlike any they had ever shared. He felt Erin's hands move around his neck and squeeze him tight. All he could taste was the saltwater from both of their tears, but it was still the most perfect few seconds of his life. Despite the fact that they'd probably shared thousands of kisses in the last year, this one felt different. It felt so right. He could hear the hoots and hollers of the crowd, but it was all just background noise. Once they were both out of breath, Jay pulled them back upright, but not without pecking his _wife's_ lips one more time.

The officiant broke them out of their own little world for the last time with her final declaration. "I am pleased to present to you for the first time the newlyweds, Mr. and Mrs. Jay Halstead!"

Jay grabbed Erin's hand and led his wife down the back aisle as their guests cheered. It was a long time coming, but the happy tears and beaming smiles of the bride, groom, wedding party, and guests were proof that they had all just witnessed the most beautiful, well-deserved wedding ceremony that Chicago had ever seen.

The ceremony was followed by a photo shoot, then the reception. After dinner, Jay and Erin were seated at the head table, accepting congratulations from all of their families and friends, when they saw Kim walk onto the dance floor with a microphone.

"God help us," Erin muttered, flashing back to the last time Kim was given a loud speaker in Molly's.

"Hi everyone! Are you all having a good time tonight?" The maid of honor asked into the mic, her question met with cheers from the crowd. "Good! It's time Jay and Erin's first dance as husband and wife, so let's hear it for them!"

Erin cringed, still not used to the attention, but one look at her _husband's_ smiling face and outstretched hand and she was standing up, following him to the middle of the dance floor. _Say You Won't Let Go_ by James Arthur began to play and one of Jay's arm encased Erin's back, and his free hand grabbed hers as she brought her other hand up to his shoulder.

 _I met you in the dark, you lit me up  
You made me feel as though I was enough  
We danced the night away, we drank too much  
I held your hair back when you were throwing up_

 _Then you smiled over your shoulder  
For a minute, I was stone-cold sober  
I pulled you closer to my chest  
And you asked me to stay over_

 _I said, I already told ya  
I think that you should get some rest_

 _I knew I loved you then but you'd never know  
'Cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go  
I know I needed you but I never showed  
But I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old  
Just say you won't let go_

The two swayed along to the music, lost in each other's eyes and a song that seemed to tell their story so perfectly.

"We made it," Erin whispered.

"We did," Jay smiled, placing a kiss on her forehead. "Pretend dating, drunk phone calls, undercover ops, escaped convicts, bullet wounds, family drama… yet here we are,"

 _I'll wake you up with some breakfast in bed  
I'll bring you coffee with a kiss on your head  
And I'll take the kids to school, wave them goodbye  
And I'll thank my lucky stars for that night_

 _When you looked over your shoulder  
For a minute, I forget that I'm older  
I wanna dance with you right now  
Oh, and you look as beautiful as ever  
And I swear that everyday you'll get better  
You make me feel this way somehow_

"Better than ever," Erin smiled.

"Every time that I think it can't get better, you amaze me even more. You exceed my expectations every single day. I am so amazed by you, and all of the things you do, and the person that you are, Erin. Every single day I wake up and think there's no way I could possibly love you more than I do, yet I love you more every single day."

"I love you so much," Erin leaned forward to capture Jay's lips. "I never knew it was possible to love someone this much. How did I get so lucky?"

 _I'm so in love with you and I hope you know  
Darling your love is more than worth its weight in gold  
We've come so far my dear, look how we've grown  
And I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old_

 _Just say you won't let go  
Just say you won't let go_

 _I wanna live with you, even when we're ghosts  
'Cause you were always there for me when I needed you most_

 _I'm gonna love you till my lungs give out  
I promise till death we part like in our vows  
So I wrote this song for you, now everybody knows  
'Cause now it's just you and me till we're grey and old  
Just say you won't let go  
Just say you won't let go_

 _Just say you won't let go  
Oh, just say you won't let go_

"How did _I_ get so lucky? Erin, you are the strongest, most amazing, beautiful woman on this Earth. You were the greatest girlfriend and fiancé, you're the greatest friend, aunt, and daughter, and I know you're going to be the greatest wife. And the greatest mom someday." Jay ran a hand up and down her back.

"And you're going to be the greatest husband and dad. I'm so thankful that I get to do life with you," Erin smiled up at him. "Isn't it crazy? Just a little over a year ago we were at a wedding, pretending to be a couple, and now we're here. Dancing at our own wedding."

"We've come full circle, Erin Halstead. And I couldn't be happier," Jay smiled as he pulled her closer and captured his wife's lips in one more perfect kiss as the song ended. They had officially made it.

 _End._


End file.
